May.28.2008 ZOMBIES HAVE RIGHTS TOO
Catholic people are pretty silly. But so are zombies. Finally, these two juggernauts can go head to head.
A procession of devils, ghosts and zombies through the historic Spanish city of Toledo has been branded blasphemous by the Catholic Church.
Actors from the Morboria theatre company performed a representation inspired by the medieval Dance of Death in Toledo’s streets on Saturday, provoking an angry reaction from the cathedral pulpit the following day.
“We ask forgiveness for those who yesterday insulted the body of Christ,” said Archbishop Antonio Canizares, quoted in newspaper El Pais.
A representative of Morboria said the actors had been well received by most passers by except for one small group who told them off and said they would pray for them.
I’ve long been an advocate of Zombie Americans (and ostensibly their spicy Spaniard brethren who probably are the same but enjoy their brains in polenta and salsa dancing). As such, I’m extremely disappointed in these discriminatory practices. I’m glad that the Catholic church chose to worship a Zombie because that really did a lot for Zombie rights. But Jesus is like so last millennium. Let’s look for something new and exciting. Like a Zombie Obama or something. We can call him Zombama.
Yeah I’m a little tired. TIRED OF ZOMBIE DISCRIMINATION. Also…physically tired.
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Apr.21.2008 The April 21 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with both zombies and strippers.
–That Zombie Strippers movie with Jenna Jameson has a trailer. [On205th]
–Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis’s diet is going great. [Busted Coverage]
–Old Milwaukee Light is your official king of beers, according to the 2008 World Beer Cup. [Tasty Booze]
–Amy Winehouse needs alcohol to babysit. I need condoms! Aw awwww. [Best Celeb Gossip]
–Fergie is looking good in a bikini. [Egotastic]
Mar.19.2008 This seems like a great way to lose a foot
I get that baby polar bears are cute and you want to play with them and whatever, but I really can’t advocate letting the adorable little polar bear Flocke do this to you.
If this doesn’t end in Flocke growing to full-size and mauling her handler because that’s how she’s been taught to “play,” I’m going to be extremely disappointed. People seriously need to learn that just because an animal is adorable doesn’t mean that it forgets that it has the strength of 18 strapping European powerlifters. If I were a polar bear, I’d spend all day just swatting people to the ground and eating their intestines. Same if I were a zombie. Actually, same if I were a fat man. I’m not going to lie, I’m really just looking for an excuse to maul people and eat their intestines.
