Jun.20.2008 SHOCKING NEWS: Faith healing may not work
Some teenager died because his family believes in faith healing. Light-hearted fun story to kick off your day!
Authorities say a teenager from a faith-healing family died from an illness that could have been easily treated, just a few months after a toddler cousin of his died in a case that has led to criminal charges.
Tuesday’s death of 16-year-old Neil Beagley, however, may not be a crime because Oregon law allows minors 14 and older to decide for themselves whether to accept medical treatment.
An autopsy Wednesday showed Beagley died of heart failure caused by a urinary tract blockage.
He likely had a congenital condition that constricted his urinary tract where the bladder empties into the urethra, and the condition of his organs indicates he had multiple blockages during his life, said Dr. Clifford Nelson, deputy state medical examiner for Clackamas County.
“You just build up so much urea in your bloodstream that it begins to poison your organs, and the heart is particularly susceptible,” Nelson said.
This faith thing seems like one of those things that’s great in theory, slightly less so in practice. Like when I have sex with many women without a condom and just say a Hail Mary before sliding it in. It’s like, wow, I feel so much better spiritually when there isn’t a thin layer of latex between me and the good Lord. Less good spiritually when sarcoma pops out. But then better spiritually when I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight! Yay faith!
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Jun.16.2008 Being a gymnast is difficult
I’m not going to act like this is some hidden gem or anything; this is the top positioned video on the awesome Break.com right now. But it’s very early on a Monday and I’d like to jumpstart your day with a minimal amount of effort. What better way to do so than watch a phenomenal athlete (probably) seriously injure herself in a hilarious way?
You know, I never thought that gymnastics was easy. Not only do you have to miss periods if you’re a woman and, generally, make yourself into a roided-looking elf regardless of gender, but you’re apparently so superhuman that you can’t even hit a mat the size of an Olympic swimming pool. I guess I can relate. It’s like when I have sex with a woman and, no matter how many condoms I use, I inexplicably end up impregnating a woman. Granted, I don’t exactly “use condoms” or “pull out” and I like to have sex in ways that end up having my partner in a headstand. Oh and I like to spoon back in any semen that falls out. Look, I’m not saying all the preventative measures were taken but that’s no reason to hit me with another paternity suit after I refused to pay out the first one. It’s like, I get it, you’re pregnant, no need to be a bitch about it.
