Jun.03.2008 Boy in bubble now free of bubble
Did you know that there are still boys in bubbles? Well, make that one less so-called “bubble boy”.
A boy who is only one of seven in the world with a genetic mutation appears to have been cured after spending two months sealed away in a bubble chamber, the Daily Mail reported.
Rhys Harris, 7, has a genetic mutation called NEMO, or Nuclear Factor Kappa B Essential Modulator mutation, which causes recurrent bacterial infections and abnormalities to the hair, teeth, nails, sweat glands, cranial-facial structure and other body parts.
After Rhys was diagnosed with tuberculosis, his parents, Kevin and Dawn Harris, allowed doctors to seal the boy in a space-age airtight chamber, according to the Daily Mail.
No one, including his parents, was allowed to touch him while Rhys was in the bubble chamber. Doctors thought Rhys would have to stay in the isolated room for as long as eight months.
But after just two months, he was strong enough to return to his home near Newbridge, South Wales. He had to wear a mask, however, to protect him from illness.
I’m sorry, the correct answer is “Moops”.
I’d make a more clever joke but I read up on NEMO to see what it did. Turns out, this is what it does:
Mutation of the gene encoding NEMO can result in immunodeficiency without ectodermal dysplasia
Aaaaand I refuse to subject my brain to any more of this. Like I’m so perplexed that I don’t even want to say anything mean about the kid. Godspeed you brave lil soldier.
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Apr.21.2008 Kids with cancer isn’t depressing at all
So if you’re a nine year-old girl, you know what sucks? Having a THIRD type of cancer.
A 9-year-old Portage girl who has had cancer for more than half her life just found out she has a third type of cancer.
Emily Miller was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia in 2002, overcame it in 2005 and was in remission until April of last year when she was diagnosed with T-cell lymphoma.
She was excited to finish chemotherapy this August.
But after recent routine labs, doctors told the family that Emily has acute myeloid leukemia. It’s a cancer that starts inside bone marrow and develops quickly.
Her father Cory Miller says Emily told him she didn’t want to die. She says she has about 10 fights left in her.
This girl collects cancer like other little girls collect Barbies. Only instead of a well-endowed plastic blond, she gets to lose hair and weight. Hopefully she doesn’t look up to Miley Cyrus; it’d be kind of hard to flash with only one breast.
You know who’s the real victim here? Me. Because it’s hard to write about a little girl with cancer whom I feel bad about without feeling like an utter douchebag. So uh, yeah. Wear a yellow ribbon for my comedy.
Mar.13.2008 Paris and Benji Madden spit on the graves of sick kids
I’m pretty good at headlines. In reality, Benji Madden had to back out a gig because Paris Hilton made him go out the night before. Read on for more excitement!
BENJI Madden and Paris Hilton have caused ripples in Las Vegas by snubbing a children’s charity so they could party into the night.
Sources have revealed exclusively to PerezHilton.com that Las Vegas club, Prive, hired the Good Charlotte guitarist to DJ, with a standard contractual non-compete agreement, which means he is not allowed to appear at any nightclubs the evening prior.
But it seems Benji and Paris couldn’t help themselves and went out the night before, violating his contract, and cancelling the agreement, which means no money for the sick kids.
When asked why he violated his agreement he said, “I feel awful but i didnt know what to do, I’m crazy about this girl,” a source told Perez Hilton.
A rep for the club told PerezHilton.com exclusively, “While Prive Las Vegas is a fan of the Madden brothers and the charity, they had no other choice but to cancel his appearance as we take our agreements very seriously. Luckily we had a rockin’ packed Saturday night despite Benji’s absence.”
I guess sleeping with Paris Hilton is pretty cool, especially if you enjoy new things like little bugs pole vaulting all around your genitals, but it’s kind of screwed up to stand up an event with proceeds that are supposed to go to a charity in your family’s name.
At the same time, sick kids never really lead to me getting laid. So fuck them for trying to take away a good situation I have for me to get laid. I’ll kick their little adorable Hello Kitty canes over to get some tail. What did they ever do for me other than cough on me? Little bastards.
