Nov.20.2008 Taylor Momsen, Katrina Bowden, and Michelle Trachtenberg like shoes
From some Reebok event last night…
This is quite an event. Three incredibly hot girls for every type of man. Katrina Bowden for the general hot blond lover, Michelle Trachtenberg for the guys who like their girls a little cuter as well as the nerds who jerk off to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Taylor Momsen for the pedobear in all of us. And what’s the great unifier here? Shoes! Which is crazy because who knew that you could get women together over shoes? I mean yeah, women all love shoes and whatever, but I didn’t think I could just put a shoe under a cardboard box being supported by a stick and use it as some sort of rudimentary vagina trap. I mean if that’s all it takes, it’s worth a shot. Ether-soaked rags can be so messy.
Reminder: Taylor Momsen is 15. So clearly I would just trap her and talk to her about the dangers of gingivitis.
Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.
Aug.28.2008 Celebrity girls really want their pink Blackberry Curve
I was flabbergasted to see some of these photos this morning from some event for the new Verizon Blackberry, the Pink Curve. It’s not even that the phone is so new and awesome or anything…it’s just a pink version of the same fucking phone that’s been on the market for a year or more. Ugh. You women and your pink things and your menstrual cycles. Then again, look at the joy on Stacy Keibler’s face!
Girls are so ridiculous. You could probably paint anything pink and they’d be like, “Wow! A pink version! Awesome!” Hmm…*looks at genitals…seems like I have an idea.
More girls at the launch party below. Also please pray for Rashida Jones. It appears that, based upon the photo below, she seems to have been stricken with polio. Tough illness to recover from.
From left to right, Rashida Jones, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Chalke, Emmy Rossum, Lake Bell, Sanaa Lathan. [Source]
Aug.14.2008 Kentucky college girl wears dress too short, gets kicked out of mall
I don’t know what America’s turning into these days. Check out the story of Kymberly Clem, a college student forced out of a Richmond mall for wearing a dress that was “too short”. Sorry for the crappy image but it’s hard to find anything better.
A Kentucky college student has hired a lawyer after she was escorted out of a mall by security on Sunday because her dress was deemed too short, MyFOXBoston reports.
Kymberly Clem, a 20-year-old student at Eastern Kentucky University, wore the dress Sunday after purchasing it from the mall in Richmond the previous day, the Richmond Register reported Tuesday. After just a few minutes inside of the mall, a security guard approached her and expressed concerns over the length of the garment.
According to MyFOXBoston, the guard informed her that several female patrons had complained that she was disrupting their shopping experience because their husbands were “checking her out.”
“He made me turn all the way around while he stared me up and down,” she told the Register “The only thing he said was that other people didn’t like the way I looked, so he wanted me to leave.”
Clem’s sister Kendra told the Register that while the dress was short, it was not exposing any of her “private body parts.”
Granted I’m a big proponent of women’s rights and that makes me more inclined to take the side of the nubile college student over the angry henpecking women who complained about her dress because their husbands can’t stand looking at their butterball bodies any more and because every woman over 45 who isn’t at least a .6 on the MILFmometer should probably be shot and killed or taken to an internment camp, but this is just ridiculous. As is the fact that a grown woman used the phrase “private body parts”. We need to encourage our young women, not tear them down. They’re already getting all uppity with their rights to vote and whatever, let’s not give them reason to start wearing more clothes too. Otherwise we’re just going to be a less fun (read: no public stonings) version of the Middle East.
Because I like smart girls, check out this clip of the intelligent and beautiful Kymberly (when you have two Ys in your first name, you’re guaranteed to churn out pure genius) talking about the situation.
Jul.30.2008 The July 30 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy now with actual content
So I’m going to try different stuff here to get you assholes to actually click the links I sweat over to provide for you. Today is an awesome faceplant bike clip. Tomorrow? Who knows!
-Hot chicks love McDonalds (w/ video)
-I don’t know who Carolina Ardohain is but she’s the hottest thing on the Internet today, guaranteed
-Women suck at driving
-Erie cheerleaders have much to offer
LINK OF THE DAY: All you need to know about beer bongs
-An extremely attractive Auburn football fan disrobes
-Dina Lohan gets kicked out of parties
-This year’s Olympics should be tranny-free
-Judge Judy didn’t take to yesterday’s earthquake well (w/ MUST SEE video)
-Job search Web site remind you of your misery
-The cuter the animal, the more brutal the death (w/ scientific graphiness)
-Why can’t Grid Girls have outfits that cover up their ample cleavage?
-Monkey and goat make sweet sweet love (w/ humorous unsexy video)
Jun.16.2008 Finally, a sex shop that fits my children’s needs
Whenever I go into a sex shop, I can’t help but think, “Gosh, I wish my kids were here.” Well, I’m in luck.
In the p.c. enclave of hipster Brooklyn, N.Y., residents are hardly batting an eye over the opening of a new kind of sex shop.
The high-design Babeland shop, which sells itself as being “kid-friendly,” doesn’t exactly scream sex though.
Unlike the older sex shops, which are dark and dingy, the Babeland store has upbeat music, well-dressed saleswomen and infant changing tables — marketing itself as a fun place for couples to shop. It’s part of a growing trend that has been spreading from Louisville to Los Angeles in an attempt to take the sleaze out of this part of the sex industry.
“If you walk into a mainstream sex store, you’ll probably be greeted with explicit imagery and a sort of artificial sexuality, like a woman with blonde hair with her head thrown back, something that’s meant to titillate in the moment,” said Babelands’s owner Claire Cavanah.
Cavanah and staff aim to make women feel empowered, not embarrassed, they say. A sign in the front of the store implores customers to “relax, take a look around, and enjoy,” and the employees “try to have a sense of humor and be intelligent and warm,” said Cavanah.
“Here we’re really trying to sort of greet everyone where they are sexually.” This means everything from a “Sexy Moms Series” for mothers looking to spice up their sex lives to plenty of products for those looking to experience some bonding — or bondage.
Hopefully there’s some way to incorporate the parent/child bonding in the sex shop as well. Kids are being total fucking whores younger and younger these days. My First Autoerotic Asphyxiation comes to mind. I had to use a jump rope, a basketball hoop, and a sense of public degradation for mine. So, needless to say, I think improvements can be made.
Plus, babies dressed in silly costumes are SO adorable! Now imagine one with a gimp mask and a baby-proportioned big black strap-on! Soooooo se…cute. Cute.
Mar.26.2008 Women be vacuumin’
Some trashy poor women fought because one was vacuuming while the other slept. Exciting.
Two Lincoln women got into a fight over vacuuming, and now one is in jail.
Police said Nicole Carper, 28, is charged with strangulation, domestic assault and child neglect.
Officers said that at about 10 p.m. Tuesday, Carper and her girlfriend, Rebecca Chilton, got into an argument because Chilton was vacuuming while Carper was sleeping. Police said Carper choked Chilton and hit her in the back of the head about 20 times.
Chilton’s 9-year-old son witnessed the entire event and her 4-year-old daughter was awakened by the incident, police said.
It’s funny because usually all the violence in my home was because my mom wasn’t vacuuming. That’s what I used to call “Daddy’s Fisty Time”. Which was different from when he fisted my mom. That was “Daddy’s Happy Fisty Time”. I wasn’t very creative as a child.
Thanks to incandescent reader Joey Joe Joe for the tip.
