Jun.27.2008 Prostitute trades her pimp for pizza
Via Fark comes this charming tale of classy people doing classy things. A judge bought a whore a pizza to reveal her pimp to the court.
When inmate Caressa Brunelle came before a judge Wednesday to be released, Brunelle reminded the judge she was owed a pizza.
So, Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Nadine Allen sent someone to pick up a $5 personal pizza at the Downtown Donato’s and let Brunelle eat it in court.
The pizza was Brunelle’s reward for telling Allen who her pimp was, information Allen used to have the alleged pimp - Jason Lee - arrested.
“I felt that a pizza for a pimp was a good (trade),” the judge said Thursday.
“She was all ecstatic and she said, ‘Oh yeah, you owe me a pizza,’ ” Allen said.
Allen was pleased to pay up.
“I wish other prostitutes would come forward and reveal their pimps. Pizza is cheaper than what we pay for undercover (investigations). Of course, you understand I’m being facetious,” the judge said.
The fuck? A $5 personal pizza? This dick couldn’t even spring for a full pie for this poor cum dumpster who lost the main man in her life? And isn’t this illegal somehow? He totally bribed her to get her to give up info. That seems kind of messed up, even if the stakes are low and the pimp is a scumbag. On the other hand, pizza is pretty delicious. I had a lot of it last night. AND I didn’t have to sell out the guy who made me suck dicks for money. Point Chris!
Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.
Jun.26.2008 Random YouTube Fetish Thursday
After last week’s post about the Wii Fit whores I wondered…what other sort-of mundane but vaguely sexual activities are out there on YouTube?
Cartwheels are always fun. Cheerleaders do them, you look up their skirt, everyone laughs and hides their slight erection. But it’s kind of perturbing to see a chick do them over and over spliced with photos of her cleavage. Perturbingly arousing, but perturbing nonetheless.
Men like women to fit into gender roles. So it’s probably not a huge shocker that you can find an impossibly proportioned girl in her underwear cooking on YouTube. If only she were sewing and popping out a baby (without that “ew” swelling in her stomach), we’d really be onto something.
YouTube is a dark, strange place dear readers. A strange place where girls with nice bodies will do anything for your attention. After the jump…whore does laundry in a short slinky dress, German slut unicycles for a crowd, ho eats sausage at a restaurant, and a skank with big boobs buys groceries in a tank-top. Oh Internet…you so classy!
Jun.17.2008 It’s a Wii Fit whore festival!
Want to make a successful YouTube video? Here’s how! Step one: Buy a Nintendo Wii. Step two: Buy Wii fit. Step three: Have vagina. Step four: Don’t be too fat. It’s that easy!
My personal favorite because this girl is attractive, sluttily dressed, and desperate for attention. All are qualities I look for in a woman. They say you look for a woman like your mother.
This one thinks it’s classy because it’s from “Diet.com” so it has to have the vagina talk. Whatever, skip to 51 seconds in.
Jun.02.2008 Lindsay Lohan can’t keep her skirt down
From the MTV Movie Awards…
On the plus side, she’s wearing underwear. On the down side, she’s wearing underwear.
Perhaps that’s how Lindsay ends up in all these less-than-desirable male entanglements. She physically can’t keep her skirt down. So maybe instead of bashing her for whorishness, you should empathize with her pain. She has a serious disability that makes her skirt fly upwardly at the drop of a hat. Which is why the paparazzi are always wearing hats, I presume. Hats with little cards in them that say “Press”. And they say things like, “What’s the scoop, dame?” Oh celebrity photo stalkers, you’re such cards.
[Photojack from the Daily Mail]
Mar.25.2008 Pamela Anderson and Rick Solomon’s love affair has come to an end
Who would have thought that a love built on sex tapes and vacant stares could fall apart like this: Pamela Anderson and Rick Solomon had their marriage annulled.
Anderson, 40, initially filed for divorce last December after two months of marriage.
On February 22, she sought an annulment, citing fraud. On Friday, Salomon, 39, also filed papers seeking an annulment (he, too, checked the box marked “fraud.”)
Neither has explained why they cited fraud.
They wed last October in Las Vegas after one month of dating.
Don’t you have to have not consummated the marriage (i.e. been penis-diddled) to have a marriage annulled? Because there’s no way they didn’t have sex. In fact, if that is the case, I’m pretty sure Pamela Anderson couldn’t get a marriage annulled with any man in her life. The mailman, her limo driver, that guy who installed her satellite dish, Larry King…they’ve all probably gotten a spin at one point or another. Her vagina probably sounds like a haunted house when you open her legs. Just creaking, a musky smell, and a sense of many atrocities having been committed there. Probably slime too. And perhaps a jive-talking ghost who says that the property value’s been “Goin’ a-wayyyyyyy downnnnnah.”
Mar.11.2008 WHOREDIDDLIN DAY TWO: Spitzer’s wife urged to run
In what is now Day Two of the news swirling around possibly-soon-to-be-former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer and his love of the whores, his wife is being urged to leave by friends.
She stood silently, stunned beside her husband, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, as he read a statement of apology to his family Monday afternoon following disclosure of what is believed to be his love tryst with a high-priced prostitute.
But the words failed to soothe Silda Wall Spitzer’s closest friends, who advised her to take the kids and run.
“They were great together — fun, fabulous to be around. There was never even one small inkling of anything like this,” the friend told the New York Daily News. “If I were her, I would call my mother or my best friend and pack my bags and go someplace far away for six months and take my daughters with me.”
Another pal told the News she is “disgusted” Spitzer betrayed his wife of 20 years. “Oh, poor Silda. She is such a wonderful woman. I cannot even imagine this,” the friend said.
Oh please, if every woman left her Governor husband for paying a lot of money for sex with a strange albeit high-class woman, no one would be married. In fact there probably wouldn’t even be a need for beds in America. So let’s slow down.
Plus, it seems like the thing to do, based on previous precedent, would be to stand by your man, wait for things to die down, write a book, go on Oprah, make some scratch, and never have sex ever again. Oh women. You really are like camels with that. Maybe if you put out a little more, your husband wouldn’t be paying 10k for a blumpkin. That’s right, everything bad that happens is YOUR fault! Ha! Take that!
Mar.10.2008 NY Governor Eliot Spitzer doesn’t just like hookers…
He LOVES them. I know, I never cover local politics here, but when I get a news alert from the NY Times saying, “Gov. Eliot Spitzer has informed his most senior administration officials that he had been involved in a prostitution ring, an administration official said this morning,” I HAVE to write about it.
Gov. Eliot Spitzer has informed his most senior administration officials that he had been involved in a prostitution ring, an administration official said this morning.
Mr. Spitzer, who was huddled with his top aides early this afternoon, had hours earlier abruptly canceled his scheduled public events for the day. He is set to make an announcement about 2:15 this afternoon at his Manhattan office.
Mr. Spitzer, a first-term Democrat who pledged to bring ethics reform and end the often seamy ways of Albany, is married with three children.
Just last week, federal prosecutors arrested four people in connection with an expensive prostitution operation. Administration officials would not say that this was the ring with which the governor had become involved.
Haha in that photo above, Spitzer couldn’t POSSIBLY look any more like a man who enjoys the company of a good prostitute. There might even be a tranny hooker underneath the desk servicing him. Great podium usage, if that’s the case.
I really think this is the kind of story that speaks for itself, so I will take this opportunity to point out that Eliot Spitzer is a proud alumnus of my high school! And his kids are going there now! So this is really great for our alumni community! Though I’m assuming he probably wasn’t buying whores at our high school. But man, if he was, I really missed out! All I got was a hefty tuition bill and an occasional pointy-nosed Jewish BJ. Sigh.
