May.07.2008 Suri Cruise continues to suck
Oh ho ho, what a misleading headline! The story here: People are calling Suri Cruise a freak for continuing to bottle feed at age 2.
“Most pediatricians recommend a bottle should be given up by age 1 — almost certainly by 18 months,” Dr. Charlotte Cowan, author of the Dr. Hippo book series, tells Usmagazine.com.
Suri’s constant traveling could play a factor.
“When babies are challenged, their diet is upset, their sleep is upset,” Cowan says. “They will regress back to previous habits … lingering with a bottle is comforting. You could argue that her parents have decided that this is not the time to try to wean her off if they’re traveling frequently.”
Cowan advises Tom and Katie try to “distract [her] with something that might be more appealing, like a sippy cup.”
Jokes Cowan: “Parents are always worried about getting their children off of bottles. I have never seen a child go to college with a bottle!”
Apparently Ms. Cowan didn’t see me in college. Granted, I weaned myself off of the baby bottle by October of freshman year (Mom’s breast milk isn’t as sweet when mailed cross country), but I replaced it with other sucking objects including but not limited to alcohol bottles, lollipops, and of course, male genitals. They all give you some sort of nutrients, I figure.
It just seems like a bit of a mean-spirited and desperate ploy to call out parents and a child for this. We get it, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are weird. Oh man, how absurd are they! Bottle feeding their child! What will they do next? Make her sleep in her crib two months too long? Not rush her into potty training? Oh you celebrities, so eccentric!
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Apr.17.2008 That dude bashing Scientology talks to Tom Cruise
I found this clip somewhat entertaining. It’s an edited version of Tom Cruise’s “Scientology is Great” video mixed with Jason Beghe’s “Scientology Sucks” video.
Anyway the clip is okay but that’s not the main reason I’m posting it. The reason I’m posting it…well, I’ll show you. The email I received from the-totally-a-real-name “Richard Isinyu”
to tips@blogofhilarity.com,
tips@radaronline.com,
tips@gawker.com,
tips@defamer.com,
THAT’S RIGHT BITCHES. I AM THE THE TOP EMAIL OUT OF THOSE FOUR. Sure the name value isn’t comparable and the site traffic is uh…probably also not very comparable…but I AM THE TOP EMAIL ADDRESS AND THUS AM GREATER THAN THE OTHER THREE SITES. COMBINED. WOOOOOOOO CHRIS RULES.
Mar.26.2008 Katie Holmes is a wreck
Katie Holmes apparently is collapsing and such and this is very important news because she’s been in a couple movies and TV shows and currently pretends to accept Tom Cruise’s semen.
When Katie recently lunched at her favorite restaurant, L.A.’s Joan’s on Third, it was obvious that something was terribly wrong. She seemed exhausted, her skin was pale, and she looked feeble and emaciated. “She gave us a weak smile and wave before leaving out the back door,” says an eyewitness at the restaurant. Once outside, a confused and unsteady Katie braced herself against the doorframe before her bodyguard carefully guided her into a waiting SUV.
Dizzy spells like this have become a frighteningly common occurrence for Katie over the past few weeks. As one source explains to Star, Katie has been suffering from splitting headaches that make her see black spots and feel faint. Another problem? Her weight. Although she’s already rail thin, she feels pressure to be even slimmer and is obsessive about dieting.
Katie may never admit it, but sources say her superstar husband may be contributing to the debilitating headaches. His high energy is often hard to keep up with — and that, paired with her intense need to live up to his expectations, is really taking its toll, both mentally and physically.
“Katie doesn’t get enough sleep — and hasn’t for months now,” says one insider. “She’s tired and drained much of the day because Tom is so wired, and they stay awake until after midnight. He has boundless energy, and she just can’t compete.”
To complicate matters even further, while Tom goes off for days at a time (”His rule is ‘You can be with me, but don’t ask about it,’” says a source), Katie is overseeing the interior design of their lavish $35 million Beverly Hills mansion. “To him, the home is a status symbol,” says a source, “so it’s on Katie’s shoulders to pull off something beyond magnificent, something Tom can brag about. She’s giving herself headaches thinking about it and making herself sick.”
Tom Cruise is a shady guy. He’s acting like he’s Pacino in The Godfather with his “don’t ask me about my business,” but in reality, he’s just getting pumped full of thetans by whatever big black E-meter he can get his hands on. Then he gets a hot load of Xenu on his face and does his big stupid Tom Cruise smile and then presumably licks it off because you totally can’t waste such creamy goodness.
It does sound kind of shitty though. She’s probably just drugged up all the time just trying to doze herself out of the reality of the situation. If I had to do that and then raise my alien baby and make sure Tom has like fancy chandeliers, I’d probably be passing out on the street too.
Or maybe she just has the flu and was sick. Whatever. Fuck her, she’s not me.
Mar.06.2008 The March 6 Hot Link orgy
The hottest orgy with a flamboyant bartender
–Learn Flair Bartending and bartend like a man, instead of an alien-fucking-twink like Tom Cruise. [Mac Gs World]
–The top 5 songs you should be playing to mourn Brett Favre’s retirement. Before killing yourself, ideally. [Busted Coverage]
–Hotlanta from Flavor of Love: Illiterate, responds to anything written about her. [Shabooty]
–Do you need an excuse to link to pictures of Lauren Conrad? “No, you don’t,” said my subconscious. [A Socialite's Life]
–Does Patrick Swayze only have five weeks to live? More important question: Do these jeans make me look fat? That has WAY more bearing on my life. [The Superficial]
