Nov.25.2008 What’s going on in this bar?
Via Virus Comix comes this little diddy about the various people you see in a bar (you probably have to click through to read all the small text).
And with that we have the official most depressing comic ever. Depressing in terms of content but also depressing because I got cut out of the comic too. I was featured in this brilliant panel where I was rubbing my hands together malevolently after putting a roofie in some girl’s drink, then going on some soliloquy about the fleetingness of man and how I’m going to solve my various existential crises by ejaculating on the breasts of a woman in a comatose state. It really tugged on the heart strings.
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Jul.14.2008 “World’s oldest blogger” dies, I soldier on
Some 108 year-old Australian lady, credited with being the world’s oldest blogger, died this weekend.
An Australian woman described as the world’s oldest Internet blogger has died at the age of 108 after posting a final message about singing “a happy song” in her nursing home.
Olive Riley “passed away peacefully on July 12 and will be mourned by thousands of Internet friends and hundreds of descendants and other relatives,” a note on her website said.
Riley had posted more than 70 entries on her blog from Woy Woy on the east coast since February last year, sharing her thoughts on modern life and her experiences living through the entire 20th century.
Her last entry as seen on her blog (looks to be down right now) and a mirrored version of it:
“I can’t believe I’ve been here in this nursing home for more than a week.
“How the days have flown, even though I’ve been in bed most of the time. I still feel weak, and can’t shake off that bad cough.
“Penny, who’s in the next bed to mine, had a visit one day this week from her daughter, who’s a professional singer. Guess what happened! She and I sang a happy song, as I do every day, and before long we were joined by several nurses, who sang along too. It was quite a concert!”
It’s always delightful when old people try to make the best of their awful situations and embrace technology and don’t shit themselves and whatever. At the same time though, I’m not sure how a blog about wrinkly balls, broken hips, and Matlock would appeal to me in any way other than the theoretical. Granted, I find many things depressing that aren’t really depressing (for example, this chick has the same birthdate as me…different birth year, you may be surprised to learn), but I fail to see how getting to read the daily ramblings of a woman quickly dying inside and possibly going senile would uplift me. Unless there were sexy pics. Then all bets are off.
Jun.23.2008 “Silly pills” + kids = sex
Are you a parent in Texas in a good mood? Well here’s something to spoil it. Kids in a small Texas town are being drugged and forced into sex shows. Fun!
In the windowless front rooms of a former day care center in a tiny Texas community, children as young as 5 were fed powerful painkillers they knew as “silly pills” and forced to perform sex shows for a crowd of adults.
Two people have already been convicted in the case. Now a third person with ties to the club, previously known in town only as a swingers group, is set to go on trial Monday not far from Mineola, population 5,100.
Patrick Kelly, 41, is charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, tampering with physical evidence and engaging in organized criminal activity.
In all, six adults have been charged in connection with the case, including a parent of the three siblings involved.
Jurors this year deliberated less than five minutes before returning guilty verdicts against the first two defendants, who were accused of grooming the kids for sex shows in “kindergarten” classes and passing off Vicodin as “silly pills” to help the children perform.
How great of a front must this daycare have been? Like, if I were bringing my kids to a daycare, if I sense something even slightly amiss, I’d probably elect to bring them somewhere else. But these people had kids taking drugs and doing sex acts and parents were like “Suuuure! Take my kid!” They probably got the kid back all drugged up and sexed out, all deflated and tired and were like “Wow, this daycare center really gets my kids back on track. I’ve never seen them so sedated! And he even seems to be producing a type of delicious ketchup from his rectum! Thanks daycare without windows!”
And uh, where can one acquire an adult dose of these “silly pills”? Theoretically. I feel like I wouldn’t even have to slide it into a girl’s drink, I could probably go “Hey, silly pills!” and she’d be like “Sounds like a blast! They’re so silly!” It’s brilliant marketing, really.
