Apr.17.2008 The April 17 Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy that distracts you from its big pregnant belly

–Jessica Alba is pretending to still be sexy even though she’s the size of a manatee. [On 205th]

–You know how I know you’re white trash? You’re teaching your kid how to do a beer bong (w/ video). [Busted Coverage]

–Philadelphia 76ers dancers know what to do with all that junk, all that junk inside their respective lower halves. [Don Chavez]

–Barack Obama has got game. [Mac G'S World]

–Susan Sarandon still has boobs. GRANDMA NOOOOOO…COVER THOSE UP PLEASE! YOU’RE EMBARRASSING US! [WWTDD]

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Mar.27.2008 Freeganism is like homelessness for people with homes

Have you heard of “freeganism”? It involves digging through trash for food and other assorted shit as a way of “sticking it to the man”. Presumably one coffee rind at a time.

“A lot of perfectly good food is thrown away,” says Nelson, a spokeswoman for Freegan.info, a New York City group that promotes “freeganism,” which eschews conventional commerce in favor of a lifestyle that uses minimal resources.

Freegans try not to buy things new — not even food.

Jumping into a garbage bin may sound scary, but Nelson, 52, who lives in Brooklyn, says it’s no big deal. Humans, she says, are “hardwired to be foragers.”

If you go, she advises, bring a friend (in case the lid closes on you) and wear gloves to protect your hands from glass and other sharp objects. Ask your local police department first whether it’s OK — some cities have criminalized Dumpster diving. Don’t salvage things that need to be refrigerated or show traces of mold, and thoroughly wash any food you’ve taken from a Dumpster before consuming. It’s also a good idea to conduct a smell test of any food you may take; if it smells bad, it probably is spoiled and should be avoided.

Nelson says freeganism has nothing to do with income. She says many divers, herself included, have at least moderate incomes: “It’s really about boycotting the consumerist system.”

But not everything can be found in a Dumpster. Nelson admits that some things must be acquired the old-fashioned way: at the store. Like cooking oil — “You can never find enough of that.”

Yeah this is pretty cool. In fact, I refuse to buy into Big Condom’s “Only use packaged, correctly placed condoms” paranoia. Why can’t I get my condoms from the garbage bin around the corner? They’re already nice and stretchy (perfect for my extra large genitals) and come pre-lubricated! And the AIDS problem gives it a fun Russian Roulette-like quality!

I’m kind of sick of people pretending like they’re so disenfranchised by the man. I had a black friend who went to my fairly elite private high school then went to an extremely impressive Ivy League college and she would still bitch about how “whitey was holding her down”. It’s the same difference with these rich white douches digging through trash. Like you’re a rich white person. Stop bitching about capitalism. Fucking commies. I hope your dirty rotting banana is worth the fact that I want to kick you in your face. YOUR FACE.