Sep.08.2008 Stephen Colbert’s DNA is going into space
Some asinine project to collect famous (and famous-ish) people’s DNA and send it into space has been getting press for some reason. Anyway, Stephen Colbert is now one of the people taking part.
Should this world ever cease to exist, Stephen Colbert will live on.
The comedian’s DNA will be digitized and sent to the International Space Station, Comedy Central was to announce Monday. In October, video game designer Richard Garriott will travel to the station and deposit Colbert’s genes for an “Immortality Drive.”
“I am thrilled to have my DNA shot into space, as this brings me one step closer to my lifelong dream of being the baby at the end of 2001,” Colbert said in a statement, referring to the 1968 landmark science fiction film “2001: A Space Odyssey.”
“In the unlikely event that Earth and humanity are destroyed, mankind can be resurrected with Stephen Colbert’s DNA,” Garriott said in a statement. “Is there a better person for us to turn to for this high-level responsibility?”
Colbert is the latest in a line of folks taking part, so far including Digg founder Kevin Rose, wrestler Matt Morgan (immortality needs performance enhancing drugs too), Olympic gymnast Scott Johnson, and that dude who did the song Cliffs of Dover, Eric Johnson. So don’t worry, the future will be safe with a bunch of guys mixed together to make a new society that is witty, nerdy, athletic, kind of gay, and capable of playing very difficult Guitar Hero songs.
I’ve tried to shoot my DNA into space several times, but usually (at best), it ends up hitting the ceiling and dripping back down onto me, making me feel like a third rate star of a bukkake film. Sigh. One day my testes will have the propulsion needed. One day.
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Jun.24.2008 The Cookie Monster was on Stephen Colbert
So I just caught up with Thursday’s episode of The Colbert Report and holy shit am I sad I didn’t get to this sooner. Colbert discussed the recent study that showed that fruit had usurped cookies as the #1 snack for kids. And then accused the Cookie Monster of pushing a pro-fruit agenda. So imagine his surprise when the Cookie Monster made a guest appearance to rebut!
Nothing I say here would possibly be funnier so yeah…fruit is for fags.
