Sep.09.2008 Ric Flair’s family is fucked up
I for one am stunned that a professional wrestler seems to have a completely messed up home life. Ric Flair recently lost his wife to divorce, his daughter got tased and arrested, and now he’s sporting a black eye as a result of her boyfriend.
The daughter of former wrestling champ Ric Flair is accused of assaulting a police officer, The Charlotte Observer is reporting on its website this morning from NewsChannel 36.
Police responded to a fight at the apartment of 22-year-old Ashley Fliehr over the weekend in Chapel Hill. Officers say Ric Flair, his daughter and another man got into a fight.
Police say Fliehr didn’t obey commands and that she kicked an officer. A Taser gun was used to subdue her.
No other details were available.
I bet Ric was probably acting all wrestler-y with the boyfriend, trying to chop him and yelling “WHOOOO” and then, as he insisted to stop the altercation to get his bedazzled wrestling robe, the boyfriend just clocked him in the eye. Oh if only Tully Blanchard and the rest of the Four Horsemen could have been there to, I dunno, stomp the floor and pretend to punch the boyfriend while he looks on nonplussed. That’d stop him cold!
You have to admire the fact that he still felt compelled to go out and get some tail amidst all of this though. That is a man who really likes the ladies. He just doesn’t like raising them properly. Albeit slightly better than Chris Benoit did as a parent. So, see, we’re working on it.
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Sep.04.2008 Running over ladies will not make them want to bed you
Some guy tried to get some foxy ladies at a doughnut shop in California. Unfortunately, they rejected him, so he responded like any logical person might…by trying to run all three of them down with his car.
A Pasadena, Calif. man has been charged with trying to run down three women who spurned his advances at Newport Beach.
Prosecutors said Wednesday that Bryan Curiel faces life in prison if convicted of several felony charges, including attempted murder.
Farrah Emami, spokeswoman for the Orange County district attorney, says the women rejected Curiel’s advances inside a doughnut shop Sunday and told him to leave them alone.
When they had left the shop, Curiel allegedly drove at least 50 mph toward the women and three of their friends before crashing into several concrete bench
Ha yeah what a dumbass. Doesn’t he know that you only run them down after sex? I learned that from GTA! Did you also know the cheat code to make a woman have an orgasm is up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, select? Yep, learned that in GTA too! Girls are easy when you learn about them in digital form.
This guy also seems to lack the fundamental ability to take advantage of his surroundings. Why get all bent out of shape about these girls? What, you wanted to have sex with them? Dude…you’re surrounded by God’s vagina…the DONUT! Donuts won’t yell at you or make you feel like less of a man. They will love you and, if you feel so inclined, taste delicious in your mouth. You can even introduce yourself to a jelly donut and pretend it’s a lady on her period!
Yes, my wife is a donut. And I’m proud. Damned proud.
Jun.20.2008 Megan Fox is sassy
Jeremy Piven hit on Megan Fox. Aaaaand…failure.
Jeremy Piven was bent on meeting “Transformers” hottie Megan Fox in the greenroom at Spike TV’s Guy’s Choice Awards, airing on Sunday. “I don’t know you, but I should,” said Piven, staring at her like she was a lamb chop. He went on: “I know you’re getting an award.” Said an unimpressed Fox: “Do you even know which one?” The “Entourage” star was ready to answer, but she’d already walked away.
I think you have to admire Jeremy Piven’s “douchebag game”. He just plays the part of being so above it all. But it takes more than that to get to felch a sexy lass like Megan Fox. It takes skill, grace, and pizazz. Also a great career, endless charisma, and a real sense that you’re going places. Kind of like Brian Austin Green has.
That said, I love Megan Fox and would carry her children. Like, I’d allow her to implant a child in me like that Schwarzenegger movie where he opted to not blow up aliens violently but rather carry a parasitic lifeform in his stomach. I don’t remember how it ended, but I assumed he ended up fighting the thing called “baby” at the end in a violent bloodbath and some witty rejoiner like, “Looks like we have a fourth trimester abortion.” Man, movies are fun.
