OMG LADIESSSSSS IT IS THE DAY WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FORRRRRR. Carrie, Samantha, that dykey one who’s actually a dyke, and the kind of cute brunette whose character sucks are all back for one last romp filled with shoes, sex with guys way too hot for them, and boredom. But the good news…Sarah Jessica Parker turns in the finest equestrian performance since that horse that played Seabiscuit.

And fortunately, if people say it, a Web site is made for it. Meet SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeAHorse.com, arguably THE source for all your SJP/horse comparison photos. It seems extra timely since today, everywhere I look is Sarah Jessica Parker’s neighing face, taunting me. “GO SEE MY MOVIE EEEEEHHHAWWWWWW”…wait is that a donkey? “BRRRRR SEE MY MOVIE”…hmm, might be more of a cold horse. I dunno, fuck you guys, you know how a horse sounds.

Anyway enjoy the movies bitches and homos.

From one of the premieres of the Sex and the City movie…

Never have I so desperately wished that a photo was the first in a series of a flipbook animation. Would it have killed them to have someone in the car ready to pounce? Or perhaps had it on a slight slope (with a running start, of course) and a convenient error of leaving the emergency brake off?

Anyway the movie’s getting tepid/not awful reviews. I care approximately as much as I would if you got hit by a bus. Like yeah, well, that’s something to know, but it really doesn’t affect me in any way.

[Gawker got robbed here]

I would pay approximately negative $370,000 dollars. But some Japanese chick has decided it’s worth about $52,000 to attend the Sex and the City premiere.

How much would you pay to join the stars of Sex and the City on the red carpet at the premiere of the movie?

One woman from Japan won Oxfam’s auction to attend the New York event with Kristin Davis.

The winning bid? $52,100 – which goes entirely to the international relief and development organization.

The winner, who found out about the auction from an interview with Davis in last week’s Us Weekly, plans to go to the premiere with her fiance.

“Oxfam’s mission is to alleviate poverty and injustice by helping people learn skills and create lives,” Davis explained to Us. “I just got back from Africa and saw firsthand that we’re making a long-term difference. It gave me a sense of satisfaction.”

You know what’s a better use for $52,000? Building a giant mallet that is controlled via a remote control attached to your retina that will smash you on the head and spray confectioner’s sugar on you after contact. But why would you do that? God you rich people are so ridiculous.