May.09.2008 Now I love the Coffee Bean
Yesterday, we talked about how we received a publicist email talking about how Miley Cyrus loves the Coffee Bean. Included in that pitch was an offer for free product and FREE HIGH-RES COFFEE BEAN IMAGES. Well now, half of that bargain has been lived up to. And my expectations have been EXCEEDED. Prepare to fight me to the death for the love of the Coffee Bean, Miley Cyrus.
Ooh check out how dripping wet you are. God I just want to run my tongue up and down your body, winding up inside your froth hole. Mmm that whipped cream looks like soft serve ice cream. For something so refreshingly cold, you are so hot baby.
I like you even more than your friend. You’re lighter, which appeals to my racism. I just want to stick my genitals inside your froth hole. Will you let me? Yeah you will. You’re a dirty frappuccino aren’t you? You like when I smack your bottom, don’t you? SAY MY NAME COFFEE BEAN, SAY MY NAAAAAME.
Yes it’s that easy to get me to shill a product (and, ostensibly, have sex with it). Entertaining, intentionally or not, email + high-res images + free stuff = Me being a whore! See what you missed out on, advertisers??
Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.
May.08.2008 Miley Cyrus likes the Coffee Bean!
Well, I like Miley Cyrus. I like coffee (not really, but let’s go with it). So when will a publicist combine these two loves for me? OMG! This is an email I just received!
She may be in hot water for her controversial photo in Vanity Fair, but Miley Cyrus is staying cool with beverages from The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf ®!
It has been reported that the catering crew on the set of the “The Hannah Montana Movie” film shoot in Tennessee requested that The Coffee Bean send a supply of the singing sensation’s favorite drinks. Miley requested the no sugar added, Carmel Ice Blended® and the Double Vanilla Latte drink mixes, favorites that she is frequently spotted drinking around Hollywood from the iconic purple straw.
Please let us know if you are interested in receiving samples of some of The Coffee Bean’s famous beverages or if you need high-res images of Miley’s favorite drinks.
Okay, I’m not going to lie. At first, I was going to be mean and be like, “Haha what a stupid email!” But I REALLY want free samples and I REALLY REALLY want high-res images of iced coffee. I bet the coffee’s looking all slutty, little beads of sweat dripping off it. Its lid is saying “no no” but its body is saying “yes yes.” Oh and the hot coffee’s probably got steam just bursting out of its top. That little lid can barely contain all the frothy goodness within. Oh yeahhhhh.
Seriously, please send me this stuff immediately Coffee Bean PR people. Or YOU WILL INCUR MY WRATH.
Apr.08.2008 Publicists continue to pretend Chace Crawford isn’t gay
Look, seriously, I get it okay? Chace Crawford totally doesn’t enjoy the company of men in his butt and enjoys sex with beautiful women. Stop with your high-profiled publicity placements telling me that!
SHORTLY after breaking up with Carrie Underwood via text message, “Gossip Girl” heartthrob Chace Crawford is rebounding with the show’s newest cast member, Michelle Trachtenberg. Our spies saw Crawford and Trachtenberg at SoHo hideout Upstairs “flirting heavily” early Saturday. Said the onlooker, “They were all over each other. She was drinking a beer and snuggling up to him.”
She must have blown a guy recently because the only reason Chace Crawford would snuggle up to a woman is if he smelled a fine dose of freshly leaked semen on her breath. It’s like he’s a smoke detector. Only instead of smoke, he hones in on the sweet sweet scents of man love.
It’s kind of ridiculous though that this guy who’s moderately famous, like seriously he’s only done this one show, continues to get his every “dating” move covered. Even his clandestine ones like how he’s totally vigorously fucking JC Chasez. I get we’re hard up for news…believe me, you can see here how hard up for news I am…but come on. COME ON.
In the end it is the public who decides if the diamond watches are as in as swiss army watches or not. Similarly breitling watches and the swatch watches get always accepted by the hoi polloi, and therefore can be safely used as pocket watches too.
