Wow this is like Reese’s Peanut Butter cups…”You got your see-through tops in my ‘I’m not fat’ story!” “No you got your ‘I’m not fat’ story in my see-through top pics!” It’s the best of both worlds, because Eva Longoria wants you to know she’s happy with the couple extra pounds she’s gained…she likes being curvy.

Eva Longoria isn’t paying attention to comments about her weight — because she is happy with her new curves.

The Desperate Housewives star — who piled on the pounds for her role as Gabrielle Solis in the hit TV show — insists she loves her figure; and only works out for fun.

She explains, “I don’t feel any pressure to look a certain way and get back in shape. I work out because it makes me feel more energized and have more energy throughout the day. And I do it for health benefits. Not for the superficial reasons.

“It is great you get to stay in shape and look better but I’m not obsessed with it. It is not at the forefront of my mind.”

Huh, and here I was, thinking she looked pregnant and it turns out that she just reeeeally liked ice cream and candy bars dipped in lemur fat. Who knew?

She does have a pretty tough life though so I could see how that silly “going to the gym” thing wouldn’t be at the forefront of her mind any more. For example, she has to walk around and buy stuff and let Tony Parker ejaculate on her. Very stressful. Especially because he always insists that she “swallow him like a crepe”. Oh French people, you just love those little rolled up pancakes don’t you?

Ever wonder why you find yourself with the wrong guy ladies? Turns out you may not just be stupid, but rather affected by your birth control pills.

Birth control pills could screw up a woman’s ability to sniff out a compatible mate, a new study finds.

While several factors can send a woman swooning, including big brains and brawn, body odor can be critical in the final decision, the researchers say. That’s because beneath a woman’s flowery fragrance or a guy’s musk the body sends out aromatic molecules that indicate genetic compatibility.

Major histocompatibility complex (MHC) genes are involved in immune response and other functions, and the best mates are those that have different MHC smells than you. The new study reveals, however, that when women are on the pill they prefer guys with matching MHC odors.

“The results showed that the preferences of women who began using the contraceptive pill shifted towards men with genetically similar odors,” Roberts said.

This study really opened my eyes. Here I was thinking that the only type of pill that impaired women’s judgment were the ones I bought from that dude at a frat party but apparently my drug dealer Sparky was blatantly false-advertising. It’s shameful how much they get away with.

Anyway this is a genetic thing so there’s no real way to take advantage of it men, so don’t go running around dipping your genitals in tuna yet. Unless you have a cat. Then we call that love.

These photos are from something called the “Whaleman Foundation Benefit Dinner,” an event seemingly named for helping whales but it could also be named for Eva Longoria’s expanding waistline. Why do women always have to try to be so coy when they’re pregnant, like I’m not going to be able to tell or something. Even if I’m not totally sure, you’re still taking a trip to ol’ Doc Marten just to be safe, so you might as well just come clean. It’s better for everyone involved.

The bustiest foreign correspondent one can ask for, Lara Logan, was not only disgraced a couple weeks back by her whorish ways in Iraq, but now she’s gotten knocked up by one of the dudes she was stepping out with.

Lara Logan, the chief foreign affairs correspondent for CBS News, tells The Washington Post she is pregnant, and the father is a married federal contractor whom she met while stationed in Iraq.

Logan’s relationship with Joseph Burkett - who’s in the midst of a divorce from wife Kimberly, with whom he has a 3-year-old daughter - has made media headlines, including the front page of the New York Post.

Logan is going through a divorce from estranged husband Jason Siemon, a Chicago-based energy lobbyist whom she married in 1998.

“Nobody likes to read about themselves like that, especially the way it’s been sensationalized,” Logan, 37, told The Washington Post. “I hated it. But I’m just going to rise above it and keep going.”

Logan, whose pregnancy was unplanned, told the newspaper her due date is in January, and she’s “looking forward to being a mom.”

Since I’m a media expert, let me key you in on a little secret. “Whose pregnancy was unplanned” is always code for “couldn’t resist the lure of skin on skin and a load in her belly.” And, often but not always, “tragically lost the child” is code for “she ‘fell’ down the stairs when her lover ‘lost his grip.’” At least in my case. I can’t help it, my palms get so a-sweaty!

Anyway though I guess I can’t be surprised that Lara Logan is so insatiable over there in Iraq. There’s really nothing more of an aphrodisiac then sand, guys whose ballbags smell like onions, and suicide bombings. It’s just like a candlelit dinner in Paris!

From..I dunno, a farm let’s say.

I have many problems with this image. For one, pregnant nipples: I don’t know whether to suckle them for eroticism or hunger. Two, what is that shit on her head? It’s like a rope or some sort of Native American princess crown. And three, she’s huge. Isn’t she like…a month pregnant? She’s built like a hippopotamus who is not only hungry, but also hungry. Ugh. Babies. Stop ravishing the youth of my starlets. YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM SCARLETT JOHANSSON . SO HELP ME. SHE’S NOT BUILT TO BOUNCE BACK FROM SUCH THINGS.

[More images at Egotastic]