Oct.30.2008 What if political ads were made by prominent directors?

I usually abhor parody videos but these are pretty well made. Check out this collection of political ads for John McCain, “made by” Diablo Cody (Juno), David Lynch (Twin Peaks), and M. Night Shyamalan (Twist Crap parts 1-4).

Nothing really to add here other than the fact that I just thought these were extremely well made and, thus, worth your time. And my train made me like an hour late today so I don’t have time to “think” or “research” a post. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Check out Comedy.com for more well-done funny videos. They’re doing a good job of filtering the crap out for lazy people like you.

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Sep.12.2008 The Princess should be less of a bitch to Mario

This is like a day old now but whatever, I was going to post it yesterday and screw GoDaddy for denying you that. Anyway, this clip is one of the ones being released by Seth MacFarlane’s new Web cartoon project.

The Princess is kind of right…it’s not like it’s Mario’s place to say what she does with her body. If some fat Soviet chick with a beard rescued my Prince-ly ass from a dragon turtle dude, I’d be like “Awesome, thanks” but I wouldn’t really be willing to bring her back for a romp on my castle floor.

Bonus Mario video because it’s Friday and utterly transparent that I’m posting this out of a lack of news…a strategy session with Mario villains and Bowser:

Aug.07.2008 ALF because it’s a slow day

I’ve been saving this bad boy for a slow news day and there’s literally NOTHING to post. No news, no celeb crap, no sexy images that wouldn’t be completely gratuitous so screw it. Here’s another alternate TV intro, much like the DuckTales and Golden Girls ones seen here before, based on ALF. Might be slightly NWS (no nudity but some odd themes) for some of you but watch it if you can. It’s absolutely worth it.

And if anyone wants to do something entertaining or something to make news that’d be awesome. Perhaps ripping Jessica Biel’s top off or, I dunno, making some robot that breakdances and makes delicious ice cream would help. Just kicking ideas around here. I’m flexible as to what you do to make my job easier.

Aug.01.2008 LOLmontaukmonster

Everybody’s all about the Montauk Monster. So why not attach some captions to him?

Jul.22.2008 DuckTales just got sexier

I don’t want to spoil this video for you, but it’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. If you’re a fan of DuckTales or ever wanted to swim in gold coins like Scrooge McDuck (side note: it’s physically impossible and hurts quite a bit when you dive in).

BONUS - A different kind of creepy alternate intro for Golden Girls. All Hail Gingerbread Bea Arthur:

Best things you’ll see all day. Guaranteed. Or your money back. But you paid none. So too bad baby.

Jun.05.2008 The hottest jam of the summer, for real

So I heard this on Opie and Anthony the other day and I just remembered that the world (i.e. the world as far as I reach, so like me and a couple dogs) needs to see it. It’s a song for the ladies.

This is hip-hop how it was meant to be performed. A phat beat, some ill rhymes, a discussion of genitals. It’s really urban music distilled to a science. And clearly any white guy can do it. That means you, yes you (and by you, I mean me) can be an international rap superstar! Which is good because it seems like black guys are getting all the breaks these days.

May.27.2008 “No Country for Gay Men” is simple but hilarious

Okay so I’m shaking off my lazy holidayness (and subsequent lobsterized shoulders from the Scary Power of the Sun). But I just came across this from Buzzfeed and, for whatever reason, it’s ungodly funny. The gist: A gay impression overdubbed on Javier Bardem’s voice in No Country for Old Men.

Clearly this is the finest thing to ever happen to gay culture. It must be fun when you’re a gay person and literally every person has an impression of you and the lifestyle you choose. And they’re all flamboyant and lispy and frighteningly accurate and, man, I just can’t imagine that makes you feel good. On the plus side though, it’s really easy for you to get fucked in the ass efficiently by another handsome gentleman and you all seem to have great abs. But then…AIDS. Point being, I’m not sure whether you gay guys are winning at life or losing.