Kirk Douglas likes to give back to the community. Take a look at this photo from a recent playground donation.

The photo caption:

Actor Kirk Douglas tries-out a playground slide at Lillian Elementary School in Los Angeles Wednesday, May 28, 2008, after he and his wife donated their 400th playground renovation to schools in the Los Angeles Unified School District. The 91-year-old Douglas and his wife Anne have donated a renovation a week over an 11-year period beginning in 1997. The couple provides a grant of $25,000 per playground, with the school’s parents or supporters matching the amount in money or services.

But that just seems shortsighted. Marketers, take heed, you now have an image to use for an exciting new campaign. In fact, if you have any product marketed towards seniors, feel free to steal this:

Slide into Senility!

You’re welcome. Royalty checks should be made out to Chris Is Awesome, Incorporated. We also do covers for porn films. It’s all about diverse offerings.

Today’s sign that the world is broke and depressing: one in 10 old people need to borrow money for everyday expenses.

The economic downturn is hitting roughly one in 10 middle-aged and older Americans especially hard, compelling them to borrow money for everyday living expenses and to seek help from family, friends or charities, according to a survey released Tuesday by the AARP.

n the telephone survey of 1,002 adults 45 and older, nearly four in 10 said they had helped a child pay bills or expenses. Among retirees, one-third said they’d helped their children pay bills. Eight percent said they’d helped a parent pay bills or expenses. The survey’s margin of sampling error was plus or minus 3 percentage points.

One-third of survey participants said they stopped putting money into their 401(k) or retirement account and 14 percent said they had cut back on their medications.

I don’t think I’m alone in saying that if you can’t just do this stuff on your own, maybe you should just die already because the only benefit of having you people around is that you can occasionally loan me money. But if you’re in the hole and stuff AND you’re walking all slow and being kind of annoying…well…maybe it’s time for you to “forget” your medication.

Also, you know what’s gross? Old man balls. It’s kind of unrelated, but like…ew. I’m hoping mine stay forever young and ebullient.