Video games are always a popular target/failsafe to pass the buck and accountability for a crime committed. But a Mortal Kombat murder just seems odd.

A Johnstown teenager has been ordered to stand trial after a 7-year-old girl in his care died in what police said was a beating that imitated the “Mortal Kombat” video game.

A Weld County judge ruled Friday there was enough evidence to warrant a trial for Lamar Roberts, 17, accused of child abuse resulting in the Dec. 6 death of Zoe Garcia and child abuse resulting in serious injury. A trial date will be set after a June 20 court hearing.

Zoe died of blunt-force trauma to the head after she was hit, kicked and slammed to the floor as the teens reportedly re-enacted the video game, authorities have alleged. The two were baby-sitting while the sisters’ mother, Dana Trujillo, 30, was at work.

Roberts later told a friend, Janee Cardenas, “he was doing martial arts on her (Zoe) and that his hands were registered weapons,” Halldorson said.

It’s always pretty smart to brag in really lame ways after killing a 7 year-old. It’s unfortunate that this incident happened because I bet that this Lamar Roberts was a real winner. He could have been many great things. Like a test subject for new medicines. Or perhaps the manager of a poorly trafficked Taco Bell. Truly a shame that he will probably be in jail forever.

I do find it odd though to emulate Mortal Kombat of all games. That game came out like 12 years ago, maybe we should update what we’re going to try to do when murdering people. Or at least be more clever when imitating an old game. For example, the next time I kill someone, I’m going to paint them blue, eat a “power pellet” (not sure yet if it’ll be shrooms, meth, or E), and then eat them alive. Then I’ll wash it down with a nice cherry, ideally one the size of my body. Then you can call me the Donkey Kong Killer, because you’re not too good at getting references.

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The hottest orgy with the best beer pong

–The best beer pong table ever made (w/ video). [Tasty Booze]

–Large breasts are pretty silly. [Banned in Hollywood]

–Danica Patrick is continued proof that women just aren’t good drivers (w/ video). [Don Chavez

--OJ killed Nicole? NO WAY. Hold on. NO. Come on! [On205th]

–Heidi Klum doesn’t look too good in a bikini. [Egotastic]

OJ Simpson is in the running for the next season of The Celebrity Apprentice. That’s if NBC and Donald Trump are willing to bite the bullet. No, knife. Bite the knife.

IT looks like there could be “killer” ratings in store for TV’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” if OJ Simpson gets his way. Page Six has learned the creepy double-murder acquittee has asked Donald Trump to allow him to appear on the top-rated NBC show next season.

“Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious,” our source said. “There’s a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson.”

See, they’re looking at this all the wrong way. Never mind the “heat” associated with OJ. That shit was 13 years ago now. Once something is 13 years old, it’s fair game. Murder accusations, tragedies, girls, it’s the Rule of 13.

If it were my show, I’d play it up. I’d have OJ doing a marketing campaign, complete with a commercial for special guest company Ginsu! Or he’d have to do some sort of business that involved slashing the throats of pigs. Or perhaps a modeling agency focusing solely on white blond models. Really, the possibilities are endless! And if you do the modeling agency one, there’s probably a better than 60% chance that one of them will end up with a black eye and OJ will be standing there with swollen knuckles and an “Aw shucks” look on his face, perhaps looking down and dragging his feet in the dirt. RATINGS!

Did you see Semi Pro? Well, you’re not alone in answering “no” to that question. But I did. And I will forever remember Rocky the Bear as making one of the only humorous contributions to the film, as seen in the video below. Anyway, Rocky the Bear just killed a man.

A grizzly bear that appeared in a recent Will Ferrell movie killed a 39-year-old trainer with a bite to his neck Tuesday and had to be subdued with pepper spray.

Three experienced handlers were working with the bear at Randy Miller’s Predators in Action facility when the bear bit 39-year-old Stephan Miller on the neck, said San Bernardino County sheriff’s spokeswoman Cindy Beavers. Stephan Miller is Randy’s cousin, she said.

The center’s staff used pepper spray to subdue and contain the bear and there were no other injuries, she said.

Calls seeking comment from Randy Miller, a stuntman and operator of Predators in Action, were not immediately returned Tuesday evening. Randy Miller doubled for Ferrell in the bear wrestling match, according to the center’s site.

In a February interview, Randy Miller called Rocky “the best working bear in the business,” the San Bernardino Sun reported on its Web site Tuesday.

The Department of Fish and Game will decide the bear’s fate after an investigation, Tiffany Swantek, a spokeswoman for the Big Bear Sheriff’s Station, told the San Bernardino Sun Tuesday.

Decide the bear’s fate? How about you just let his fate be…oh, I don’t know, TO GO BE A FUCKING BEAR IN THE WILDERNESS? Maybe we shouldn’t get mad at a bear when we try to make him into some trained animal when all he wants to do is eat salmon, steal picnic baskets, and scratch his anus on large trees. It’s like when you try to train a woman, then you get surprised when she does things like “vote” and “go shopping”. Sure, you can do all you can, but an animal’s just going to revert to instincts sometimes.

I think people need to speak up and not let this overly powerful Department of Fish and Game take Rocky the Bear from us. He was led on! And hungry! Fuck, I’d maul a trainer if I hadn’t eaten lunch by 2PM. SAVE ROCKY THE BEAR! SAVE ROCKY THE BEAR!

Some 3rd graders in special ed classes in Georgia plotted to kill their teacher, but were “thwarted” by school officials. Story of the year? Perhaps.

The students allegedly brought to school a broken steak knife, a roll of duct tape, handcuffs, ribbon and a crystal paperweight in a bid to kill their teacher, Belle Carter, the paper reports.

“We did not hear anybody say they intended to kill her, but could they have accidentally killed her? Absolutely,” Tanner said. “We feel like if they weren’t interrupted, there would have been an attempt. Would they have been successful? We don’t know.”

The children, ages 8 and 9, were apparently mad at the teacher because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair, Tanner said.

“It’s our understanding that she did in fact discipline one of the students, and they did not like it, he told FOX News. “After that, she began to plot revenge on the teacher.”

Tanner told FOX News not all of the students were in on all the details of the allegedly plot.

“We believe that some of them knew the entire plot and some of them were … just asked to bring other items in but they might not have realized the entire plot,” he said.

That last quote is kind of amazing in every way. Some of them didn’t realize? No way! I find that hard to believe.

A broken steak knife, roll of duct tape, handcuffs, ribbon and a crystal paperweight? Wow, they’re like a troupe of retarded little MacGuyvers. Or maybe they just brought that in for lunch. Who can tell! Retarded kids are so savvy!

Anyway, frankly, if you get outfoxed by a group of retarded third graders, I’m pretty sure you deserve to die. That’s like standing under a cartoon anvil that weighs two tons. Sure, that coyote looked trustworthy and handsome, but you should know better. You really should.