Jul.01.2008 Lauren Conrad will surprise you

Via Gawker, some Glamour magazine blogger met up with Lauren Conrad of The Hills fame. And the results were…not at all interesting.

Other general impressions of Lauren-in-real-life:

- As with all celebs, seemed way shorter/thinner in person. Also, tanner.

- Seemingly really sweet/almost a little shy. I wasn’t getting stuck-up vibes. When I needed to find the ladies’ room, she walked me there, despite 10 publicists who could have done so instead.

- Shockingly well-spoken considering the inane dialogue we generally see her involved in on The Hills. Recited tons of stats from memory when describing the new m.powerment initiative (proceeds from certain Mark accessories are going to organizations that prevent violence against young women).

People have been reporting on this like it’s groundbreaking news. “Wow, she didn’t like, drool on herself and talk about shoes the whole time.” Yeah, I’m completely surprised that a reality show, especially one with the journalistic integrity of The Hills, might be slightly manipulating footage to hide that Lauren Conrad isn’t a dummy. In other shockers, I find her quite attractive and would have vigorous, acrobatic sex with her. In fact, I’d probably kick my mother in the vagina with great velocity to have sex with Lauren Conrad. Hell, I’d probably hit her in the face with a canoe paddle to sniff Lauren Conrad’s underwear. Not gonna lie, I’d even throw a tiger at her to lick a magazine with Lauren Conrad on the cover. This might say more about my relationship with my mother than anything, now that I think about it.

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