Nov.14.2008 This reporter “can’t hear shit”
Reporters cursing happens a lot. It’s kind of overkill at this point. But what makes this clip special is the absolute horror coming from the faces of the anchor when the reporter on site claims that she “can’t hear shit”.
It’s tough. She’s just a reporter trying to make it in this crazy work-a-day world but she can’t hear anything. How can you report when you can’t hear? She’s the victim in all of this. With her dirty little mouth. Yeah, you’re a dirty girl spicy Latina reporter. You just love to curse and report the news. Yeahhhhh use that as a microphone. Mmm, now talk into it. Tell me the winning lotto numbers…17…3…5…OHHHHHHH.
Aaaand we’re done.
[clip via our friend Jimmy Traina at the awesome SI.com's Hot Clicks]
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Sep.09.2008 Meghan McCain wants you to ignore that whole Bristol Palin thing
Meghan McCain is promoting some new book and she looks kind of like a fatso in some photos (I called her Mooghan once) but kind of sexy in others so I’m going to err on the side of caution and write about her here. She has problems with the way the media is covering Bristol Palin and her large breasts…er, pregnancy. Her pregnancy.
“When I was 14 or 15,” Meghan, the eldest daughter of Republican presidential candidate John McCain and wife Cindy, told Today’s Meredith Vieira, “a reporter asked my father if I had been pregnant at 14, would he allow me to – how would he feel about me having an abortion. And my father said, it would be my own decision, and, obviously, that created controversy.”
Her own reaction at the time, she recalled, was “I just can remember being 14 and seeing ‘Meghan McCain Abortion’ on the [news] crawl on CNN – those words together.”
As for her reaction now, “I still think it’s inappropriate, and for me, obviously with everything that’s gone on with Bristol Palin, I just think privacy is privacy when it comes to family,” she said.
Contrasting her current position with Bristol Palin’s, McCain – an aspiring fashion designer who in 2004 registered as an independent and voted for Democrat John F. Kerry, she told the Los Angeles Times in February – declared, “In this setting, I have chosen to put myself out there. I write a blog. I am actively campaigning, so I am fair game.”
Conversely, she said, “A child of 14, 15, a 17-year-old person, who is not actively campaigning, I don’t feel is fair game.”
It’s true, it’s a totally different scenario. Meghan McCain has the good sense to take it on the face or the chest while Bristol Palin is like “NO YOU HOCKEY PLAYING STUD, I WANT IT ALL IN ME!!!! MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A TWINKIE!!!!” Pretty dignified for the daughter of a major national political figure, I’d say. Then Sarah Palin heard about this and was like “Where did you get this sort of behavior from?!?! ANSWER ME DAMMIT” and Bristol was like “I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!!!” and runs away crying. Then Sarah Palin knowingly winks to no one in particular and says “I know you did :)”. Aww yay for imagination!
Aug.27.2008 Reminder: Reporters are all whores
This is old but I just saw it on Reddit and it’s hilarious, so why not…Some reporter for the FOX affiliate in NYC was reporting from Randall’s Island (a wacky island off of Manhattan with mini golf and an asylum) and she got a dollar bill shoved down her shirt.
As unfair is it is for women to be all treated like strippers and prostitutes, it’s pretty hilarious to see a professional woman treated like a stripper and a prostitute. Alls I’m saying is that if you don’t to get dollar bills shoved down your bra, maybe you need to not give people lap dances right before going on camera.
In related news, I’m not opposed to receiving dollar bills down the front of my pants. Just saying. I’m new media, I have no dignity.
Jul.15.2008 Laura Ingraham isn’t good at news
This is seriously a tour de force of cuntery. Laura Ingraham, popular radio talk host and host of the recently-canceled Fox News show “Just In,” doesn’t seem to be good at hiring a staff or being a news host/human being.
It’s a long video but it’s worth it. She should win the Emmy for Biggest Cunt and Host Most Likely to Have Gotten at Least Seven Bodily Fluids Put into Her Coffee. Can you name all seven bodily fluids? Try in the comments!
Jul.10.2008 Disgraced-ish reporter Lara Logan likes creampies
The bustiest foreign correspondent one can ask for, Lara Logan, was not only disgraced a couple weeks back by her whorish ways in Iraq, but now she’s gotten knocked up by one of the dudes she was stepping out with.
Lara Logan, the chief foreign affairs correspondent for CBS News, tells The Washington Post she is pregnant, and the father is a married federal contractor whom she met while stationed in Iraq.
Logan’s relationship with Joseph Burkett - who’s in the midst of a divorce from wife Kimberly, with whom he has a 3-year-old daughter - has made media headlines, including the front page of the New York Post.
Logan is going through a divorce from estranged husband Jason Siemon, a Chicago-based energy lobbyist whom she married in 1998.
“Nobody likes to read about themselves like that, especially the way it’s been sensationalized,” Logan, 37, told The Washington Post. “I hated it. But I’m just going to rise above it and keep going.”
Logan, whose pregnancy was unplanned, told the newspaper her due date is in January, and she’s “looking forward to being a mom.”
Since I’m a media expert, let me key you in on a little secret. “Whose pregnancy was unplanned” is always code for “couldn’t resist the lure of skin on skin and a load in her belly.” And, often but not always, “tragically lost the child” is code for “she ‘fell’ down the stairs when her lover ‘lost his grip.’” At least in my case. I can’t help it, my palms get so a-sweaty!
Anyway though I guess I can’t be surprised that Lara Logan is so insatiable over there in Iraq. There’s really nothing more of an aphrodisiac then sand, guys whose ballbags smell like onions, and suicide bombings. It’s just like a candlelit dinner in Paris!
Jul.08.2008 Amy Jacobson has big boobs and does not want you to question them
Via Fark comes this awesome article in today’s Chicago Tribune about disgraced reporter Amy Jacobson, who was photographed by a competing news station in a bikini at a subject’s home (some dude whose story she was trying to get to the bottom of), then unceremoniously canned. Long block quote below, but an interesting story so bear with me. Or look at her big mom boobs, whatever.
The former WMAQ-Ch. 5 reporter is seeking more than $1 million in damages from WBBM-Ch. 2 parent CBS, Channel 2 boss Joe Ahern and others, complaining that a tape it aired of her in bathing attire at the home of a potential news source in July 2007 subjected Jacobson to “enormous public humiliation and disgrace.”
Jacobson wound up losing her TV job and, eventually, her home, according to the suit filed Monday in Cook County by attorney Kathleen Zellner on behalf of Jacobson, husband Jaime Anglada and their two children, all of whom alleged to have “suffered from observing the devastating effects on the person they love most.”
Jacobson’s suit, which states “some would say” she was “the best in the business” before the July 5, 2007, incident was recorded by Channel 2, alleges the station never should have shot the video, should never have aired it and should not have edited it the way it did.
The suit asserts Channel 2 portrayed her as “an adulteress and disreputable reporter” and said the station leaked word of the tape to newspapers, leading to published reports it used to justify airing the video.
Jacobson has said she originally intended to take her kids swimming at Chicago’s East Bank Club before she detoured to the Plainfield home of Craig Stebic, whose wife had vanished two months earlier and remains missing to this day, at the invitation of Stebic’s sister.
Whatever journalistic splash Jacobson had hoped to make by Stebic’s pool by ingratiating herself with potential sources instead resulted in the self-inflicted sting of a belly flop, reported everywhere from England to Australia. Even Geraldo Rivera weighed in, decrying her ethics and calling her dismissal “a no-brainer” on Fox News Channel.
Sources told the Chicago Tribune last year that Jacobson’s decision to brief police on her interaction with Stebic, without telling her WMAQ bosses, played a role in her ouster. That breach of standards, which made her a part of a story she was covering, one she had been warned she was getting too close to, was just the latest incident to cause bosses to lose their confidence in Jacobson’s judgment, the sources said.
While one Chicago TV executive at the time called Jacobson’s misstep “egregious,” another said she might have survived it had it not been for an accumulation of incidents.
I can’t really tell if she’s hot, but if I were a dude who just killed my wife and pretended she went missing, I prooooobably wouldn’t be able to go out and get tail too often. Kind of blows your cover a bit.
I can definitely relate to Amy though. When you’re a serious investigative reporter like us, sometimes you have to put yourself in awkward situations for the news. Sometimes it’s appearing at a dude’s place with your boobs flopping around, sometimes it’s taking a load on the chin. It’s like that guy who gives me free access to videos on YouTube. He said he was the heir to YouTube…his name is like Johnny Youtubener. Man, the things I’ve had to do for access to their videos. Wait. YouTube videos are free for everyone? What? Are you serious? Fuck. I swore this wouldn’t happen again after that guy in the restroom gave me a paper towel and said he didn’t do that for everyone..that I was special. DAMMIT JULIO. YOU AND YOUR SWEET SWEET LIES.
Jun.24.2008 Houston reporters think wrestling is real
People often like to mock Southerners but, well, it’s pretty well-deserved. Some Houston station is reporting that WWE Chairman Vince McMahon was hurt last night on RAW. See the clip below and make your own call. Hint: IT’S NOT REAL YOU FUCKING DOLTS.
WWE Chairman Vince McMahon was injured in a freak accident in San Antonio Monday night.
Just moments after giving away $500,000 in “McMahon’s Million Dollar Mania,” McMahon was crushed by a large electric sign that fell from the AT&T Center.
The extent of his injuries was unclear, but he was rushed to the hospital.
WrestleMania officials planned to update fans on McMahon’s condition at a press conference in Houston Tuesday.
WWE stars were scheduled to be on hand at the Toyota Center before filming SmackDown and ECW at the arena.
You know when sets collapse, I’d like to think that they actually, you know, hit the person they’re collapsing on. Granted, Vince McMahon has had a bad run of luck this past year…his limo was blown up last June….oh, until that whole messy (literally and figuratively) Chris Benoit double-murder thing happened. Then he was ok. Whew, good thing these real life situations are so reversible!
Fun Chris Fact: I try not to divulge personal work stuff here, but it’s totally relevant so whatever. I worked for WWE’s PR department last year during the time Vince’s limo blew up. I will preface this by saying that I greatly enjoyed my time at WWE and was treated extremely well. It was an awesome experience and made me even better at what I do. But holy shit that was fucking ridiculous. I had to pretend TO LEGITIMATE MEDIA that Vince McMahon has actually been blown up in a limo accident. Actually, no, I couldn’t say “Vince McMahon”. I had to say “MR. MCMAHON” (because that’s the character). I remember talking to a producer at Extra about it and he was like, “Funny stunt after that ending of The Sopranos, eh?” And I replied, in a complete stoic delivery, “Funny? Sir, this is tragic.” Granted, as you know by now, I relish in being a douchebag, but as a PR person, I’m pretty good. So I felt annoyed and sad that day. Not to mention that I received calls from legitimate newspapers (granted, most were small town), asking if Vince was okay. Seriously people? Seriously?
Anyway yeah, sure hope Vince is okay. Stupid media.
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