Nov.19.2008 The November 19 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with homemade sex tapes
Making a sex tape with this hot chick goes horribly wrong.
-Erin Andrews’ breasts require bodyguards
-Pop culture propaganda posters (funny pics)
-13 horny mascots (funny pics)
-Holly Madison takes photos with clothes or without
-The 20 hottest Victoria’s Secret models of all time
-Sexy videos from FHM
-Ever seen a girl get fucked in an office window before? (funnysexy pic)
-Hayley Pascoe is an amazing Australian bikini model
-Hot Latina singers bring breasts to the Latin Grammys
-How to not fool your spouse with your iPhone
-What if Facebook took over your whole life for real? (funny video)
-Suge Knight is a problem
-A fine ass in a thong
-A bunch of stuff that astronauts dropped in space
-Tami Donaldson’s chest is exploding out
-A bunch of hot chicks who love video games
-Awesome old article on “Everyday Rules for Being a Good Wife” (hilarious misogyny alert!)
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Oct.06.2008 The 7 least trustworthy food mascots
A study in the UK released last week said that some beloved food mascots such as Tony the Tiger and Coco the Monkey are contributing to children’s obesity. But they’re not the only mascots who seem capable of misdeeds. For example, take a look at these delinquents below.
Mayor McCheese
Sells: McDonald’s
Most Likely to: Get your child to wonder how delicious their own head must be
You’d expect a political figure in a major economic power like McDonaldland to be above reproach, but you’d be mistaken. Think about it. How does a lifelong criminal like the Hamburglar escape the law time and time again in a land where 90% of the populace is a food item themselves? Do you know the outrage that must be in every issue of the Daily Hamburgian? But for some reason the police force can’t wrangle the most incompetent (yet persistent) criminal of all time. Smells like corruption to me.
Plus how can you trust an adult dressed in a sash? Maybe a beauty pageant contestant. Or a guy dressed like a New Year’s baby. But anybody else…notsomuch.
The M&Ms
Sells: M&Ms
Most Likely to: Be voiced by Jon Lovitz
I kind of feel bad for these two because they have it tough. Not only are people always chasing them around, trying to take a bite out of their skull, but they also depend upon eating miniature versions of themselves for sustenance. For example:
Now if those M&Ms would do that to their own people, imagine what they’d do to you as soon as you turn your back. Have you been roasted like a pig as two talking M&Ms wear Tiki masks and dance around you? Well, probably not because they’re not real, but still. It’d be a pretty cool visual. If not slightly uncomfortable for you. I think you’d be delicious though, if it’s any consolation.
Colonel Sanders
Sells: KFC, Slaves
Most Likely to: Curse the day Lincoln was born; Drink mint juleps
Yes, I know what you’re thinking…if I can’t trust a slave owner-looking dapper dressed Southern man who fills my arteries with sweet fatty fried breading, who can I trust? It’s counterintuitive, yes, but take a look at this quote from a recent story about his much-discussed “secret recipe”:
Vials of the herbs and spices are also stored in the secret filing cabinet.
“The smell is overwhelming when you open it,” said one of two keepers of the recipe in an interview at company headquarters.
Others have tried to replicate the recipe, and occasionally someone claims to have found a copy of Sanders’ creation. The executive said none have come close, adding the actual recipe would include some surprises.
Secret cabinets, overwhelming smells, and something what would “surprise me”. I don’t think I’d be putting a lot of stock in my longterm health if I’m a KFC regular. On the plus side, rat droppings have a shelflife of 50 years, so their presence as a secret ingredient will only be inside of you until approximately the time Miley Cyrus becomes our first female President.
Oct.03.2008 JoJo and a guy in a bear costume seem like they’re having fun
From Jumpstart’s “Read for the Record” in Boston, which I assume involved both reading and records.
The bear subtlely undressed himself while JoJo and her ample cleavage seemed none the wiser. Note that bear’s hand position. He knows what he’s doing.
This is all too reminiscent of me the last time I was at a school. As I sat there with my unbuttoned overalls and a security guard shining a flashlight in my face, I knew the jig was up.
