Nov.17.2008 Marissa Miller and Adriana Lima celebrate being models

From the after party of this weekend’s Victoria Secret fashion show.

I don’t know if it’s because Marissa Miller is so ungodly hot and that she is to womanhood what Jesus is to magic tricks, but she makes all the women who appear next to her much less attractive. It’s like being a handcranked flashlight next to a supernova. I guess my point is that, much like my emergency flashlight, I’d like to shove Adriana Lima and that tranny looking black chick below into my crawl space while I go dancing around town with Marissa Miller. See, there was a point there.

Also, you have to love modern society where some women who are famous for being hot and showing their body parts for random men under the guise of female fashion can get a party thrown in their honor to celebrate how successful they were at exposing themselves. Meanwhile I try to throw a birthday party at McDonald’s with all of my 8 year-old friends as I’m clothed only in a strategically loosened trenchcoat and it’s a problem.

Tags: Adriana Lima, Girls I Would Copulate With, Marissa Miller, Models

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Nov.13.2008 The November 13 Hot Link Orgy

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The hottest orgy with a clumsy pussy

Poor kitty

-Say hello to Marissa Miller’s huge breasts
-Tara Reid presents her lopsided nipples to the public
-Hot Argentinian chick in lingerie!
-Awesome cheerleader bloopers compilation (funny video)
-The 10 hottest college football girlfriends

-Kelly Carlson looks good all sweaty in her underwear
-Waitress pranks diners until they get extremely pissed (funny video)
-Girl takes half-naked shots of herself with her iPhone (probably the best possible ad for Apple)
-Danielle Bux shows you her thonged ass
-A collection of the hottest Bond girls ever

-Hot women drink Guinness: It’s science
-TV’s 8 greatest bald guys
-Ashley Greene in various stages of undress
-A collection of guys looking awkward in photo (funny pic collection)

-Obama Girl presents her large breasts/political affiliation for photographs
-The Florida Panthers’ cheerleaders will not have sex with you for money
-Sexy S&M pic (NSFW)
-Some of the best celebrity cat fights

Tags: Cheerleaders, College, Danielle Bux, Girls I Would Copulate With, Hot Link Orgy, iPhone, Marissa Miller, NHL, Tara Reid, Video

Nov.12.2008 The November 12 Hot Link Orgy

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The hottest orgy with a magnificent punch

Real people getting punched in the face will always warrant a link

-Scarlett Johansson brings huge cleavage, nerd appeal to a photoshoot
-Holly Weber fills out a bikini nicely
-Turkish town of “Batman” sues Dark Knight producers
-Why is every girl working for Disney a complete hobag?
-Hot Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader frolics in candid bikini pics

-Mexican soap star Geraldine Bazan has quite an ass
-Mirella Grisales makes you grateful for thongs
-A Blake Lively/Leighton Meester lesbian fantasy
-Guess Whose Boobs: Asian edition

-Sammy Braddy bends over. Also she’s a chick in case you were concerned
-Guns up, bitch (funny video)
-Classic SNL Celebrity Jeopardy with Burt Reynolds (funny video)
-A great collection of Sophie Monk

-Dad loves son’s pee wee football hit, he makes a YouTube video (funny video)
-Who’s the hottest Saved by the Bell babe?
-More college girl stripper pole tailgating
-The 10 hottest moments in Marissa Miller history

Tags: Batman, Blake Lively, Boobs, College, Disney, Getting punched in the face, Girls I Would Copulate With, Hot Link Orgy, Leighton Meester, Marissa Miller, Philadelphia Eagles, Saved by the Bell, SNL, Sophie Monk, Video

Oct.23.2008 The October 23 Hot Link Orgy

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The hottest orgy with potato shooting

Note to self: Potato guns are painful.

-Playboy U had an awesome wet t-shirt contest
-Police cockblock a stalker’s chances with Beyonce
-Martina Colombari is a former Miss Italy
-Even more hot military babes
-Top 10 celebrities who need to do a nude scene already

-The 5 defining characteristics of 1980s high school movie villain
-Claudette Ortiz: Hot and spicy
-<3 Katrina Bowden
-Nicole Negrin wears a bikini well
-So is it sexy time for college girls yet?

-Holly Madison is less relevant when she’s wearing clothes
-Sexy maids! (video)
-Career Builder releases sexy ad, gets in trouble (video)
-Marissa Miller is so hot in the newest Complex

-Meagan Good has a whole lot of ass in tight pants
-Colt McCoy’s girlfriend: hot
-Sara Jean Underwood poses on her bed
-Jenna Dewan is purdy

Tags: Beyonce, Girls I Would Copulate With, Holly Madison, Hot Link Orgy, Italy, Jenna Dewan, Marissa Miller, Meagan Good, Playboy, Video

Oct.10.2008 This is what Gisele Bundchen thinks of you

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Gisele Bundchen was shooting a music video for some band called Blackcowboy.

Yes, that’s Gisele giving you, the general public, the finger. She hates you. She hates your clothes, your hair, everything you stand for. You disgust Gisele Bundchen. If she saw you, she’d probably spit in your face. No, not probably…definitely. You’re no Tom Brady. Tom Brady could have no legs and she’d still prefer him to you. Because she’s Gisele Bundchen. So what if her vagina is like sunshine, rainbows, and kitty cats frolicking in a lush green meadow? You’ll never know. Because she has nothing but utter, unflinching disdain for you.

On the plus side, every time a supermodel gives you the finger, it gets easier and easier to brush it off. After I got the finger from Marissa Miller from “groping her ‘inappropriately’” (since when is a grope inappropriate?), I just let it roll off my back. Unlike the stomps from her bodyguards. Those did less of a “roll”. More of a dull tingle followed by complete numbness followed by temporary spinal shock. Same difference.