Nov.21.2008 Quote of the Day

World’s fattest man Manuel Uribe got married (pic here if you’re curious, she’s far from hot though) a couple weeks back. However, due to his girth, they couldn’t do the nasty nuptials dance with their genitals. But they did now thanks to the magic of engineering!

Due to his enormous weight, Manuel was not able to consummate his wedding. Then his friends came up with an idea to build him a sex ramp with resistant concrete. The ramp allowed the man to raise the lower half of his body and his wife received a better access to Uribe’s private parts.

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Oct.27.2008 Quote of the Day

This is a bit of a cheat because it’s a photo caption, but it’s awesome. Former World’s Fattest Man Manuel Uribe got married…here’s the caption from him entering the wedding area.

Groom Manuel Uribe is rolled into the dance hall for his wedding reception.

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Oct.08.2008 Man weighing a half ton dies in Mexico

Every time a thousand pound man dies, an angel gets its diabetes.

A 990-pound, bedridden man who had appealed on Mexican television for help tackling his weight problem died Tuesday of heart failure, his family said.

Emergency officials had to knock down Jose Luis Garza’s bedroom wall and load him onto the back of a friend’s pickup truck as he fought for his life. The 47-year-old was pronounced dead on arrival at a hospital in northern Mexico.

Garza followed in the footsteps of the world’s fattest man, fellow Mexican Manuel Uribe of Monterrey, by taking his weight problem public. Garza lived about an hour away from Uribe in the town of Juarez.
Garza said he always struggled with his weight, but that he fell into a desperate cycle of depression and overeating nine months ago after his parents died of natural causes within two weeks of each other. He had been bedridden for four months.

Uribe tried to help Garza by sending him kiwis, grapefruit, pears and a protein supplement. Uribe’s fiancee, Claudia Solis, delivered the food on Friday evening.

That’s the fatty who got engaged last week. It’s sweet that these mountains of man both bond and whatever instead of the alternative of fighting over hams, but that was just lucky. I imagine that when Claudia brought the fruit over to Garza’s house, she was greeted by awful smells and a confused Garza who stared at the fruit as though it were advanced trigonometry. Uribe’s lucky that his chick came back alive and that Garza didn’t just slurp her up like an anteater then sing “Who stole the Fat Guy’s Fiance from the Cookie Jar.”

“Who me? Yes you! Couldn’t be! Then…” *dies