Nov.18.2008 Strippers want money? No way.

A collection of strippers from NYC strip club Scores are suing the establishment for taking 10 cents off of every dollar the whores received from patrons using the club’s fake money. Whose side am I on? The fake money, probably.

Almost 70 Scores top strippers want their bosses to hand over the 10 cents they skimmed from every dollar slipped into their G-strings.

Following a hearing Monday in Manhattan Federal Court, lawyer Justin Swartz said dozens of former Scores employees - most of them dancers - have joined a class-action suit former Scores bartender Siri Diaz filed in October 2007.

The women accuse Scores of a “greedy money grab” engineered through the use of “Diamond Dollars,” play money customers use to tip their favorite lap dancer.

The strippers say management skimmed 10% off their “Diamond Dollars” take. Swartz said the two sides are “discussing the possibility of a settlement.”

There’s so many shocking pieces in this story. Scummy strip club owners? Women who show their labia for money (I know, they don’t do that in NYC, but come on, the idea of showing your labia for money is much funnier than just breasts) somehow wanting even more money? I’m taken aback by all of the unconventional ideas in this story.

It’s not in my nature to go against the rights of our brave nude Americans and their rights to earn the money they’re due for doing such brave things as: Showing their breasts to strangers, pretending to be interested in those strangers, wearing clear high heels, dancing to Motley Crue, giving handjobs to unattractive traveling salesmen for slightly more money, calculus, shooting ping pong balls out of their vaginas, and much much more. We must support their naked bodies unwaveringly, ideally by propping up said bodies against our erect penises for which we wear sweatpants in order to maximize the amount of contact they give us during their lap dances. Yessir, being a stripper is a glamorous life indeed.

[source]

Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.

Aug.14.2008 Kentucky college girl wears dress too short, gets kicked out of mall

I don’t know what America’s turning into these days. Check out the story of Kymberly Clem, a college student forced out of a Richmond mall for wearing a dress that was “too short”. Sorry for the crappy image but it’s hard to find anything better.

A Kentucky college student has hired a lawyer after she was escorted out of a mall by security on Sunday because her dress was deemed too short, MyFOXBoston reports.

Kymberly Clem, a 20-year-old student at Eastern Kentucky University, wore the dress Sunday after purchasing it from the mall in Richmond the previous day, the Richmond Register reported Tuesday. After just a few minutes inside of the mall, a security guard approached her and expressed concerns over the length of the garment.

According to MyFOXBoston, the guard informed her that several female patrons had complained that she was disrupting their shopping experience because their husbands were “checking her out.”

“He made me turn all the way around while he stared me up and down,” she told the Register “The only thing he said was that other people didn’t like the way I looked, so he wanted me to leave.”

Clem’s sister Kendra told the Register that while the dress was short, it was not exposing any of her “private body parts.”

Granted I’m a big proponent of women’s rights and that makes me more inclined to take the side of the nubile college student over the angry henpecking women who complained about her dress because their husbands can’t stand looking at their butterball bodies any more and because every woman over 45 who isn’t at least a .6 on the MILFmometer should probably be shot and killed or taken to an internment camp, but this is just ridiculous. As is the fact that a grown woman used the phrase “private body parts”. We need to encourage our young women, not tear them down. They’re already getting all uppity with their rights to vote and whatever, let’s not give them reason to start wearing more clothes too. Otherwise we’re just going to be a less fun (read: no public stonings) version of the Middle East.

Because I like smart girls, check out this clip of the intelligent and beautiful Kymberly (when you have two Ys in your first name, you’re guaranteed to churn out pure genius) talking about the situation.

Aug.13.2008 Paris Hilton doesn’t do enough publicity

Paris Hilton is being sued by the producers of National Lampoon’s Pledge This!, saying that she didn’t do enough to publicize the film.

Worldwide Entertainment Group Inc. filed the lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Miami, alleging the 27-year-old model-actress-heiress owes $75,000 in damages for not fulfilling promotional obligations.

Hilton entered into an agreement in 2004 for the production and distribution of the movie “National Lampoon’s Pledge This!,” according to the lawsuit. Hilton starred in the film and received credit as an executive producer.

The Miami-based concern said it paid Hilton and her company, Paris Hilton Entertainment Inc., $1 million for “Hilton’s acting services” and for “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie, which was released in 2006 and featured Hilton as the president of an exclusive sorority.

That sucks because her whole thing is publicity. I’m pretty sure she’d fight a mountain lion if it meant the cover of US Weekly. So I’m thinking that the publicity involved must have probably been worse than that…probably an appearance on Carson Daly’s show or something.

This article gave me a pretty brilliant idea though. Maybe the next B/C-list celeb who does a sex tape can throw in product placement and advertisements! If Paris had put in a mention to this movie when she was blowing some dude on camera, she’d have been totally covered any and all publicity aspects of her contract. And easy! Believe me!

Jul.11.2008 ..but America remains the king of putting racism into practice

Yay, apparently it’s Racism Friday here on the blog! Some Ohio town has been denied WATER by local authorities for years, so they’re now getting some financial retributions.

Residents of a mostly black neighborhood in rural Ohio were awarded nearly $11 million Thursday by a federal jury that found local authorities denied them public water service for decades out of racial discrimination.

Each of the 67 plaintiffs was awarded $15,000 to $300,000, depending on how long they had lived in the Coal Run neighborhood, about 5 miles east of Zanesville in Muskingum County in east-central Ohio.

Coal Run residents either paid to have wells dug, hauled water for cisterns or collected rain water so they could drink, cook and bathe.

“As a child, I thought it was normal because everyone done it in my neighborhood,” said one of the plaintiffs, Cynthia Hale Hairston, 47. “But I realized as an adult it was wrong.”

That’s so fucked up that it’s kind of hilarious. Like even before black people had civil rights, at least they had WATER FOUNTAINS. Granted, they were separate, but they still HAD them. Like it might not be in the constitution, but it’s kind of a fundamental right. Even the sky gives us water. We kind of need it. Unless we can drink our urine yet without being labeled “social outcasts”. Sigh. I still haven’t lived my sophomore year of college down. How long can you hold a grudge, world??!?!

Jul.08.2008 Amy Jacobson has big boobs and does not want you to question them

Via Fark comes this awesome article in today’s Chicago Tribune about disgraced reporter Amy Jacobson, who was photographed by a competing news station in a bikini at a subject’s home (some dude whose story she was trying to get to the bottom of), then unceremoniously canned. Long block quote below, but an interesting story so bear with me. Or look at her big mom boobs, whatever.

The former WMAQ-Ch. 5 reporter is seeking more than $1 million in damages from WBBM-Ch. 2 parent CBS, Channel 2 boss Joe Ahern and others, complaining that a tape it aired of her in bathing attire at the home of a potential news source in July 2007 subjected Jacobson to “enormous public humiliation and disgrace.”

Jacobson wound up losing her TV job and, eventually, her home, according to the suit filed Monday in Cook County by attorney Kathleen Zellner on behalf of Jacobson, husband Jaime Anglada and their two children, all of whom alleged to have “suffered from observing the devastating effects on the person they love most.”

Jacobson’s suit, which states “some would say” she was “the best in the business” before the July 5, 2007, incident was recorded by Channel 2, alleges the station never should have shot the video, should never have aired it and should not have edited it the way it did.

The suit asserts Channel 2 portrayed her as “an adulteress and disreputable reporter” and said the station leaked word of the tape to newspapers, leading to published reports it used to justify airing the video.

Jacobson has said she originally intended to take her kids swimming at Chicago’s East Bank Club before she detoured to the Plainfield home of Craig Stebic, whose wife had vanished two months earlier and remains missing to this day, at the invitation of Stebic’s sister.

Whatever journalistic splash Jacobson had hoped to make by Stebic’s pool by ingratiating herself with potential sources instead resulted in the self-inflicted sting of a belly flop, reported everywhere from England to Australia. Even Geraldo Rivera weighed in, decrying her ethics and calling her dismissal “a no-brainer” on Fox News Channel.

Sources told the Chicago Tribune last year that Jacobson’s decision to brief police on her interaction with Stebic, without telling her WMAQ bosses, played a role in her ouster. That breach of standards, which made her a part of a story she was covering, one she had been warned she was getting too close to, was just the latest incident to cause bosses to lose their confidence in Jacobson’s judgment, the sources said.

While one Chicago TV executive at the time called Jacobson’s misstep “egregious,” another said she might have survived it had it not been for an accumulation of incidents.

I can’t really tell if she’s hot, but if I were a dude who just killed my wife and pretended she went missing, I prooooobably wouldn’t be able to go out and get tail too often. Kind of blows your cover a bit.

I can definitely relate to Amy though. When you’re a serious investigative reporter like us, sometimes you have to put yourself in awkward situations for the news. Sometimes it’s appearing at a dude’s place with your boobs flopping around, sometimes it’s taking a load on the chin. It’s like that guy who gives me free access to videos on YouTube. He said he was the heir to YouTube…his name is like Johnny Youtubener. Man, the things I’ve had to do for access to their videos. Wait. YouTube videos are free for everyone? What? Are you serious? Fuck. I swore this wouldn’t happen again after that guy in the restroom gave me a paper towel and said he didn’t do that for everyone..that I was special. DAMMIT JULIO. YOU AND YOUR SWEET SWEET LIES.