Nov.04.2008 Hot famous chicks do Hollywood pin-up photoshoots

Photographer Timothy White released a book of photos with pretty famous celebrity chicks half-naked in classic Hollywood pin-up photoshoot style. It’s a hot little collection that makes women whom I usually hate, like Kate Hudson below, completely tolerable.

Who knew that all you had to do to get famous women naked for photoshoots was to put your name on the book title? Given that bit of intel, look forward to my new book “Chris’s Big Book O’ Hollywood Gynecological Exams” in stores next December. The “O’” makes it classy; even classier than the idea of me doing the photoshoots with a camera phone, a shoehorn, and an overly enthusiastic smile on my face.

Below, in order: Angie Harmon, Michelle Trachtenberg, Ashley Olsen (seriously), Mary-Kate Olsen (double seriously), Gina Gershon, Elisha Cuthbert, and Lauren Graham. Way more in the book so check that out.

You may also like: Marisa Miller & Miranda Kerr’s Victoria’s Secret Fitting

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Mar.04.2008 Kate Hudson iceburns the fuck out of Katherine Heigl

I kinda don’t care about Kate Hudson, but I kind of hate Katherine Heigl. So you could see how I’m conflicted in caring about Kate Hudson burning Katherine Heigl so bad to US.

Kate Hudson has no idea who Katherine Heigl is.

“Who is she?” Hudson, whose movie Fool’s Gold opened at No. 1 its first weekend, said in UK Elle. “Oh, that girl in 27 Dresses? I just don’t think about that stuff.”

Heigl’s flicks Knocked Up and 27 Dresses opened at No. 1 earlier this year and Grey’s Anatomy is one of the top shows on television. She’s won one Screen Actors Guild award and been nominated for two Golden Globes.

Well, it’s kind of hard to pick a winner between these two because I kind of wish neither existed. Kate Hudson’s just a pompous bitch (didn’t she hate America or something a couple of years ago too?) and Katherine Heigl’s a stuck up bitch who’d stare at you with a furrowed brow if you tried to put a finger in her ass. What’s that called? The fish eye? Yeah, she’d totally do that.

Where was I? Oh yeah. And that’s why the Eskimos control the Liberal media.