Sep.24.2008 Better bikini photos of Jessica Alba’s post-baby body
There were photos of Jessica Alba’s body in a bikini after she released the demon that was feeding on her in her supple womb but they looked so grainy and awful, like I was seeing Bigfoot in shitty surveillance footage. These are much better, from yesterday in Cabo.
Personally, I think she may look even better now than she did before the pregnancy. Her boobs grew, her butt seemed to grow a little bit, and she still looks nice and trim and toned. If you couldn’t play 5-on-5 basketball in her vagina due to the enormous baby that came out of her little frame (see photo #1 below), she might still be incredibly desirable. But unfortunately, you can play 5-on-5 basketball in her cavernous snizz. You have to get one of those hoops where you fill the base up with water though and roll it in. And the ball doesn’t bounce that well. And it gets a little humid sometimes. And the rim we have is a little rusty. And when you jump, in certain spots, you feel like you’re playing Slamball. But you can play basketball. The YMCA may be better for such endeavors, but you definitely ,em>could play it in her cooch too.
Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.
Sep.23.2008 The September 23 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with gymnastics
Today’s sign your set manager might hate your acrobatics act.
-Nicole Scherzinger is so hot. Seriously.
-Beach balls make everything more fun
-Jessica Alba has an awesome bikini body for a new mom
-Girls in bikinis play Tetris. Oddly mesmerizing (w/ video)
-The 10 hottest girls in sports movies (w/ well-done pic usage)
-Women are still awful drivers (w/ video)
-Sexual harass the right way, with this boob squeeze mousepad
-Myspace whore Crystal sure likes to get drunk and hook up with girls for cameras
-These Idaho University cheerleader uniforms were too sexy to keep wearing, apparently
-Jenny McCarthy’s sister Amy is hot too
-Mario should have never met the Ninja Turtles (awesome pic)
-12 sweet things to say to your girlfriend (note: saying these to your girlfriend may get you punched vigorously)
-Philly sports fans are whores (w/ video)
-Tricia Helfer is a sexy Canadian on Burn Notice
-Pamela Anderson is good at picking boyfriends
Sep.05.2008 The September 5 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with man on woman violence
It may shock you to see that a rapper doesn’t respect women in this video of Akon punching a fan in the face
-Christina Ricci is pretty in a bikini
-Lindsay Lohan turned down 700k to pose for Playboy
-Too much liquor and your face may permanently look like this
-Kim Kardashian will make a great singer
-Randi Ingerman is the International babe of the day
-You can rent a USC Song Girl! For sex? Maybe!
-Top 10 Chad “Johnson” Ocho Cinco-inspired names for NFL players
-30 Rock’s Katrina Bowden is amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing
-John McCain had a riveting speech last..zzzzzz
-Ines Sainz Gallo is hot and Mexican, like a burrito
-Jessica Alba’s really become quite the MILF
-Who are the 10 sexiest babes of Baywatch?
Jul.10.2008 Jessica Alba’s got milk
The best part of pregnancy is losing 10 pounds of life-sucking force and retaining the ample breastedness responsible for feeding it, right Jessica Alba? Oh, but there was never a time where you didn’t feel sexy, eh?
“I never felt less sexy,” Jessica Alba says of her own pregnancy. “I mean, I wouldn’t have changed it for the world … but I wanted to get rid of all the weight.”
The actress, who gave birth to her daughter, Honor Marie, last month, opened up about motherhood – and her recent wedding to Cash Warren – in the August U.K. edition of Cosmopolitan magazine.
“I never thought I’d find a man before 30, let alone marry him and have his baby,” she told the magazine. “I always used to meet the wrong guys – the ones who wanted to hang out for a week and see how far they could get. If you didn’t have sex in the first few days, you were either frigid or a lesbian. So I held out – and, boy, am I glad I did!”
I tend not to find mack trucks with a human being incubating inside of them sexy, but who am I to judge? Also, I’m not really sure how she held out…she got knocked up out of wedlock, then broke up with the dude, then got engaged to him. That’s holding out like going on a diet that consists entirely of cake, only, after the cake cums inside of you because you don’t believe in fancy science like “pulling out”., you somehow it to make an honest woman out of you. Man, I’m good at analogies.
I think it’s great that her boobs remained but her face is still kinda chubby. She reminds me of a Myspace girl without the lens tilted and the Photoshop filters on. Work on that, Chubbsy.
Jun.03.2008 The June 3 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with a man and his baseball field
–Douchebag tries to run on Red Sox’ field, gets smacked up (w/ video). [Don Chavez]
–All you need to know about the Seth Rogen/James Franco weed-smoking publicity stunt at the MTV Movie Awards. [Mac G's World]
–Audrina Patridge has problems with not showing her underwear. [Best Celeb Gossip]
–Jessica Alba is a whale in a bikini. [Egotastic]
–So what does ESPN’s Chris Berman think about drug running (w/ video)? [Banned in Hollywood]
May.14.2008 The May 14 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with an androgynous Jessica Alba
–Uh why is Jessica Alba dressed up like Charlie Chaplin in Allure? Why would you allow this? [Popsugar]
–Yay footage of the new NCAA Football ‘09 video game. [Loser with Socks]
–Austria does a good job of getting people naked. [Cuzoogle]
–Today’s reminder of why high school girls are better than you. [The Angry T]
–A blond girl with big boobs wants to be a Playmate? No way. I find that quite dubious sirs! [Busted Coverage]
Apr.28.2008 Jessica Alba large, flanked by past version of self
From, I assume, outside an all-you-can-eat buffet…
Yeah, Jessica Alba looks like a circus tent…no, a little classier…wedding tent. Which is fine, I guess. She’s been pregnant for like a year now, so she should theoretically be the size of a finely crafted German automobile. But who’s that chick behind her? I’m going to guess a sister or something, maybe a personal assistant. But it’s kind of depressing because, to me, she looks how Jessica Alba used to look before she swallowed one of those Swiss workout balls. It’s like having a painful reminder of how great you used to look with you at all times. No wonder Jessica’s turned to food so vigorously and authoritatively.
[I'm mentally penetrating PopSugar]
