Oct.08.2008 Jamie Lynn Spears is EXTREMELY fertile
The National Enquirer is reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears done got herself knocked up again. From the latest issue…
A source tells the publication, “Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical.
“Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out.
“Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding.
“She’d expected to have her period by early September, but a home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out.
“Lynne was livid when she found out.”
Read that again…she thought she couldn’t get pregnant by breast-feeding. That’s like something a small child would think, how retarded is this girl? That’s like when I used to tell girls to click their heels twice after accidentally erupting inside of them. Sure, it didn’t work, but if you believe hard enough and close your eyes real tight, I’ll have enough time to run out of the apartment and never see you again. So I guess that’s the difference…my idea actually worked.
Man she must really love unprotected sex though. For a teenage girl to get knocked up immediately after popping one out, she’s got to have a strong hatred for latex. She may punch Trojanman every time in the face she sees him. It’s that strong that no mascot can stop this skin-on-skin menace.
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Sep.03.2008 Jamie Lynn Spears sent a pregnancy gift to Bristol Palin
Man, this Sarah Palin is a real gift that keeps on giving. Joining Lindsay Lohan in support for the daughter of the Republican VP candidate is Jamie Lynn Spears, who reportedly sent a gift to her fellow teenage creampie fan.
A source close to the Beverly Hills baby store Petit Tresor tells CelebTV.com exclusively that a gift from Plain Mary was sent to Bristol Palin on behalf of Jamie Lynn Spears.
An insider says it was actually Lynne Spears, Jamie Lynn’s mom, who called about the gift, and requested the gift come from her daughter.
“It was ordered by phone, and they asked what could be done for under $100. They spent $60 on pink burpcloths,” said the source.
Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to her first daughter, Maddie Briann, in June, at the age of 17.
All jokes aside, that’s pretty sweet. It’s nice to see one teenage celebrity from a white trash background in the south reach out to another privileged white girl from a completely different climate. Different people of the same race uniting under similar causes (in this case, their love of unplasticked teenage male genitalia)…that’s what America is all about. But why stop with friendship? Maybe they can form some sort of crime fighting duo or something. Or do Bristol’s mom’s bidding and go punch a polar bear in the face. The world is your oyster when you’re under 18 with a stretched out cooch!
Or if they really want to diversify, they can reach out to another person who likes nubile young boys and really form a coalition. Kevin Spacey’s all ears, girls.
