Dec.09.2008 The December 9 Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy with Jaws

This is why you never ever trust a shark, no matter how appealing he may be.

—So yeah, now, in addition to mandatory joining of our Facebook group (DO IT NOW if you haven’t yet) you have to follow me on Twitter. It’s all a way we can get closer and build up our relationship. Or a way for you to hear more of my disgust with reality. Either/or.

girls
-Kristen Bell in a see-through bra
-Penelope Cruz has gotten smarter in the breast area
-German pop stars in their underwear
-Assless chap jeans on a hot chick? (funnysexypic)
-Another hot, busty Greek girl
-Katy Perry brings her girl kissing boobs to the KIIS concert in Los Angeles
-More on Tampa Bay Bucs’ QB Jeff Garcia and his hot Playboy Playmate wife

funny
-10 dudes who cry like girls
-Best Jeopardy answer ever (funny video)
-Kids love vodka (funny pic)
-What kind of heartless bastard gives a ticket to the Batmobile? (funny pic)
-A fine collection of the most bizarretarded (awesome new word) Yahoo Answers posts ever
-Hilarious instances of coaches getting knocked the fuck out on the sideline

interesting
-Who do college girls want: The game player or the honest boy?
-Tila Tequila can read AND write? No way
-Female rappers make some awful music that make you not want to have a daughter (videos)
-The 10 most bizarre Batmans ever (apparently it’s Batman day)
-University of Florida cheer ends up being interpreted as a racial slur. Whoops!
-The 10 breakout stars of 2008
-15 of the best bullies in movies

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Dec.05.2008 Interior crocodile alligator = the new Rickroll?

Buzz on the Internets is that this viral video may very well end up being your new “Rickroll”. It’s certainly catchy and it has a phat drum beat with mad…poppin’…lyrics, which I certainly appreciate.

The breakdown on the song from the heroes of 4chan-based Wiki Encyclopedia Dramatica:

Naturally, the song clip has to have some source. Well, it turns out it’s taken from a song (the term is used loosely) by rapper Chip tha Ripper. The song itself is a freestyle rap entitled S.L.A.B. Freestyle. The song’s content includes everything you expect to hear in mainstream rap, ranging from cars to clothes to car accessories to jewelery to clothing accessories to more cars. The track contains many unintentionally hilarious lines, ending with the now famous display of lyrical wit, “Interior crocodile alligator, I drive a Chevrolet movie theater.”

I can’t encourage you enough to view the whole Wiki page (which includes a line from Chip tha Ripper’s raps that includes eating babies for breakfast and dinner)…very funny.

So there, if this does sweep all of the Internet, now you know I’m cool because you saw it here first. And if you have this song stuck in your head all day, well, then I’ve done my job.

Oct.06.2008 Mr. T can teach you how to rap

I just got this sent to me and it easily trumps any other news story out there right now. Are you a poor white guy who wants to learn how to rap? Never fear..Mr. T is here.

I learned a lot in this video. Not just about rapping or about Mr. T, but about myself and the beauty of humanity. Also, gold chains. A lot about gold chains.

Jun.05.2008 The hottest jam of the summer, for real

So I heard this on Opie and Anthony the other day and I just remembered that the world (i.e. the world as far as I reach, so like me and a couple dogs) needs to see it. It’s a song for the ladies.

This is hip-hop how it was meant to be performed. A phat beat, some ill rhymes, a discussion of genitals. It’s really urban music distilled to a science. And clearly any white guy can do it. That means you, yes you (and by you, I mean me) can be an international rap superstar! Which is good because it seems like black guys are getting all the breaks these days.