Apr.22.2008 The April 22 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with competitive usage of pillows
–Heard of competitive pillow fighting? No? Well, now you have. [Cuzoogle]
–Heidi Montag did or said something dumb. [The Superficial]
–Jessica Simpson celebrates Tony Romo’s birthday in classy, face-licking ways. [ICYDK]
–Emma Watson is celebrating being 18 by wearing see-through underwear. Just like I celebrated my 18th birthday! [Egotastic]
–Hot girls have a knack for picking wonderful gentlemen. [Hottest Girls of Myspace]
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Apr.14.2008 Heidi Montag and her fashion line are important
Celebrities are cool people. That’s why when they get even a modicum of fame, they can open a fashion line. Like Heidi Montag.
Heidi Montag debuted her fashion line, Heidiwood, Friday in Hollywood.
Models hit the catwalk as music from her upcoming, as-yet-untitled pop album blared.
Montag, 21, worked the runway in sky-high black stiletto platform pumps, super short black shorts and a midriff-baring zebra print halter top. (”I love zebra print!” she said. “I’m obsessed with it!”)
The real head-turning moment of the night? Spencer Pratt popped on stage and gave Montag two dozen long-stemmed, pink roses before kissing her on the lips.
You know who else likes zebra print? Prostitutes. Which is smart on Heidi’s part because I don’t think that prostitutes really have a go-to designer. They need someone to organize them and keep them on point with their strategies in engaging strangers in having sex with them for money. Heidi Montag is basically the Ghandi of whores.
It’s pretty cool though that like every B, C, and D-list celebrity can just like have a clothing line. Like you don’t even have to have a fashion sense. If I were like, some dude who just won Survivor and fingerbanged Lindsay Lohan once, I’d open up a clothing line that was just like garish neckties that are made entirely of feather boa material. And people would be like, “Wow, that guy sure has a clothing line.” My response: “You know it, baby*.”
*or dude, where appropriate
Mar.10.2008 Heidi Montag is a fashion mogul
Apparently any asshole can have a fashion line these days. Exhibit A: Another slut from The Hills is opening her own.
THE Hills honey Heidi Montag is launching her answer to her MTV enemy Lauren Conrad’s clothing line, and planning to celebrate in “style” very soon.
We’re told, “Heidi has been [searching] for a place in LA to throw the launch party” for her fashion line — aptly called “Heidi Wood” — though the snitch in her camp said the faux-chested blonde is struggling to find a venue. A rep for Montag — not her former boyfriend/manager Spencer Pratt — assured us she will get her pick of prime nightlife spots.
I hope that the fashion line isn’t like what she’s wearing in the photo above. When you’re a thin blond with cartoonishly large breasts, I’d like to believe that you shouldn’t wear clothes that make you look like a frumpy librarian. In fact, this may be some sort of evil scheme to have armies of big breasted blonds clad in frumpy outfits that deemphasizes the things that make them special, interesting, or unique in any way. This is like a scheme that a James Bond villain would come up with. Damn you Heidi Montag. Your vacant stare and moon face led me to believe you were nothing but a buoyant simpleton. But that was what you wanted all along, wasn’t it? Crafty.
