Oct.22.2008 The October 22 Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy with monkey rides

Stupid monkey, you can’t operate electronics nearly as well as you can throw feces.

-Gisele brings a skimpy dress to the beach for a photoshoot
-Are the hot chicks on Dancing with the Stars screwing girls up?
-Loredana is the large breasted girl in a bikini of the day
-Texas A&M Cheerleader gets her ass spanked

-Women charged with nude bartending
-Bikinis can’t contain Denise Milani
-This pole dance is slightly inappropriate
-Charlize Theron bends over
-Cindy Crawford is still hot

-Who’s hotter out of these 90s sitcom babes: Tiffani Thiessen or Alyssa Milano?
-The 20 worst places to wake up Saturday morning
-The 14 worst pro wrestling characters ever
-Tasering is fun until someone gets fired (video)

Tags: Alyssa Milano, Bikinis, Charlize Theron, Cheerleaders, Cindy Crawford, College, Girls I Would Copulate With, Gisele Bundchen, Hot Link Orgy, Texas A&M, Tiffani Thiessen, Video

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Oct.13.2008 Gisele’s ass buffer = Best. Job. Ever.

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Gisele Bundchen did a photoshoot for V Magazine a couple months back and, for some reason, the behind-the-scene photos are popping up today. And since they feature Gisele in various states of undress, it seems logical to post them.

It’s kind of unfair that the only man in the world other than Tom Brady touching Gisele’s ass is this completely gay guy. You might as well give the finest caviars and wines to a bulimic girl. Yeah sure, she might appreciate it theoretically, but either way, both she and this gay guy are throwing up at the end of the night.

And you know, I’m sure there are a lot of intelligent models out there, but Gisele isn’t one of them. Silly Gisele, those aren’t full pants. Pants are supposed to cover your rear end. Oh, models.

Tags: Booty, Celebrity, Girls I Would Copulate With, Gisele Bundchen, Models

Oct.10.2008 This is what Gisele Bundchen thinks of you

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Gisele Bundchen was shooting a music video for some band called Blackcowboy.

Yes, that’s Gisele giving you, the general public, the finger. She hates you. She hates your clothes, your hair, everything you stand for. You disgust Gisele Bundchen. If she saw you, she’d probably spit in your face. No, not probably…definitely. You’re no Tom Brady. Tom Brady could have no legs and she’d still prefer him to you. Because she’s Gisele Bundchen. So what if her vagina is like sunshine, rainbows, and kitty cats frolicking in a lush green meadow? You’ll never know. Because she has nothing but utter, unflinching disdain for you.

On the plus side, every time a supermodel gives you the finger, it gets easier and easier to brush it off. After I got the finger from Marissa Miller from “groping her ‘inappropriately’” (since when is a grope inappropriate?), I just let it roll off my back. Unlike the stomps from her bodyguards. Those did less of a “roll”. More of a dull tingle followed by complete numbness followed by temporary spinal shock. Same difference.