Jun.26.2009 A famous person has died
Via Pictures for Sad Children comes this poignant comic about what happens when the famous die.
I already gave my Michael Jackson thoughts in the last post so I’ll spare any more rhetoric. I will however offer up this GIF animation of his tragic burial:
UPDATE: More image goodness (neither of these are photoshopped)!
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Jun.26.2009 Michael Jackson
I think you can probably guess where I fall on this one, but Michael Jackson died yesterday after going into cardiac arrest at the age of 50. A reverent animated tribute to his character, written/animated before his passing obviously, is embedded below.
Honestly, it sucks that he died poor and isolated from the world after being one of the biggest and most influential acts in the world. All joking aside, I don’t know that I ever truly bought that he was some brilliant child molester who was somehow faking being batshit crazy to gain access to more boys’ underpants. This is what can happen when you strip a child of his innocence and force him to perform and lose the experience of actually being a child.
The biggest joke of all though is the media and people who were the first ones to call the guy a freak and a weirdo and mock him being broke acting like they give a shit now. You can’t beat a guy to the point that he’s literally got to pop a bunch of pills to numb the pain enough to exist, then turn around and treat him as though you’ve always held him in the highest esteem after he dies. You can remember Michael Jackson as a polarizing figure and someone who didn’t make the best choices in life, you can love his music and cling to that. But the media and regular people acting like they give a shit now after slinging arrows and not caring for years is the biggest joke of all. Stop marrying yourselves to tragedy and putting these people on a pedestal like you weren’t trying to tear them down for literally almost 20 years.
Here’s a collection of Michael Jackson jokes from late-night hosts. Here’s a link to Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video (which, while somewhat ironic now) is still one of the best videos ever made. That’s an even-handed way to remember someone who’s the closest thing to a Greek tragedy to ever be a part of pop culture.
Also here’s my jokes, via my Twitter:
Why did Michael Jackson go to Wal-Mart?
-He heard they had boys pants half off. And a buy 1 get 1 free sale on tires for dead guys.
As a tribute to Michael Jackson, Chris Brown is going to punch a young boy in the face today instead of a woman.
Jun.19.2009 Quote of the Day
It brings me joy to see that Kate Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus 8 has her fame dwindling intensely right now since she’s pretty much universally accepted as a horrible person now. So the show, and Kate specifically, is making one last grasp for attention by airing a special “announcement” in the show’s usual timeslot next week.
The reality show’s regularly scheduled episode will be pre-empted by a one-hour “special” Monday night, according to a TLC promotional spot released Thursday.
“Recently, we’ve made some life-changing decisions, decisions that will affect every member of our family, ones that we hope will bring each of us some peace,” Kate Gosselin says in the video promo.
As she speaks, these words cross the screen:
“A family in turmoil … A relationship at a crossroads … Where do they go from here?”
[via]
Jun.19.2009 Pixar sends copy of Up to dying little girl
It’s rare, but I found myself genuinely touched by this story. Pixar personally flew down a DVD of Up to a 10 year-old girl dying of cancer who, having gotten her last wish, died seven hours later.
From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.
After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.
The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.
Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.
There are very few things these days that can restore your faith in humanity, and large companies, quite like this. And the fact that Pixar didn’t talk to the press about it and toot their own horn only helps to cement how good their intentions were. Sorry to the family who lost their daughter and kudos to Pixar for doing the right thing.
I think we all learned a lot about Pixar today. They are an extremely generous and unique company. We also learned that their films also can’t cure cancer. Two important lessons learned.
[via]
Jun.16.2009 Entourage does kind of blow
I watch Entourage every week and I feel like most people I know do too. But man, this CollegeHumor parody of the show is dead on in terms of what a fundamentally worthless show it is.
I was watching the episode of Entourage the other night in which Aquaman is opening, so Vince somehow gets sucked into going to a high school party with a couple of fans who saw him at the movie’s opening in the Valley. Now, while this would be an amazing story for those kids who got a movie star to vouch for them and attend a graduation party with them, wouldn’t it be just a bit creepy that a 30 year-old celebrity and his similarly-aged friends were at your high school party scoping out the chicks? And how difficult would it be for you to get any attention from the ladies when you’re a high schooler with not much to offer and you’re competing with these guys? I’m thinking this is really a lose-lose situation for everyone involved, at best, and a TMZ exclusive which features the words “statutory rape” and “in tears” multiple times at worst.
Jun.12.2009 Dutch TV is a bit pedophilic
Now I’ve never been to Holland, so I don’t really know what the culture’s like there. But where I come from, as well as most civilized nations, this TV show host with a child performer looks like a relationship that’s frowned upon by most sectors of society.
It’s a lot like Star Search. Only instead of stars, you get a sore heinie and the prize is repression of memories. Which isn’t much of a prize, really. Unless they give you the Men in Black flashing light memory eraser to keep. I can see how that’d come in handy lots of times in the future. Hell, I’d take a creepy older man invading me like a proctologist for that prize. I’ve done it for less.
[thanks Greg for the tip]
Jun.10.2009 Guitar Hero 5 contest for BOH readers
Well friends, it’s a rare treat for me to have a sponsored post since I won’t shill products I don’t like and, as you know, I really hate everyone and everything. EXCEPT Guitar Hero. The kind folks at Activision are promoting Guitar Hero 5, out this September, and are running a contest which BOH readers get the first crack at.
You can go to the Guitar Hero site, put in an entry, and you can win FIVE tickets to FIVE concerts this summer. Odds are that the concerts they’re giving tickets to will be slightly better than me playing the kazoo in a bathtub. And feature several less uncomfortable erections.
You can also download a free Wolfmother MP3 of their new song Back Round just by going to the site and signing up. I like Wolfmother a lot so I wholeheartedly support this endeavor. Even though the band is from Australia, surprisingly few of their songs are about either kangaroos or the everpresent dangers of babies being devoured by dingos.
So there you go. Click one of the links above and check it out as a thank you for me being here for you every day, toiling like an ass for your amusement when there are way better things I could do. My pants aren’t putting themselves on, you know.
