Mar.19.2008 Some links!

I said I’m not doing the Hot Link Orgy this week but there are some awesome links I can’t squeeze in any other way.

–Audrina Patridge from The Hills did a test shoot for Playboy and she’s RIDICULOUSLY hot. Way hotter than in clothes, actually. [WWTDD]

–Twins take their love of milk to the next level. [Tasty Booze]

–Hilary Duff is looking absurdly hot lately. [On205th]

–Eliot Spitzer’s slut Kristen was a Girls Gone Wild girl. [The Superficial]

–Hope Dworaczyk is absurdly hot too. [Hottest Girls of Myspace]

–Donald Trump loves hiring naked underaged girls. [IDLYITW]

–Important tools for crafting your NCAA bracket. [Losers with Socks]

–All the green St. Patrick’s Day NBA jerseys you ever need to see. [Mac Gs World]

–There are many reasons to dislike Burberry. [Brahsome]

Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.

Mar.13.2008 The March 13 Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy to pay $3000 an hour for

–This is what Eliot Spitzer’s whore looks like. I would fuck her for free, for the record. [Gawker via Going Like Sixty]

–Get yourself psyched up for this year’s NCAA Tournament. [Cuzoogle]

–Brady Quinn blows men for money. At least if you believe if a picture is worth a thousand words. [Busted Coverage]

–Spencer Pratt is bringing his special brand of douchebaggery to Radar. Oh boy. [MediaBistro]

–Egotastic thinks a pregnant Kathleen Robertson is hot. Uh, I respectfully disagree. [Egotastic]

Mar.12.2008 WHOREDIDDLIN DAY THREE: Welcome our new blind Black overlord

Now that sex-fiend Eliot Spitzer is retiring, we get to meet his replacement. Introducing David Paterson. He’s Black, he’s blind, and he’s ready for action!

Because the public schools in New York City could not guarantee him an education without placing him in special education classes, his parents bought a house in Hempstead, on Long Island, where he became the first legally disabled person to attend the district’s public schools. He did well enough to be admitted to Columbia University — he graduated in 1977 with a degree in history — and Hofstra Law School.

Call me crazy, but I think he’s the first blind Black dude to do a lot of stuff. All the other blind Black dudes I know play piano or are dead and played piano. So yeah, I get it, he’s unique.

His impaired vision has helped make him a good listener. Aides brief him by leaving lengthy voice mail messages. He memorizes his speeches.

That’s kind of impressive. And probably makes less work for him. All it takes is blindness for me to not ever read anything again? Seems like a pretty sweet deal! Uh, other than the whole never being able to see anything or anyone you care about. That’s a bit of a drawback.

“When I say I saw something, it’s more like I sensed it,” he said in a recent interview. “I think people’s perception of me sometimes is that I see more than I actually do.”

Well…then you didn’t see it at all, did you? You’re a liar! Didn’t we just learn from the last dude? Lying’s not good! Especially a lie like being a blind guy who says you saw something! That’s horseshit!

He and his wife, the former Michelle Paige, have a son, Alex, 13, and Mrs. Paterson has a daughter, Ashley, 19, from a previous marriage.

This is probably the part I’m most impressed with. I feel like I’d have a great bit of difficulty getting laid if I were blind. Like both in principle and in execution. I’d end up fucking a polar bear or some shit. And believe me, you do not want to fuck a polar bear.

Anyway I think he’ll do a good job. I mean, not at like the Governor’s Archery Conventions, where he’ll totally get SMOKED by Charlie Crist, but he’ll probably do well at stuff like sitting there. Just so long as he doesn’t have to sign stuff, because that could pose a problem.

Mar.11.2008 WHOREDIDDLIN DAY TWO: Spitzer’s wife urged to run

In what is now Day Two of the news swirling around possibly-soon-to-be-former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer and his love of the whores, his wife is being urged to leave by friends.

She stood silently, stunned beside her husband, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, as he read a statement of apology to his family Monday afternoon following disclosure of what is believed to be his love tryst with a high-priced prostitute.

But the words failed to soothe Silda Wall Spitzer’s closest friends, who advised her to take the kids and run.

“They were great together — fun, fabulous to be around. There was never even one small inkling of anything like this,” the friend told the New York Daily News. “If I were her, I would call my mother or my best friend and pack my bags and go someplace far away for six months and take my daughters with me.”

Another pal told the News she is “disgusted” Spitzer betrayed his wife of 20 years. “Oh, poor Silda. She is such a wonderful woman. I cannot even imagine this,” the friend said.

Oh please, if every woman left her Governor husband for paying a lot of money for sex with a strange albeit high-class woman, no one would be married. In fact there probably wouldn’t even be a need for beds in America. So let’s slow down.

Plus, it seems like the thing to do, based on previous precedent, would be to stand by your man, wait for things to die down, write a book, go on Oprah, make some scratch, and never have sex ever again. Oh women. You really are like camels with that. Maybe if you put out a little more, your husband wouldn’t be paying 10k for a blumpkin. That’s right, everything bad that happens is YOUR fault! Ha! Take that!

Mar.11.2008 The March 11 Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy with an erect Dick Vitale

–Learn how to bet on the NCAA Tournament like a pro. [Busted Coverage]

–Remember Brett Favre how he’d want…through video games. [On205th]

–Keely Hazell is the Paragon of Hotness. And I am the Paragon of Virtue. Together, we would have large breasted, pretty children who are Paragons of Something. [Hottest Girls of Myspace]

–Some fine Eliot Spitzer Photoshops, celebrating his whoreloving ways. [Gothamist]

–Angelina Jolie’s stomach is going to explode with an alien, it seems. [WWTDD]

Mar.10.2008 NY Governor Eliot Spitzer doesn’t just like hookers…

He LOVES them. I know, I never cover local politics here, but when I get a news alert from the NY Times saying, “Gov. Eliot Spitzer has informed his most senior administration officials that he had been involved in a prostitution ring, an administration official said this morning,” I HAVE to write about it.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer has informed his most senior administration officials that he had been involved in a prostitution ring, an administration official said this morning.

Mr. Spitzer, who was huddled with his top aides early this afternoon, had hours earlier abruptly canceled his scheduled public events for the day. He is set to make an announcement about 2:15 this afternoon at his Manhattan office.

Mr. Spitzer, a first-term Democrat who pledged to bring ethics reform and end the often seamy ways of Albany, is married with three children.

Just last week, federal prosecutors arrested four people in connection with an expensive prostitution operation. Administration officials would not say that this was the ring with which the governor had become involved.

Haha in that photo above, Spitzer couldn’t POSSIBLY look any more like a man who enjoys the company of a good prostitute. There might even be a tranny hooker underneath the desk servicing him. Great podium usage, if that’s the case.

I really think this is the kind of story that speaks for itself, so I will take this opportunity to point out that Eliot Spitzer is a proud alumnus of my high school! And his kids are going there now! So this is really great for our alumni community! Though I’m assuming he probably wasn’t buying whores at our high school. But man, if he was, I really missed out! All I got was a hefty tuition bill and an occasional pointy-nosed Jewish BJ. Sigh.