Drunkenness | Blog of Hilarity

Entries Tagged ‘Drunkenness’

The August 27 Hot Link Orgy

Aug.27, 2008 in BoH Sports, Celebrity Nonsense, Girls I Would Copulate With, Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy with flying gymnast fists

Olympic starlet Alicia Sacramone is a menace to society…don’t ever let her punch you in the face, like this dude

-The 5 best drunk women at baseball games (w/ video)
-Stacy Keibler has legs, an awareness of how to use them
-5 movies Vin Diesel didn’t totally suck in. Boiler Room may or may not be featured 5 times
-Danielle Lloyd flashed her ass around in the classiest way possible (NSFW ads)

-Women in 80s workout videos had a certain charm (w/ video)
-Hayden Panettiere swam around in a bikini and perhaps slipped a nip
-Some of the absolute worst fight scenes of all time (w/ video)
-Nokia’s new phone is pretty badass

-Gamers are doing really weird, phallic things with the new Spore video game
-Fight over bananas ends in a father chopping off his son’s hand
-More hilarity with exercise balls: A kid gets smashed in the face in this one (w/ video)
-5 essentials for tailgating

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Jessica Simpson now just a beer slut

Aug.20, 2008 in Celebrity Nonsense, Girls I Would Copulate With

I remember growing up I would see girls in bikinis in the local deli preening for some beer product. They were just talentless chicks looking for a gig. Well, seems fitting for Jessica Simpson then doesn’t it?

Singer, actress and North Texas native Jessica Simpson will soon be marketing beer, according to an announcement expected today from a local brewing company.

Jessica Simpson has signed on as spokeswoman for Stampede Light Plus, made by Dallas’ Stampede Brewing Co.

Ms. Simpson will serve as a spokeswoman and appear in ads in stores for Stampede Light Plus, which is made by Dallas’ Stampede Brewing Co.

But she won’t be just another pretty face: Ms. Simpson is taking a 15 percent stake in the brewer. Terms of the transaction were not disclosed.

“She’s the face of the brand now,” said Lawrence Schwartz, Stampede’s president and chief executive, who says sales have more than doubled in the past year.

Wow! Stampede AND Stampede Light! That’s a pretty big coup for her career! I guess Natty Light wasn’t looking for a celebrity endorser? A little too high brow for Jessica, I guess.

Seriously is she hard up for cash? Because no joke, I will pay her for sex. Like I don’t expect her to jump at the offer, but think about it. I have a lot of green M&Ms just sitting around with nowhere to go. Just saying. Think about it.