Jun.25.2009 Drugs are bad, even in a bikini
Drunk girls are incredibly annoying to me, other than the part where they’re more inclined to allow me access to their orifices. Now put a girl on acid, remove the possibility of sex, and multiply that annoyance by 1000 and you get this video.
I’ve never done acid, so it’s entirely possible that I just don’t “get it,” but I’m not sure I see the benefit of the experience. I think enough outlandish shit when I’m sitting in my room alone without any stimuli, I don’t think I need to magnify that with drugs. Like the other day I started pondering how finite we are in this infinite world, and how meaningless so many of the things we do are (excluding this site which is of course the most important thing ever). And I thought I stumbled onto something poetic and meaningful, but then as I tried to articulate to a friend the brilliance that had accidentally come about, I’m pretty sure I rambled like I just got off a meth binge. So to get at the heart of my point, thoughts are for assholes and drug addicts.
Plus taking drugs in the woods is just dumb. Yeah, let me get stoned off my ass in a place with wild animals that are pretty much just monsters. That seems like a good idea. It’s probably really safe to get high off my ass and end up licking a bear because I thought it was a huge Teddy Graham. Brilliant.
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Jun.12.2009 Quote of the Day
It’s pretty much commonly accepted by anyone with a brain that the War on Drugs is a farce. But sometimes it’s fun to take a look at the other side and the satisfaction they get from a job well done. Pointless, but well done nonetheless.
Police recovered more than 35 pounds of hallucinogenic mushroom chocolate bars and a felony amount of marijuana Wednesday evening that would have been heading to the Bonnaroo music festival today.
“Mushrooms are similar to LSD in the fact that they cause people to hallucinate, and like LSD a person can die the first time they use these poisonous mushrooms, especially in the condition that they were in here,” said Murfreesboro police spokesman Kyle Evans.
“Being baked into chocolate makes it a lot easier to consume more than is needed for the high in a short amount of time and can lead to overdose.”
“The detectives in the vice unit as a whole should be proud of this investigation,” he said. “There’s no telling how many lives they may have saved by keeping these drugs off the streets.”
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Jun.05.2009 The June 5 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with beer
Ridiculous beer pong shots always strikes my fancy
funnyinteresting
-The best post on David Carradine’s death you’ll see today
-5 things you really should know about beer this summer
-The 7 best foods to eat when you’re stoned
-21 crazy facts about women’s asses
-This dude must be winning at life (funny pic)
-The 10 weirdest statues of naked dudes
-Probably not an iPhone you’d want to buy
-I do not trust this baby one bit
-Betty White is a fucking creep
-77 ways to know you’re too stoned
-I don’t know what the fuck is going on with Tracy Morgan here (funny pic)
-The 10 most unnecessarily caffeinated consumer products
-The 10 most subscribed to YouTube assholes you’ve never heard of
girls
-I’m not sure this is what she wanted when she asked him to “put it in her butt”
-Hot regular college girls by the pool in their bikinis. Is there anything better?
-Good God check out the ass on Sugey Abrego
-Megan Fox: World’s sexiest pot smoker?
-The Orlando Magic cheerleaders are kind of whorebags
-A list of girls you want to “hate fuck”
-A sex tape of a German model to celebrate German Model Sex Tape Friday, a holiday I made up just now (NSFW)
-It’s amazing how Mandy Ashford can be so naked, yet show no naughty bits…hot
-Regular (flat-chested :( ) girl photographs her boobs every day to document their growth (links to NSFW)
-The 10 hottest girlfriends of NBA Finals stars ever
May.14.2009 Quote of the Day
This might be the most fantastically quote-filled article ever…from a drunken traffic stop. Read the whole thing for more laughs.
“During (our) interview, the driver was irate at the passenger and kept yelling at him for asking the police if we had any weed,” the officers wrote.
As police interviewed Belviso and Skupien, a passenger still in the rear seat of the car, Steven Carney, 17, opened another beer.
When Palermo asked Carney what he was doing, he told him, “If I’m going to jail, I might as well be (expletive) juiced.”
Palermo told Carney to put the beer down, but, in the officers words, “he kept chugging it.” When Palermo attempted to take the beer from Carney, the teen responded by throwing the beer at the officer.
Carney then got out of the car and attempted to fight the officers, flexing his muscles and shouting “What the (expletive).”
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Mar.17.2009 Quote of the Day
When police offers randomly come to your house demanding you strip and asking where the drugs are, odds are you’re not in a great situation. It’s even worse when the cop is wearing a fake uniform that probably loosely resembles a Halloween costume.
New Orleans police have a warning for the public: beware of a police impersonator.
In two separate incidents, a man wearing a dark-blue uniform-style shirt with an unknown type of patch forced his way into homes, police said.
On Sunday, police said the man told a woman to get into his car because “I’m the police.” The man then went inside her house and forced the woman to undress, asking “where are the drugs?” The man left after the victim told him she did not know where any drugs were, police said.
On Monday night, a man wearing a uniform went to another woman’s house. Police said the woman let the man in her house, at which the man told her to undress and demanded “where are the drugs?”
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Mar.03.2009 Women, don’t hide weed in your anus
This might be my favorite opener to a news story ever. The less said, the better.
Some scenarios law officers just can’t be trained for, such as finding a bag of marijuana produced from the rectal area of a female recently engaged in coitus with another female.
Responding to a call of a suspicious vehicle in the parking lot of the Dollar General Store on US 231 shortly before 1 a.m. Friday , deputies found two partially nude females, ages 24 and 20, engaged in sexual activity in a 2005 white Nissan.
After allowing the women to get dressed, Deputies observed multiple white pills in the vehicle, according to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office incident report. The 20-year-old woman told officers the pills, a generic form of Lortab, were hers and she did not have a prescription for them. The woman then confessed to having a baggie of marijuana, which she “retrieved…from her rectum.”
Actually, the title of this post is probably a bit misleading. It says “Women, don’t hide weed in your anus” but it probably should say “Women, don’t hide weed in your anus and ESPECIALLY DON’T CONFESS TO IT AFTER GETTING CAUGHT DOING NASTY (AWESOME) THINGS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN YOU STUPID WHORE”. But that’s probably a bit wordy. And not very SEO friendly.
There was no way the cops would have ever found out after her confession. If you find two women sexing each other up in a parking lot, trying to do a cavity search immediately after probably wouldn’t go over too well. Particularly when you do it without a glove and with both your hands in the air. But it’s Spring Break in Panama City…I’m pretty sure that the cops there are allowed a certain amount of sexual indiscretions because WOO BEADS!
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Mar.03.2009 Legalize pot and tax the crap out of it
Via Overcompensating is this clever little comic about how pot will heal all the problems of society (other than the guy in the second panel’s very real drug addiction…he should probably seek rehab rather than more drugs).
I definitely like the idea of weed being legalized. Not because I smoke a lot because I haven’t in a long time, but because I think frankly people don’t spend enough time sitting on their couch, eating junk from 7-11, and watching kids’ shows. If we don’t support 7-11 and that show Dragon I used to watch when hungover and/or stoned then how will they survive in this difficult economy. Dragons have economic needs too, assholes.
