Some 3rd graders in special ed classes in Georgia plotted to kill their teacher, but were “thwarted” by school officials. Story of the year? Perhaps.

The students allegedly brought to school a broken steak knife, a roll of duct tape, handcuffs, ribbon and a crystal paperweight in a bid to kill their teacher, Belle Carter, the paper reports.

“We did not hear anybody say they intended to kill her, but could they have accidentally killed her? Absolutely,” Tanner said. “We feel like if they weren’t interrupted, there would have been an attempt. Would they have been successful? We don’t know.”

The children, ages 8 and 9, were apparently mad at the teacher because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair, Tanner said.

“It’s our understanding that she did in fact discipline one of the students, and they did not like it, he told FOX News. “After that, she began to plot revenge on the teacher.”

Tanner told FOX News not all of the students were in on all the details of the allegedly plot.

“We believe that some of them knew the entire plot and some of them were … just asked to bring other items in but they might not have realized the entire plot,” he said.

That last quote is kind of amazing in every way. Some of them didn’t realize? No way! I find that hard to believe.

A broken steak knife, roll of duct tape, handcuffs, ribbon and a crystal paperweight? Wow, they’re like a troupe of retarded little MacGuyvers. Or maybe they just brought that in for lunch. Who can tell! Retarded kids are so savvy!

Anyway, frankly, if you get outfoxed by a group of retarded third graders, I’m pretty sure you deserve to die. That’s like standing under a cartoon anvil that weighs two tons. Sure, that coyote looked trustworthy and handsome, but you should know better. You really should.

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Apparently any asshole can have a fashion line these days. Exhibit A: Another slut from The Hills is opening her own.

THE Hills honey Heidi Montag is launching her answer to her MTV enemy Lauren Conrad’s clothing line, and planning to celebrate in “style” very soon.

We’re told, “Heidi has been [searching] for a place in LA to throw the launch party” for her fashion line — aptly called “Heidi Wood” — though the snitch in her camp said the faux-chested blonde is struggling to find a venue. A rep for Montag — not her former boyfriend/manager Spencer Pratt — assured us she will get her pick of prime nightlife spots.

I hope that the fashion line isn’t like what she’s wearing in the photo above. When you’re a thin blond with cartoonishly large breasts, I’d like to believe that you shouldn’t wear clothes that make you look like a frumpy librarian. In fact, this may be some sort of evil scheme to have armies of big breasted blonds clad in frumpy outfits that deemphasizes the things that make them special, interesting, or unique in any way. This is like a scheme that a James Bond villain would come up with. Damn you Heidi Montag. Your vacant stare and moon face led me to believe you were nothing but a buoyant simpleton. But that was what you wanted all along, wasn’t it? Crafty.