Apr.23.2008 Celebrity Apprentice to feature 100% more double-murder

OJ Simpson is in the running for the next season of The Celebrity Apprentice. That’s if NBC and Donald Trump are willing to bite the bullet. No, knife. Bite the knife.

IT looks like there could be “killer” ratings in store for TV’s “The Celebrity Apprentice” if OJ Simpson gets his way. Page Six has learned the creepy double-murder acquittee has asked Donald Trump to allow him to appear on the top-rated NBC show next season.

“Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious,” our source said. “There’s a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson.”

See, they’re looking at this all the wrong way. Never mind the “heat” associated with OJ. That shit was 13 years ago now. Once something is 13 years old, it’s fair game. Murder accusations, tragedies, girls, it’s the Rule of 13.

If it were my show, I’d play it up. I’d have OJ doing a marketing campaign, complete with a commercial for special guest company Ginsu! Or he’d have to do some sort of business that involved slashing the throats of pigs. Or perhaps a modeling agency focusing solely on white blond models. Really, the possibilities are endless! And if you do the modeling agency one, there’s probably a better than 60% chance that one of them will end up with a black eye and OJ will be standing there with swollen knuckles and an “Aw shucks” look on his face, perhaps looking down and dragging his feet in the dirt. RATINGS!

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