Nov.21.2008 Real life Carls from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
I came across this today and found it to be pretty awesome. Adult Swim is casting real life versions of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force for some reason (probably to get innocent gentlemen like me to post it), but they’ve made some interesting finds. Take a look at a couple of the better ones:
I’d say the last one is my fave. The impression isn’t so strong, but he’s really living the Carl lifestyle. And the gag about the box and his mouth is just hilarious. Well played, you viral marketing geniuses. See, you don’t have to make the idiots in Boston think they’re getting blown up to have an effective marketing tool!
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Nov.03.2008 The 6 cartoons most likely to make you get out and vote
It’s that time of the year where everyone casts a vote for a candidate but, more importantly, casts their support for democracy. But if all the celebrity endorsements and media blitz weren’t enough to make you run out and place a vote for either of the two Presidential candidates, maybe these cartoons might make you see the importance of getting out and voting.
South Park
Episode: Douche or Turd
Lesson: Turd sandwiches make viable political candidates; Your vote doesn’t matter
In this pre-2004 Presidential Election episode, South Park Elementary’s mascot, the Cow, has been deemed inappropriate by PETA. So the school decides to elect a new mascot with candidates created by the students. This leads to a campaign being run by a Turd Sandwich and a Giant Douche.
And it featured a call to action from Diddy to Stan to get out and vote.
At the end of the episode, Stan decides to vote for Turd Sandwich. But then, the school opts to just use the Cow mascot again instead of the Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich, meaning Stan’s vote was completely meaningless. Kind of like being someone trying to vote for Al Gore in Florida in 2000.
While I would hate to dispute the credentials of Turd Sandwich, I’d have to question his existence in the first place. A Giant Douche has its uses…after all, women in the WNBA have to be cleaned somehow. But a Turd Sandwich? Why that doesn’t sound delicious at all, sir.
The Simpsons
Episode: Treehouse of Horror VII’s “Citizen Kang”
Lesson: Democracy just doesn’t work, particularly when aliens are involved
Loveable aliens (well, as loveable as someone trying to destroy our planet can be) Kang and Kodos decide that the best way to enslave all Earthlings is by taking over for Presidential candidates Bob Dole and Bill Clinton. Here’s how Kang, in the form of Bob Dole, won votes at a pre-election stump speech.
Unfortunately Kang’s promises of miniature flags never came to fruition as, instead, upon winning the election (yes, Bob Dole won the election…I know, that’s a bit far-fetched even for a cartoon), he opted to enslave all of the Earthlings to build a laser to attack another planet. Which sounds illogical until you realize that it undoubtedly saved us an attack from Neptunian terrorists and their weapons of mass destruction.
Oct.16.2008 The 11 dumbest things cartoons have taught us
Psychologists say that children can be deeply affected by some of the media they take in growing up. So these staples of cartoons that we all watched probably weren’t the best things for us to learn.
Swimming in a pool of gold coins
Sure, Scrooge McDuck always seemed to be having a ball when he’d dive into his money pit and splash around. He’d even take coins into his mouth and spit them back up. Take a look:
You know what’d happen if you dove headfirst into a pile of gold coins? It wouldn’t be a dip in glorious excess, no sir. You’d probably be paralyzed at best. Or dead at worst. No wonder the AIG braintrust ran the company so poorly…that’s probably what the executives did on all of their corporate retreats, leaving bits of brain matter leaking from their heads like a half-finished bowl of Jello.
Abandoning your children
Look at that photo of Dora the Explorer above…you know what you see up there other than Dora? A ball, a drum, a baseball bat, even a freaking monkey. You know what you don’t see? PARENTAL SUPERVISION. And this is what happens:
As much as I’d like to believe that I could just leave my kids behind and let them figure life out on their own, they’d probably end up in much more of a Lord of the Flies situation than they would a Dora the Explorer or Rugrats one. In no situation is it okay for anyone to go, “Welp my little ethnic child, here’s a singing map and a bag full of crap…go explore!” How the fuck do they even know that she’ll eat? All I’m saying is that, if I had any say, I’d probably be feasting on some monkey brains within 10 minutes of being in the jungle.
Eating pizza with random crap on it would be delicious
The Ninja Turtles would always be eating pizza, which is bad enough for you healthwise. But then they’d throw stuff like peanut butter, taco meat, butter, baby seal, I dunno….human brains maybe…on there. You know what’s good on pizza? Like maybe 10 things on Earth. Pizza places aren’t terrified of change or something, there’s just stuff that goes well on pizza and stuff that doesn’t. Unfortunately, your car keys weren’t meant to go with sauce and mozzarella, Ninja Turtles. And yes, I’m looking at you McDonald’s pizza.
The borderline junkie mentality to pizza wasn’t the best thing either. Even in the cartoon that bit them in the ass, like when Shredder made a pizza place to capture them in the clip above. Is it any wonder 90% of Ninja Turtles fans grew up to be heroin addicts according to a study I just fabricated 4 minutes ago?
Mar.12.2008 The March 12 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy to eliminate the weak
–Darwinism is alive and well. [Brahsome]
–It might be wise to leave tree removal to the experts (w/ video). [Tasty Booze]
–Laura Lee is a rare reason to not hate Boston. [Hottest Girls of Myspace]
–Jenna Jameson would probably fuck you to save an animal. Pick up that gun and that rabbit! [The Superficial]
–Britney Spears has finally given in and become a cartoon. [IDLYITW]
