Jun.30.2008 Don’t sell your life away and expect big money

Thinking about selling your life away? Prepare to be disappointed if you’re anything like this Australian dude.

A man who auctioned his life — his house, his car, his job, even his friends — on eBay said Monday he is disappointed with the selling price: almost $384,000.

Ian Usher, a British immigrant to Australia, put everything he owned as well as introductions to his friends on the online auction site after a painful breakup with his wife prompted him to want a fresh start.

“I guess I’m a little bit disappointed at the final price, I’d hoped it to be a little higher than that,” Usher told Nine Network television on Monday. “But I am committed to selling and moving on and making a fresh start.”

He declined to reveal the buyer’s identity, or what his next step would be.

Usher said he had hoped to get at least $480,000 (a half-million Australian dollars) for his life — his house and all its contents, car and a motorcycle, a jet ski, skydiving gear, an introduction to friends and a trial period in his sales job — but that the final result was enough for him to make a new start in life.

Early reports say that the reason bids on the man’s life were lower than expected was because who the fuck wants the life of some asshole who has to sell his life on eBay. In a related story, I once offered a homeless guy $20 to trade places for a day. Under the guise of wanting to see how the other half lived, I rolled around in dirt, found the ugliest trenchcoat I could find, got myself a coffee cup, and prepared to brave the harsh conditions. It was an important sociological experiment to me; I believed that by putting myself in the shoes of the unfortunate, I’d be able to truly appreciate all of the things that I’ve been given in my life. Then after five minutes I got bored and wanted to eat a sandwich so I killed the homeless guy when he came to pick up the keys to my apartment and went to McDonald’s. It’s ok. He’s homeless, he didn’t have a soul anyway.

Find the Jonas Brothers Tour Dates and Madonna Tour Dates at Vividseats.com! We sell Concert Tickets like Avril Lavigne Concert Tickets and Theater Tickets to the hottest shows, such as The Lion King and Wicked.