Oct.06.2008 The October 6 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with poor parking skills
Parallel Parking: You’re doing it wrong
-Ten National Anthem performances you’d probably prefer to forget (w/ video)
-One of the finest stripteases EVER (w/ video)
-Nadine Velazquez lost her top. Poor girl
-Kimbo Slice got knocked the fuck out (w/ video)
-…and that dude who knocked him out pulls some quality tail
-I still heart Andy Samberg, check him out as Mark Wahlberg talking to animals in this clip (w/ video)
-Britney Spears races go karts
-Hilarious post here…7 things rappers can talk about in the recession
-Jennifer Ellison gets naked in her 2009 calendar
-Hockey Moms against Sarah Palin (w/ video)
-Strip monopoly with Kaila Yu (w/ video)
-Beyonce’s ass will not be made available for public consumption
-Miss Great Britain Gemma Garrett is hot
-Racism against Barack Obama? No way
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Oct.01.2008 The October 1 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with a pool
Fat man + small life preserver = Surprising triumph for all involved
-Guess Whose Boobs? 70s edition
-Michelle Hunziker is classy, both in and out of a bikini
-Vanessa Arias is a hot Latina actress
-Warner Bros exec tells Harry Potter fans to fuck off (w/ video)
-Seven TV shows that need to end
-Who’s the hotter big-boobed Brit, Sophie Howard or Lucy Pinder?
-More on Yvonne Strahovski’s unflappable hotness
-A serious font fail
-Emilia Attias has a smiley crotch
-A reminder: I love Cyanide and Happiness
-Kim Kardashian’s huge ass now gone from Dancing with the Stars
-More on Britney Spears’ sex tape being sold
-A fine collection of ass cleavage here
Aug.20.2008 The August 20 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with fists of fury
Yeah, it’s from a movie…but let’s pretend it’s not
-Kristen Bell in a bikini is susceptible to mind control
-More on the unstoppable hotness that is Marzia Prince
-Check out Britney Spears’ voice without studio production (w/ video)
-The Philadelphia Phillies…where gay meets gay jokes
-Emmanuelle Chriqui looks hot in a bikini
-Silvina Luna excels in topless thong photoshoots
-An easy way to sex up soccer: Girls in mud
-College presidents looking to lower the drinking age
-Jenn Sterger is no Fabiola Romero, don’t be mistaken
-Need a chin dildo? Look no further
-How to make the worst music video ever
-WVU girls leave something to be desired
Jul.28.2008 Britney Spears is in Mexico
Britney Spears was in Cabo with some dude over the weekend. I would presume for burritos because I’m unclear as to what else Mexico has to offer.
This dude seems like an upgrade from the other shlubby mooks that she’s been seen with lately and she ALMOST looks serviceable. But then you click the thumbnail and it’s sort of like, “Wow, I didn’t realize Britney Spears was an Ethopian.” Which she must be because either she’s got a robust stomach that’s either from not enough eating or too much eating. Or she has an alien about to bust out. Either way, it’s not an ideal situation.
Also note to Britney: If you’re going to hire women to be around you and film you, you should probably have them be fatter than you. Many an ugly girl has employed this strategy to great success. See? These are the kind of practical things celebrities just don’t pick up due to not being a part of the general populous.
[More here, if you're into such things]
Jun.25.2008 Britney Spears gets overnight visits with her sons
Are you a fan of negligent parenting by faded musicians? Well avert your eyes from Tommy Lee’s pool and redirect them to Britney Spears, because she just got some more custody time!
Britney Spears was awarded overnight privileges with her sons, PEOPLE confirms.
The pop star hasn’t had her children overnight since January following her forced hospitalization at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
A closed-door hearing Tuesday, attended by Spears and her ex, Kevin Federline, also saw the return of Spears’s first divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser, who has officially replaced Stacy Phillips.
L.A. Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini confirmed that Spears’s parenting coach attended the hearing and made statements to the court, and that Spears’s demeanor before the commissioner was “businesslike.”
In related news, any guy with a bottle of Schnapps, a Twinkie, and a desire to pretend it’s still 1999 was granted overnight privileges with Britney Spears.
Dec.12.2007 Britney Spears will not acknowledge your human “Laws”
Britney Spears claimed sickness today as a reason for not showing up for a scheduled deposition with K-Fed and their lawyers regarding their ongoing custody battle.
Britney Spears called in sick to a scheduled deposition in her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline, his attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, said at a press conference Wednesday.
“Approximately 10 minutes after her council appeared they were notified that because of an illness or medical condition Ms. Spears would not appear today and consequently the deposition is not going forward,” he said.
Spears, 26, was supposed to show at Kaplan’s L.A. office at 10 a.m. to face a barrage of questions, including her past drug and alcohol use and her alleged failure to follow court orders, Usmagazine.com had reported.
Wow, she used to have quite an ass. Every time you read about Britney, just remember…she used to look like that. Amaaaaazing.
But now, oh boy, she just has no understanding of responsibility or laws (see: shoplifting). Which is fine if you’re a wealthy celebrity and don’t want to actually be a part of society. But you can’t fight for your kids and do that. I mean, unless you want to teach your kids how to go on coke binges and owe guys named Skeeto money with great regularity. Then you could do both. Because kids need to learn about coke binges somewhere and, really, it begins at home.
