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–Learn how to bet on the NCAA Tournament like a pro. [Busted Coverage]

–Remember Brett Favre how he’d want…through video games. [On205th]

–Keely Hazell is the Paragon of Hotness. And I am the Paragon of Virtue. Together, we would have large breasted, pretty children who are Paragons of Something. [Hottest Girls of Myspace]

–Some fine Eliot Spitzer Photoshops, celebrating his whoreloving ways. [Gothamist]

–Angelina Jolie’s stomach is going to explode with an alien, it seems. [WWTDD]

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–Learn Flair Bartending and bartend like a man, instead of an alien-fucking-twink like Tom Cruise. [Mac Gs World]

–The top 5 songs you should be playing to mourn Brett Favre’s retirement. Before killing yourself, ideally. [Busted Coverage]

–Hotlanta from Flavor of Love: Illiterate, responds to anything written about her. [Shabooty]

–Do you need an excuse to link to pictures of Lauren Conrad? “No, you don’t,” said my subconscious. [A Socialite's Life]

–Does Patrick Swayze only have five weeks to live? More important question: Do these jeans make me look fat? That has WAY more bearing on my life. [The Superficial]

Legendary Green Bay Packers QB Brett Favre, he of the “waffling about retiring every year”, is actually retiring it seems. Yay!

FOX Sports and ESPN.com are reporting that Packers quarterback Brett Favre will not return for an 18th NFL season.

Favre told Packers coach Mike McCarthy that he will retire. That’s according to ESPN.com, who talked to Favre’s agent Bus Cook.

Only two years removed from perhaps the worst season of his career, Favre had a resurgence in 2007. He broke several career records, including Dan Marino’s career mark for career touchdown passes, powered the Packers to an NFC North title and 13-3 regular season record and was named to his ninth Pro Bowl.

He deserves this retirement. Not only because he’s basically been a mediocre QB for years, but because now he can pop all the painkillers he wants! If I were an NFL QB who had an addiction to painkillers, as soon as I retired, I’d probably get a waterfall that just drops mountains of liquified Vicodin all over me. Then I’d rub it all over myself. Kind of sexually. Because Vicodin gets me off. Oxycontin…not so much. It’s just too needy. I don’t dig that in my sexual relationships with drugs.