May.27.2008 Jessica Biel is just a girl

At a Florida Marlins game this weekend…

You know what makes me sad? Reminders that women aren’t perfect. Oh I know you’d think with their emotional flexibility, logic, and ability to converse about a variety of things that women are totally unflappable. But then you see one without makeup and it’s like “What the fuck, you didn’t tell me you were part gargoyle?” Note to women: Please never do anything wrong and never fail to keep yourself looking like an airbrushed calendar model and we’re all good. Your imperfections remind me of how perfect I am and how I’ll never be able to find anyone who’s my equal. So let’s work on that together. And by together, I mean you, alone, in a room, while I try to sleep with your sister. Not my fault your mom couldn’t get enough of your father’s jizm.

[More hot pedestal-shattering pics at WWTDD]

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