Sep.17.2008 Brad Pitt is the king of invading your computer
Searching for Brad Pitt? Turns out that your lust for those eyes and abs might leave you more vulnerable to hackers.
Movie star Brad Pitt has shoved Paris Hilton off the top of a list neither will have coveted being on. A fan entering Pitt’s name in a search engine now has a startling one in five chance of finding a malware-hosting site instead, says McAfee.
Pitt is top of the fake Web site malware league, just ahead of a collection of pop and film stars that reads (in descending order) Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Heidi Montag, Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, George Clooney, and Angelina Jolie.
Hilton no longer even makes the fake Web top ten, but can perhaps take some solace from her continued popularity with spammers.
“Cybercriminals employ numerous methods, yet one of the simplest but most effective way is to trick consumers into infecting themselves by capitalizing on Americans’ interest in celebrity gossip,” commented McAfee’s Jeff Green. “Tapping into current events, pop culture or commonly browsed sites is an easy way to achieve this.”
Poor Brad Pitt. It’s unfair for a man who’s done so much good to be harmful to my cyber-well-being. He does such charitable things like making tons of money off of movies and having sex with Angelina Jolie. Who else would undertake such endeavors??
Also if you have sex with a man pretending to be Brad Pitt, you’re even more likely to get a virus. Including but not limited to HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis, crabs, and gingivitis. The more you know.
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Jun.17.2008 Angelina Jolie is so cool.
The hype for Angelina Jolie’s summer blockbuster Wanted is going into full swing and it all seems to focus on how “cool” she and her lovah Brad Pitt are.
“It’s a little intimidating, someone like her who is presented as a goddess. [But] it takes, like, 30 seconds and you figure out she’s just a cool woman,” Wanted actor Thomas Kretschmann said at the film’s press day Monday.
The German actor, who plays an assassin in the action flick out June 27, also described Jolie as “a cool mommy.”
But Jolie isn’t the only “cool” person in her household. Costar Common calls Brad Pitt “a good dude.”
“We hung out and he was a cool cat,” said the rapper-turned-actor.
Well well well isn’t everyone just sooooooo cool? Ooh we’re all rich and attractive, look how COOL we are. I feel like there was a gun to the head of Common and that Nazi dude by Brad and Angelina’s publicist who was like, “They’re being seen as too mother/fatherly, let’s push how COOL and AWESOME they are even though they adopt children covered in sand.” Whatever.
I guess she is pretty cool for a mom though. Anyone who’d let me suckle on ample bosoms like that is pretty cool in my book. I’d probably breastfeed until I was 26 if I were her kid. Though I guess it’d be awkward if you beat off while gaining sustenance. Believe me, I did it in a California Pizza Kitchen once. It was not well-received.
May.13.2008 Brad Pitt sucks at tattoos
There are few things as annoying as a shitty tattoo (part of the reason Megan Fox isn’t the most amazing thing ever to me). Well, welcome to the club Brad Pitt.
Brad’s unusual back tattoo comprises groupings of horizontal black lines, with bizarre boxed shapings below.
The strangest combination appears to be inspired by a map of the levees in New Orleans, which was ravaged by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 when the systems failed.
More than 1,800 people died in the storm and during the rescue debacle which followed, mostly the poor, sick and disadvantaged. Costing around $81billion, it was also the costliest disaster in U.S. history.
This latest etching joins previous markings of Otzi the Ice Age caveman on Brad’s inner left forearm and a Sanskrit Buddhist blessing for Cambodian-born Maddox on his lower back.
Brad, who has been dating Angelina, 33, since 2005, also has the actress’ birthdate written in Khmer on his stomach.
Well, the Khmer tattoo is fine. Who doesn’t have their body adorned with Khmer birthdates? Oh wait, I thought that was a Kumar tattoo. Sorry, I don’t know “things” per se.
Anyway the only way that having a tattoo of New Orleans’ levies on your body is okay is if you’re from New Orleans or if you like to have trannies named Katrina ejaculate on your back. That’s fun from an ironic standpoint for everyone involved!
Mar.31.2008 Brad and Angelina aren’t married. Unless they are.
Well nothing gets me as excited as a celebrity wedding. Other than perhaps a bout with prostate cancer. But you may care that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie didn’t tie the knot over the weekend.
Despite reports that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt wedded in a New Orleans church Saturday, a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE there was “no wedding.”
The family spent a weekend in New Orleans two weeks ago – as Pitt broke ground on his Make It Right project to help rebuild the city’s Lower Ninth Ward – but they have recently been in the Austin, Texas, area while Pitt films Tree of Life with Sean Penn.
Jolie, who stars in the action film Wanted, opening in June, is pregnant and due later this year.
I don’t know how a marriage rumor starts. Does some random person just elect to go, “BAH THEY GOT MARRIED” and place a call to Star Magazine and Star Magazine is all like “Okay crazy person who has no sources, we like the cut of your jib. Let’s run it today!” Thank God a credible news outlet like People is there to keep these outlandish reports in check.
And New Orleans? Seriously? Does everything this bitch Angeline Jolie does have to revolve around poor brown people? I wouldn’t be surprised if she adopted the homeless guy I see every day at Union Square. While you and I see him wearing feces-shoes, Angelina Jolie sees opportunity.
Mar.26.2008 Obama and Brad Pitt are practically brothers
Well I guess Barack Obama is already a brother but still. Some genealogy researchers have found odd familial ties for the Presidential candidates.
This could make for one odd family reunion: Barack Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt’s girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.
Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society found some remarkable family connections for the three presidential candidates — Democratic rivals Obama and Clinton, and Republican John McCain.
Clinton, who is of French-Canadian descent on her mother’s side, is also a distant cousin of singers Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette. Obama, the son of a white woman from Kansas and a black man from Kenya, can call six U.S. presidents, including George W. Bush, his cousins. McCain is a sixth cousin of first lady Laura Bush.
“You’d think with all that singing talent in the family she’d be able to carry a tune,” Clinton’s senior adviser Philippe Reines said. “But now it makes much more sense how she snagged a Grammy.”
This is kind of stupid. Yeah we’re all from the same like two or three people, who exchanged jizms and sweet I love yous and awkward cumshots and perhaps condom breakage and an attempted purchase of Plan B pills but the Duane Reade down the block didn’t carry it and then you tried to find it but they were out all over town and you’re like, “Oh fuck,” so then you tell her you love her but say you’re not ready to have a kid so you talk her into getting an abortion and there’s a couple weeks to think about it and she decides she’s going to keep the baby but is afraid to tell you so she pretend she was getting the abortion but she didn’t get it, she didn’t get it at all and then ten months later you see her pushing around a baby in the supermarket and you’re like “You lying whore” and then realize your child is related to Barack Obama. It happens all the time.
