Mar.12.2008 John Mayer’s kind of nutty

I get that mental illness is kind of whatever and that people have to cope with it. But keeping prescription pills to keep you functioning normally when not totally required? Kind of weird, John Mayer.

JOHN Mayer keeps a pharmaceutical pick-me-up in his pocket. The Grammy winner says he has a supply of anti-anxiety drug Xanax with him at all times to combat any downward spirals.

“There are these incidental kinds of loopholes in my brain, where the wires can cross for a second and the hard drive crashes,” he tells Best Life, adding that his first “anxiety bender” occurred when he was in his 20s. “You can create dark neighborhoods in your mind as easily as you can create rural wonderlands.”

…you can create dark neighborhoods in your mind as easily as you create rural wonderlands? Do you really talk like that John Mayer? Like seriously? I mean, I get you’re a lyrical and soulful guy and you play your melodic guitar rhythms in a melancholy way to conjure up all kinds of images for the girls that try to get me to fuck you to the songs while picturing your stupid head (and occasionally having me wear a John Mayer mask, which is actually hot for the both of us), but come on.

I guess I’d be popping Xanax too though if I were in a place where gas prices hadn’t topped two dollars yet. What a magical land filled with with whimsy and wonder. Where SUVs roam free and the Middle East feeds us until our bellies are full of all kinds of fuel-based products. Oh the land of fantasy. That’s what you’re all about John Mayer. Take me there!

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Mar.05.2008 The March 5 Hot Link Orgy

The hottest orgy to leave me kind of tired. Too tired to come up with a clever quip here.

–An Australian streaker gets the hit to the face his dumb ass deserves. [On205th]

–Allison Stokke is less attractive in mugshot form. [Busted Coverage]

–A Shaquille O’Neal impersonator is not doing good things for his name. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

–Is there ANYTHING you can’t catch from Amy Winehouse? [Best Celeb Gossip]

–Yahoo Sports is getting all kinds of heat from the NFL. [Awful Announcing]

–Your hero editor is emoing it up over at Cuntery. I’m not going to bore you with it here on the big show, but if you care, check it out. [Cuntery]