Oct.06.2008 Anna Kournikova went to a charity event, stood there

From Friday night’s 2008 YouthAIDS Gala…

You know, it’s rare, but I have to take a change on my usual stance of delivering just hurtful words and applaud Anna Kournikova. It’s great to see her coming out in support of a cause that few people get behind. Yes, AIDS is bad, but sometimes you need to step up and say, “Hey, AIDS has rights too.” I assumed that’s what YouthAIDS is all about, providing children with AIDS so that they don’t have to go diseaseless. Sure, more and more children are infected with a serious illness each year, but we can’t stop until every child has an illness to call their own.

I’ve launched my own campaign to that end, but it doesn’t have a formal “name” or “strategy” yet, beyond the usual combination of wine coolers and Hannah Montana DVDs. We’ll get there, though. Dare to dream!

[Even more HQ photos here, if you're into such things]

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Sep.03.2008 African prostitutes are magical!

Scientists have discovered that some Kenyan prostitutes may be immune to AIDS. What does this mean to you other than that perhaps you can have unprotected sex with more Kenyan whores? Read on!

Seriously if you expect me to search out pics of African prostitutes, you’re sadly mistaken

Researchers in Canada report discovery of unusual proteins in a small group of Kenyan sex workers that appear to be associated with resistance to infection with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

The discovery could lead to the improved design of vaccines and drugs to fight the deadly virus, which infects an estimated 40 million people worldwide, the scientists say in a new report.

In the new study, Adam Burgener and colleagues note that 140 of more than 2000 sex workers studied in Nairobi, Kenya, appear resistant to HIV infection. Although evidence suggests that certain biological factors in their vaginal fluid may play a role in resistance, the exact identity of these substances was unclear.

The scientists used a high-tech analytical method to compare differences among proteins in vaginal fluids from HIV-resistant women and those infected with the virus or susceptible to it. HIV-resistant women had proteins significantly different from other women. Vaginal fluids of the HIV-resistant women had higher levels of proteins with anti-viral and anti-inflammatory actions.

Sure, this research is valuable, but I bet the taste test portion of things was probably less than desirable.

I do wonder how the scientists found out about this though. Did someone take a special “research” trip to Kenya? Did a scientist get caught by his wife looking up black hookers and then have to cover it up with this elaborate story about researching HIV-resistant African hookers? Inquiring minds need to know!

Jul.25.2008 This soup is HUGE in San Francisco

This is an ACTUAL product found in a supermarket in the Bronx. Reportedly, this was the only soup that Robert Reed would eat when he was stricken by illness before his death.

[Thanks for the tip Carlos. You should have sent it sooner though; it seems like you sat on the Cock for too long]

Jun.20.2008 SHOCKING NEWS: Faith healing may not work

Some teenager died because his family believes in faith healing. Light-hearted fun story to kick off your day!

Authorities say a teenager from a faith-healing family died from an illness that could have been easily treated, just a few months after a toddler cousin of his died in a case that has led to criminal charges.

Tuesday’s death of 16-year-old Neil Beagley, however, may not be a crime because Oregon law allows minors 14 and older to decide for themselves whether to accept medical treatment.

An autopsy Wednesday showed Beagley died of heart failure caused by a urinary tract blockage.

He likely had a congenital condition that constricted his urinary tract where the bladder empties into the urethra, and the condition of his organs indicates he had multiple blockages during his life, said Dr. Clifford Nelson, deputy state medical examiner for Clackamas County.

“You just build up so much urea in your bloodstream that it begins to poison your organs, and the heart is particularly susceptible,” Nelson said.

This faith thing seems like one of those things that’s great in theory, slightly less so in practice. Like when I have sex with many women without a condom and just say a Hail Mary before sliding it in. It’s like, wow, I feel so much better spiritually when there isn’t a thin layer of latex between me and the good Lord. Less good spiritually when sarcoma pops out. But then better spiritually when I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight! Yay faith!

May.08.2008 Designer Marc Jacobs is ear deep in cock

I don’t really care in the least about the comings (pardon the pun) and goings of fashion designers. But this item in today’s Page Six about designer Mark Jacobs and how he’s got so much boy butt that it concerns people amused me.

MARC Jacobs is treading a thin line, his worried friends say. The fashion designer - who has been in and out of rehab over the past two years - showed up to the Costume Institute Gala Monday night two hours late with yet another nameless young man in tow.

“He spends most of his time partying until morning in Paris,” a friend said. “It’s out of control. There’s always a different boy and everyone is worried he’s going to pull a Halston” - referring to the legendary designer whose work suffered due to drinking and drugs. Halston died of AIDS in 1990.

Jacobs, since breaking up with his former rent-boy boyfriend Jason Preston, has been linked with porn star Erik Rhodes, boy toy Austin A. and now the new mystery man. But his personal troubles don’t seem to be affecting him professionally. Word is his champion, Anna Wintour, will honor him at next year’s Costume Institute Gala (this year’s honoree was Giorgio Armani).

If you’re a top level fashion designer, I have to imagine that makes you like King of the Gays (perhaps only falling behind popular homosexual club owner and small shorts supplier in the Gay Food Chain of Command). So given that, I don’t think it’s so shocking he’d be with a lot of dudes. But gay guys are ALWAYS with a lot of dudes. I’m pretty sure even the most conservative gay guy just got fucked seven times in the period it took me to write this post. So Marc Jacobs must be out there like a dictator committing racial extermination, just piling up bodies. Only instead of the gas, they get to familiarize themselves with the entrance to his colon. Just like Pol Pot!

Mar.24.2008 My Gay Roommate: The Final Chapter

So I’ve been out of the apartment with the twink for over a week now. My quality of life has improved. I’m happier. I feel less likely to get attacked by semen. Better times all around.

So what happened in my last night with the apartment?

Well, I finished packing up last Friday night, raring to go. Then, my ladyfriend (nee special lady) ended up spending the night with me. After some quality time, we both had an early wake-up Saturday morning (me for the move, her to meet up with a friend) and opted to go to sleep at around 1:15AM. So who traipses in LOUDLY with another man? That acquired immune disease carrier. And what do you, as a considerate roommate, do when you’re coming home with a strange man to engage in sordid sodomy? You turn up the TV, loudly yell and laugh, and get fucked and spanked violently only for your strange man to leave immediately thereafter.

Neither me nor my girl slept. But at least she heard it. I had a witness to the horror. And that is why we’re as close as we are right now. Or so I assume. It certainly can’t be any redeeming qualities of my own.

I didn’t say a word to him. He’s a psychopath and, frankly, I’d rather not deal with it. But if you’re out there in the world and you’re a gay man (or any man), please feel free to spit in the face of this fine fellow pictured below. His name is “Oalan” though he goes by a series of other anal-sex-infused nicknames such as “Skylore” and “Luca”. He deserves all of your enmity. And while I can’t advocate this per se, let’s say if someone out there were to, oh, offer anal sex to him and then have some sort of chomping teeth in your anus, I wouldn’t be opposed.

These are all pictures taken from his entirely public Facebook, so I’m not violating anything here. What kind of creep do you have to be to post a picture like that last one on a public Facebook? Ugh. If I remember correctly, the caption on it was also “Does this make my bits look small?” Seriously? SERIOUSLY? UGH.This chapter in my life is now over. This category of the blog, a cathartic window into my life, is closed. I have no ill will towards you, homosexuals. Now that I no longer work out amongst you or live with your worst representative, I feel like this is a better situation for all of us. Because it won’t end in me in a pick-up truck asking you to jerk off for me, then beating you mercilessly.

Goodnight, sweet AIDS-ridden, wigged, cancer-filled Prince. May you continue to spread your “joy” to many others.

EDIT: An alternative perspective from said special lady…

Caitlin: god it was awful
Caitlin: it went forever
Caitlin: and then chris kept falling asleep and snoring on top of it
Caitlin: i had a pillow crammed over my head and could still hear it all
Caitlin: i think i started to cry around 3am bc i was just SO tired haha

Just for the record…I was congested. I don’t snore. Ever.

DOUBLE EDIT: I was also asked to run this lookalike photo of my roommate: