Jun.16.2008 Gay marriage just got even sexier
You know what’s hot? Two sexy ladies sharing some lovin’. You can see why this article about a lesbian couple of 55 years got me go..*vomit*…ing.
Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin fell in love at a time when lesbians risked being arrested, fired from their jobs and sent to electroshock treatment.
On Monday afternoon, more than a half-century after they became a couple, Lyon and Martin plan to become the first same-sex couples to legally exchange marriage vows in San Francisco and among the first in the state.
“It was something you wanted to know, ‘Is it really going to happen?’ And now it’s happened, and maybe it can continue to happen,” Lyon said.
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom plans to officiate at the private ceremony in his City Hall office before 50 invited guests. He picked Martin, 87, and Lyon, 84, for the front of the line in recognition of their long relationship and their status as pioneers of the gay rights movement.
Mmm check out those two sexy babes up there. Nothing would get me hotter than that saucy little prune sandwich. Yeah, sniff her hair, Del. Oh…a couple clumps came out eh? Yeah well, that’s what cervical cancer will do I guess. Kiss her naughty place. Yeahhhhh…wait…move that cobweb out of the way first. How did that get there? Just slide a finger in. Don’t worry, put a little WD-40 on your hand and it’ll be fine…wait, looks like there’s something stuck in there. Is that a newspaper that says “Dewey Defeats Truman”? You can use your mouth. Mmm…it looks like you’re a zombie trying to feed yourself off of Albert Einstein.
Oh baby, nothing hotter than a couple of experienced women doing sexy things. Thanks for that, gay marriage. Without you, there would be no “flannel wedding gown” industry.
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Jun.06.2008 The June 6 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with an important thing to remember
–Public Service Announcement: Lindsay Lohan still has fine breasts. [The Beer Goggler]
–An office worker goes a little off the deep end (w/ video). [Loser with Socks]
–High school basketball coach had lesbian sex with female student, is surprisingly hot. Photos are here. [Busted Coverage]
–Who are the sweatiest players in the NBA? [Uncoached]
–50 Cent loves both murder and arson. [Best Celeb Gossip]
Jun.05.2008 Rosie O’Donnell is all about snizz
Rosie O’Donnell is a big ol’ lesbian, which would be cool if she didn’t look like one of those marshmallow pillow things you put on your bed. Anyway, she totally wants to munch on Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Angelina Jolie.
Despite their political differences (which lead to many feuds on The View), Rosie O’Donnell finds conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck nice on the eyes!
“Were you not attracted to Elisabeth Hasselbeck?” Howard Stern asked on his Sirius Satellite radio program Monday. “When you look at her physically, you don’t want her?”
“See, the want is the big thing,” O’Donnell responded. “I find her very attractive. She’s very attractive, I think.”
“Her body is perfect,” Stern said.
“Have you seen her biceps?” O’Donnell replied.
But O’Donnell’s true fantasy woman is pregnant Angelina Jolie (who turned 33 today).
“She’s got a little darkness - a little kind of weird sexuality going on,” she told Stern.
I’m sure Angelina Jolie reads this and is like “Wow, I’m so flattered that Rosie O’Donnell of all people would want to be with me. Sure, let me abandon BRAD PITT for that fucking water buffalo because that would obviously be a big upgrade for me.” Plus Rosie would just eat the kids Angelina adopts, confusing them for delicious little chocolate people. She’s just be sitting there with a brown leg out of the side of her mouth while Angelina mutters “Not again…” Ha because she’s fat! And because little third-worlders are delicious.
I was image searching for Elisabeth Hasselbeck and I was kind of disappointed. Did I completely make this up or didn’t she used to be really hot? Like now she kind of looks like that thing that was dissected in Alien Autopsy. It’s probably the ten kids she’s birthed in the past two years, I guess. Stupid kids, always ruining everything I love. Including pedophilia.
May.16.2008 Ellen will only munch one carpet from here on out
Yay gay marriage. Ellen DeGeneres got all weepy over her plans to marry her chick Portia de Rossi due gay marriage being okay in California still.
Good for them. I think it’s great that gay people can get married in California. “They should be able to suffer just like the rest of us,” said 1980s Comedian in Front of a Brick Wall. Haha, oh man. He says what we’re all thinking.
[Clip from Cele|bitchy]
May.14.2008 Topanga from Boy Meets World is an attention whore or lez
From IsThisHappening…
Yes, that’s Danielle “Topanga” Fishel making out with some slut at McFadden’s at NYC. And apparently, this wasn’t the only girl she made out with that night. Which is cool if she was all like, “Yeahhhhh chicksssss” but less cool if she was like “OMG I AM SO DRUNK WATCH ME MAKE OUT WITH GIRLS, EVERYONE” and even less cool if she’s like a real lesbian because like, let’s be honest, that really doesn’t benefit me at all. Girls being all about other girls was cool when I was like 10, but I’ve really been numbed to it in many ways by now. Unless there’s multiple girls, a cup, and tremendous shame involved, it barely registers to me.
