Planning to rape a child sometime soon? Great news! You’re not going to get killed by the government for it!

Angry politicians vowed to keep writing laws that condemn child rapists to death, despite a Supreme Court decision saying such punishment is unconstitutional.
“Anybody in the country who cares about children should be outraged that [...]

Some kid who totally wasn’t any sort of ethnicity drove his grandmother’s car down MARTIN LUTHER KING BLVD (DING DING) and crashed it. It’s a slow news day, blow me.

Matthew Sands had to look twice at the driver of a red Geo Tracker that passed him on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard Tuesday [...]

So I just caught up with Thursday’s episode of The Colbert Report and holy shit am I sad I didn’t get to this sooner. Colbert discussed the recent study that showed that fruit had usurped cookies as the #1 snack for kids. And then accused the Cookie Monster of pushing a pro-fruit agenda. [...]

Are you a parent in Texas in a good mood? Well here’s something to spoil it. Kids in a small Texas town are being drugged and forced into sex shows. Fun!

In the windowless front rooms of a former day care center in a tiny Texas community, children as young as 5 were [...]

Whatever the past participle may be of “smite” may be, some Boy Scouts in Iowa got fucked up by a tornado. Tornados: 1, Homoerotic children’s clubs: 0, Ties: 1.

Frightened Boy Scouts huddled in a shelter as a tornado tore through their western Iowa campground, killing four people and injuring 48 others who had little [...]