May.09.2008 Chace Crawford describes his perfect date
Chace Crawford is like the gayest thing to ever homo his way out of Buttsexville but for some reason there’s always articles about how he loves women (overcompensation…something I know all too well, sigh). Here’s what he wants in a perfect date.
While Chace Crawford’s Gossip Girl character Nate Archibald may hit all the New York hotspots, in real life the actor plays it cool – especially when it comes to first dates.
“The ideal, I think, when you’re starting out, is something low-key, like playing the [Nintendo] Wii, ordering in pizza and then grabbing a beer,” Crawford, 22, told PEOPLE at Wednesday’s launch of the Stoli Hotel in Manhattan.
But come time to step out, the actor says he’d take off “to a concert in Central Park or an NBA basketball game, if she likes sports.” (His teams of choice? “The Dallas Mavericks and the Dallas Cowboys – I’m a Texas kid!”)
Crawford famously dated Carrie Underwood – until the pair split up over text message – but now says he’s single, being so busy with work and his fitness regimen.
“Part of me being single is focusing on my work right now,” says Crawford, who joked, “I’ve been dating my gym bag for a while now.”
He forgot to mention that his gym bag is where he keeps his 18 inch black dildo. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination.
My perfect date? The kind of girl to come over with her sister and best friend and show a boy a good time. With her mouth. Show off how flexible she is. Just really take control of the situation. Yes, I love when women perform a combination of a circus/vaudeville act for me on a date with a trusted associate. Then blow me while their friend tickles my balls. See you think I’m going one way then I change tracks then I do it again and POW surprise punchine!
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Mar.27.2008 Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford pretend break-up their pretend relationship
ADMIT YOU’RE GAY CHACE CRAWFORD. ADMIT IT. Now his publicist-driven relationship with Carrie Underwood is “over”. Over like Santa Claus’ gift-giving rounds insomuchas IT NEVER REALLY EXISTED.
Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford have split, sources confirm to Usmagazine.com.
The American Idol winner, 25, and the Gossip Girl star, 22, had been dating since last July, but did not go public with their romance until October.
Underwood had spent Thanksgiving at his parents’ home in Dallas and part of her Christmas break with his relatives.
An insider told Us Weekly in December, “His parents are fond of her… they believe ‘Carrie Crawford’ would be a great addition to the family!”
“She’s a classy girl,” Crawford told Us in October.
I honestly don’t know why this bugs the shit out of me so much but it’s just like, dude, you’re so obviously the gayest gay to ever gay his way down Gayville and you’re trying so hard to be straight. And you’re totally stealing female attention away from me, which is totally unfair. It’s like a vegetarian who collects steaks because he’s ashamed of being a vegetarian but never eats them. Or a gay guy who collects vaginas but then vomits every time one comes within a foot of him. Yeah, the last one is better.
Mar.27.2008 JC Chasez and Chace Crawford totally aren’t dating
When I’m not dating another man, I like to do things like JC Chasez. Be photographed publicly in couple-y shots, or of him going to my cabana, or going on Ryan Seacrest’s show to tell people I’m not a ‘mo.
“For the record, we’re both straight,” Chasez declared. “We’re not dating.”
Chasez — who called Crawford a “super nice guy” — said he understands why people may think they’re an item.
“The only time people usually see us together is in some type of photograph, so they just assume that it’s like that,” he said.
“If I’m dating a girl and I’m standing next to another girl, I’m having an affair,” Chasez went on.
“So now, since there hasn’t been any of that smoke out there, if I’m hanging out with a guy, they’re going to make up a rumor.
“It’s just stupid.”
He also added, “Sure his cum tastes like sweet gum drops, but just because I like to hang out with a guy, get photographed with him, then have loads of his semen dripped into my mouth, that doesn’t mean you guys get to continue your rumor-mongering.”
It just seems like a really poor denial. You’re a couple of handsome twink-looking gentlemen who enjoy each other’s company. Just release a sex tape and see what happens. That’s really a panacea for any solution. Sleep with the person you’re linked with, film it, sell it. Stage 3: Profit. Simple! If you think the gays wouldn’t line up around the block to watch Chace Crawford get pounded, you’re mistaken. Never has someone with rosey cheeks being stripped down been so anticipated since I first encountered a Raggedy Ann doll.
Mar.25.2008 Chace Crawford and JC Chasez are totally boning
What happens when two somewhat famous closeted twinks in Chace Crawford and JC Chasez get together? Magic! And recorded assumed buttsex.
Chace Crawford, the Gossip Girl star so pretty that one bat of his lashes is enough to instantly knock crowds of his tweenage fanbase clear unconscious, has been linked quite a bit lately to former NSYNC member JC Chasez. Not even a suspiciously timed and worded Page Six item describing the actor as being “surrounded by women” seemed to quell the rumors regarding these frequent bunk buddies. Now, via cameraphone-equipped operative, we bring you this latest addition to the Defamer Citizen Paparazzi files. It’s an eyewitness account of what Chase and J.C. (can we just give them a celebrity couple’s name already? Chésee it is!) were up to over this unseasonably warm L.A. weekend:
Spotted at the Roosevelt pool, Friday PM:
Pretty boy Chace Crawford darting to the bar from a private cabana. No one seemed to notice but upon further inspection, there was quite the little boys party going in the cabana–JC Chasez hiding out and Chace running around getting drinks. The two were in very different bathing suits–JC in his DG mankini and Chace in his best hetero pair of boardshorts–and later changed into a casual jeans & t-shirt look.
Well, I said many moons ago that Chace Crawford is clearly a gay boy in the midst of a PR campaign to make him look straight. So really the point of this point is how awesome I am.
But the other point is that if you’re a gay celebrity, just be a gay guy. Like I dunno, if I were a young gay boy, I’d be annoyed because where are the gay role models for me to model my dicksuckery after? Or at least get the courage to tell my doting mother that I like a feeling similar to getting cream puffs squeezed out onto my back while sitting on a baseball bat? Be who you are, dammit. For the lil people!
