Nov.19.2008 The 16 best “creepy old man” photobombs
It’s not easy being a guy posing for a photo (take a look at this list for proof). But it’s even worse when you’re an older man trying to be a part of young women’s world. Most of the time you’ll end up coming off as nothing more than a creepy old man ruining a perfectly good photo…and probably their night.
*Note: All of these photos were tagged on a photosharing site with some variety of “creepy old man”, so these are definitely all legit.
The tag on this photo was something to the effect of “That creepy old guy who kept staring into Ali’s eyes”. If your skin looks like poorly marinated beef jerky, you may want to realize that gawking at younger tail isn’t a good way to appear like a well-adjusted older man. Or sane.
Staring dreamily at someone is cool if you’re a cute teenage girl. When you’re an old man with a full mustache, you merely look like you’re pondering how good their stuffed head will look above your mantle.
Sneaking a peak is okay. Everyone does it. But what you don’t want to do is get caught and immortalized forever on some Web site. On the plus side, no doubt that image went into that old man’s spank bank for at least a month while his hideous wife castrated him about not taking care of the lawn gnomes.
There’s nothing worse than coming up behind someone and sniffing them gently when you don’t know them. Especially when you’re the age of their grandfather. I’ll give you a hint…unless this girl has an absolutely awful fetish that would shame anyone she’s ever known, she would never want to sneak a glimpse at your gross old man taffy balls.
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Nov.19.2008 Quote of the Day
Chuck Norris is still a huge Internet meme. Well, turns out you can add “rampant hatred of homosexuals” to his list of “awesome Chuck Norris facts”. From an essay he wrote (Chuck Norris can string that many thoughts together? Wow)…
Bitter activists simply cannot accept the outcome as being truly reflective of the general public. So they have placed the brainwashing blame upon the crusading and misleading zealotry of those religious villains: the Catholics, evangelical Protestants, and especially Mormons, who allegedly are robbing the rights of American citizens by merely executing their right to vote and standing upon their moral convictions and traditional views. [...]
The truth is that the great majority of Prop. 8 advocates are not bigots or hatemongers. They are American citizens who are following 5,000 years of human history and the belief of every major people and religion: Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. Their pro-Prop. 8 votes weren’t intended to deprive any group of its rights; they were safeguarding their honest convictions regarding the boundaries of marriage.
[via]
Nov.19.2008 Kid charged with sexual battery for hugging a social worker
Kids love hugs from strangers. It’s science, at least according to NAMBLA. But a junior high kid might be charged with sexual battery for hugging a school social worker.
A junior high school student could be charged with sexual battery after allegedly giving a school social worker an “inappropriate” hug, MyFOXKC.com reported.
The employee at Chisholm Trail Junior High School told an assistant principal that the 13-year-old boy embraced her in a way that made her uncomfortable, according to police in Olathe, Kan.
A school official contacted the boy about the incident and then released him to his parents, but the local prosecutor is weighing whether to file charges, according to MyFOXKC.com.
“The incident was documented and it has been forwarded to the district attorney’s office,” said Olathe Police Sgt. Johnnie Rowland. “They will review it and decide from that point what action should be taken.”
It’s kind of absurd to charge the kid. In all seriousness, I would guess that the kid hugged her from behind, perhaps had a little teenage erection (or large, depending upon what area of town this is, if you catch my drift) and probably lingered a little long. In which case we should probably applaud this kid for knowing how to seduce a woman at such a young age. Or revile him for getting more action than you have in the past month.
I hope that’s what happened, because that hug would have to be unbearably inappropriate for this to make any sense. I’m talking like a full-on hug that left yogurt stains on her dress. Or the kind of hug I used to get at Boy Scouts that got me my Good at Keeping a Secret badge.
[source]
Nov.19.2008 The November 19 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with homemade sex tapes
Making a sex tape with this hot chick goes horribly wrong.
-Erin Andrews’ breasts require bodyguards
-Pop culture propaganda posters (funny pics)
-13 horny mascots (funny pics)
-Holly Madison takes photos with clothes or without
-The 20 hottest Victoria’s Secret models of all time
-Sexy videos from FHM
-Ever seen a girl get fucked in an office window before? (funnysexy pic)
-Hayley Pascoe is an amazing Australian bikini model
-Hot Latina singers bring breasts to the Latin Grammys
-How to not fool your spouse with your iPhone
-What if Facebook took over your whole life for real? (funny video)
-Suge Knight is a problem
-A fine ass in a thong
-A bunch of stuff that astronauts dropped in space
-Tami Donaldson’s chest is exploding out
-A bunch of hot chicks who love video games
-Awesome old article on “Everyday Rules for Being a Good Wife” (hilarious misogyny alert!)
Nov.19.2008 Bears are taking over the world
America is falling apart right now with a shitty economy, civil unrest, and new episodes of Two and a Half Men. So what could be the final sign of our personal apocalypse? Bears are getting much smarter.
I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Ever since I read my first Berenstain Bears book I was like, “Oh fuck, they’ve gained autonomy.” Who knows what else they’re planning? I’m guessing raping and pillaging can’t be too far away. And trust me when I say that bears are not gentle lovers. My trip across Europe with Paddington taught me a lot. Including that there was nothing but pain hidden beneath his little blue jacket.
Nov.19.2008 Comic of the Day: Huge balls
So yeah, this is when the daily comic will usually run. I also promise that Family Circus will never find its way to these pages in a less-than-ironic fashion.
Via Explosm, probably my favorite comic site on the Web
I think now we all know a little bit more what it’s like to be Patrick Ewing.
And if you’re a small comic writer looking to be seen by a larger audience, feel free to send me your site or your best comic at roomtonecsATblogofhilarityDOTcom.
Nov.19.2008 GQ’s Men of the Year featured many of the women of the year
From GQ’s Men of the Year party last night in Los Angeles…
I have no clue who this chick is. The image credit reads “Sarah Shahi” which sounds like some B-list foreigner or perhaps a woman who gained her fame by marrying a Pokemon. Either way, all I know is that I want her to be a part of my life, preferably a part of my life that involves my genitals. Even if that means she’s just checking me for hernias. Daily. One can only hope that I can find a way to ejaculate while turning my head and coughing.
It seems pretty convenient that in a celebration for the men being named GQ’s Men of the Year, some of the hottest women in Hollywood came out to celebrate. Because women couldn’t even breathe without a powerful man. That’s why I tell dumb girls that my penis is a snorkel.
[In order of appearance: Summer Glau, Rosario Dawson, Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, Eliza Dushku, Elisha Cuthbert, Leelee Sobieski, Olivia Wilde, Emanuelle Chriqui, Nikki Reed, Jaime King. My faves, based on these photos, are Megan Fox , Kim Kardashian, and the smoking hot Nikki Reed. Because I know you were curious.]
