Jun.12.2009 Kate Gosselin is a great mom
Kate Gosselin, better known as Kate of the Jon and Kate Plus 8 team, is a horrible person. But up until now, there hasn’t been a whole lot of meaningful proof of it. Well, here we go with one that’s a doozy: Watch Kate deny her children water.
Description from WWTDD:
Here we see Plus 8 chasing fireflies and playing kick the can. Oh wait no they’re in a television studio so Kate can use them as props while she does an interview. While they wait, Mady says she’s thirsty. Kate ignores her. Mady says it again. Kate asks for a bottle of water, then takes a sip herself, then puts it away. Mady is, at best, three inches away when this happens. Mady says, “You’re really really mean, you drank it right in front of my face.” And Kate says, “Be quiet.” Then, FOR THE SECOND GOD DAMN TIME, Kate pretends as if she’s going to give a sip of water to adorable little girl, but then doesn’t.
That is straight up heartless. If I saw a child on the street and they were thirsty, I’d probably give them some water assuming they weren’t a different skin tone because come on, this isn’t charity. But this Kate won’t even give her own kids some water when we has a bottle full of it right there. Do you realize how shitty of a mom you have to be for your 7 year-old daughter to understand how much of a bitch you are? Kids aren’t really known for their perceptive abilities. You could shit on a child’s hamburgers every day for a month and they’d just stare at you and giggle then ask when Spongebob is coming on.
Jun.12.2009 Quote of the Day
It’s pretty much commonly accepted by anyone with a brain that the War on Drugs is a farce. But sometimes it’s fun to take a look at the other side and the satisfaction they get from a job well done. Pointless, but well done nonetheless.
Police recovered more than 35 pounds of hallucinogenic mushroom chocolate bars and a felony amount of marijuana Wednesday evening that would have been heading to the Bonnaroo music festival today.
“Mushrooms are similar to LSD in the fact that they cause people to hallucinate, and like LSD a person can die the first time they use these poisonous mushrooms, especially in the condition that they were in here,” said Murfreesboro police spokesman Kyle Evans.
“Being baked into chocolate makes it a lot easier to consume more than is needed for the high in a short amount of time and can lead to overdose.”
“The detectives in the vice unit as a whole should be proud of this investigation,” he said. “There’s no telling how many lives they may have saved by keeping these drugs off the streets.”
[via]
Jun.12.2009 Dutch TV is a bit pedophilic
Now I’ve never been to Holland, so I don’t really know what the culture’s like there. But where I come from, as well as most civilized nations, this TV show host with a child performer looks like a relationship that’s frowned upon by most sectors of society.
It’s a lot like Star Search. Only instead of stars, you get a sore heinie and the prize is repression of memories. Which isn’t much of a prize, really. Unless they give you the Men in Black flashing light memory eraser to keep. I can see how that’d come in handy lots of times in the future. Hell, I’d take a creepy older man invading me like a proctologist for that prize. I’ve done it for less.
[thanks Greg for the tip]
Jun.12.2009 The June 12 Hot Link Orgy
The hottest orgy with basketball
Watch the hot chick in the top left corner
funnyinteresting
-This is just not good parenting (funny, NSFWish pic)
-Tree porn (funny pics)
-Adventures in unsolicited boob grabbing (funny pics)
-Matthew Fox revealed some big stuff about the last season of LOST that you need to read
-License plate fail (funny pic)
-The 10 funniest stand-up comedy bits about marriage
-10 awesome videos of high school running backs
-1991 prom photos are a bit rough to look at
-Top 10 toys you’d like to F
-This may ruin the sex appeal of Megan Fox (funny pic)
girls
-This is some delightful beauty pageant camel toe
-Paola Pohl is bowling half-naked. Which doesn’t seem like it’d be allowed
-The 10 sexiest seethrough dresses on the red carpet (NSFWish)
-Joelle Kayembe is the hottest black-ish chick in South Africa
-Heidi Montag is going to be posing nude for Playboy, making her finally useful
-Kelli Garner’s got that real girl-bustiness I <3
-Keltie Martin is redheaded, attractive (usually this is mutually exclusive)
-Nilanti Narain is my favorite brown woman on the planet
-Yuu Morishita Sato is one of those generic hot busty Asian girls you may enjoy
Jun.12.2009 An exciting new way to wipe your ass
This is the Comfort Wipe, a new way to replace the archaic methods of using paper to remove feces from your hindquarters. See? Sounds silly when it’s written out, doesn’t it?
I know this video is supposed to seem crazy and ridiculous, but I don’t know man. We’ve been using toilet paper for so long that I think people fear change. But it really doesn’t make sense how, when things get a little sticky, we just use the same pieces of paper. Like if you stepped in dog crap, would you just use printer paper to get it off? Or would you get some water on your shoes? Probably the latter right?
Anyway, this doesn’t really affect me as I stopped using toilet paper a long time ago. Your mother’s tongue is infinitely more effective. Additionally, she loves corn. That’s part of why I affectionately refer to her as The Jolly Green Giant. The other part? Well, remember how those cucumbers always weren’t in the vegetable crisper when you were growing up? Yeah. Salads shouldn’t taste like rotting trout.
[via]
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Jun.12.2009 Free candy
Via Out at Home comes this comic about a man who just wants to be loved.
That’s so sad. If I ever have kids, I’m going to tell them to always talk to strangers. Kids are too fat these days and running from a man in a wispy mustache will give them their daily dose of physical fitness and teach them a very important lesson about trusting no one. Plus, if they were an unwanted pregnancy, I can just dust my hands off and move on with the healing process. Of collecting insurance money.
Jun.12.2009 What to do when a girlfriend finds your special videos
I tend to think that the Yahoo Answers “lol these are so craaaazy” posts are a bit trite, but this one is too good. And relatable, I’m sure. What should you do when your girlfriend finds 3D-rendered videos you made of her blowing you and fucking robots? A question as old as time.
Girlfriend found weird vids I made?
Before going out with my girlfriend I was kind of obsessed with her. I took pictures I had of her and scanned them into a japanese program that creates a 3d model of her which you can then ummmm… have your way with. Ahem.
I made about 50 different videos with this software, most of them were of her making love and performing oral sex on a 3d model of myself, and sometimes multiple versions of me. Others involved machines….you get the idea.
I eventually worked up the courage to talk to her and we ended up hitting it off and are now a couple, the problem is that she used my computer and ended up finding the vids even though they were buried inside multiple folders. Of course she was pretty freaked out, especially since the titles of the vids were needlessly crude on my part. She said she had to leave and needs some time alone.
If the program had options for making cuddling on the couch and walking through a park while holding hands videos there would have been far more of those, I hope she doesnt think that I view her as some kind of sexual object because I truly do love her
How can I smooth this over with her?
Well, I have a simple solution how you might be able to smooth things over with the girl. It involves letting her out of the hole you’ve stuck her in, forcing her to subsist off scraps and buckets of your jizm. That’d be a good start, at least.
I certainly agree that this is a creepy thing. However, I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t relate. I’ve done something similar many times. In fact, I’m doing it right now. I draw flipbooks of every person I’ve ever met getting sodomized by a donkey dressed like a surfer. I can’t tell you why, but I feel like it allows me to really get to the soul of that person. And that donkey. I know you, donkey. Your hopes, your dreams, I know.
