This is old but I just saw it on Reddit and it’s hilarious, so why not…Some reporter for the FOX affiliate in NYC was reporting from Randall’s Island (a wacky island off of Manhattan with mini golf and an asylum) and she got a dollar bill shoved down her shirt.
As unfair is it is for women to be all treated like strippers and prostitutes, it’s pretty hilarious to see a professional woman treated like a stripper and a prostitute. Alls I’m saying is that if you don’t to get dollar bills shoved down your bra, maybe you need to not give people lap dances right before going on camera.
In related news, I’m not opposed to receiving dollar bills down the front of my pants. Just saying. I’m new media, I have no dignity.
A new ad from something called The Cancer Project (do they want you to get cancer or not? WHAT ARE YOU AFTER, CANCER PROJECT?) caused a stir this week about hot dogs causing cancer, but it’s okay, hot dogs probably won’t kill you.
A new TV commercial shows kids eating hot dogs in a school cafeteria and one little boy’s haunting lament: “I was dumbfounded when the doctor told me I have late-stage colon cancer.”
It’s a startling revelation in an ad that vilifies one of America’s most beloved, if maligned, foods, while stoking fears about a dreaded disease.
But the boy doesn’t have cancer. Neither do two other kids in the ad who claim to be afflicted.
“My concern about this campaign is it’s giving the indication that the occasional hot dog in the school lunch is going to increase cancer risk,” said Colleen Doyle, the American Cancer Society’s nutrition director. “An occasional hot dog isn’t going to increase that risk.”
The hot dog council called the new ad an alarmist scare tactic…
Whoa hold on…there’s a Hot Dog Council! That’s amazing! Here I was, thinking hot dogs had no one to protect them for their portrayal as a villain in misleading media like the ad above or the video game Burgertime (I want to punch all the hot dogs in the face for how they’d attempt to sabotage my burgers), but thank God for the Hot Dog Council, who provides amazing hot dog stats like this:
During Hot Dog Season, Memorial Day to Labor Day, Americans typically consume 7 billion hot dogs or 818 hot dogs consumed every second during that period.
In 2007, consumers spent more than $4.1 billion on hot dogs and sausages in U.S. supermarkets, that equals more than 1.5 billion pounds of hot dogs and sausages bought at retail stores alone.
See? Hot dogs are keeping us from total economic ruin! The Cancer Project wants to take your hot dogs away. They want to stop us from having roads across the country made entirely of hot dogs…talk about progress! Are the folks at The Cancer Project anti-American communists? Probably. Are hot dogs delicious? Absolutely!
Side note: While doing research on hot dogs, I saw this AWESOME dramatic recreation of Burgertime. Burgertime is a f’d up place dude. [Source]
There’s absolutely nothing going on and real work is killing me so I give you this…a video. I know what you’re thinking…”A video on a blog? Wow, who’d have thought such a thing would be possible!” Welcome to the future folks.
So my question upon seeing this (and frankly most viral videos) is: Are people really this dumb now? Or were people always this dumb? Like I know kids always hurt themselves and whatever, but is it just that there are cameras omnipresent these days? I don’t know how this would come about and I don’t doubt some guy did this once fresh off the Great Depression, but I’m wondering if these random acts of idiocy are something unique to our current generation or if they’re something just more easily available.
You may be familiar with A&E’s hit show Intervention, a show chronicling people’s journeys to get a loved one into rehab. It’s real, gritty, touching, and often depressing. Addiction is a serious problem, when presented in most situations. Unless it’s taken so far that it becomes hilarious.
Saved by the Bell’s Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) was feeling a bit overextended. You see, Zack had an uncle who was looking for a hot new girl band…somehow performing at local burger joint “The Max” would end with the girls of SBTB being the female New Kids on the Block (which, at the time, was not meant to be hilarious). Anyway Jessie is doing way too much…class, singing, buying leg-warmers, so she takes caffeine pills. This ends with a caffeine pill binge, Zack coming to save Jessie from herself and, of course, a stirring rendition of The Pointer Sisters’ hit “I’m So Excited”.
When you wake up one day in the gutter with a bottle of Jolt Cola by your side, then and only then will you know Jessie’s pains.
HBO wasn’t always a safe haven for well-acted, critically acclaimed drama. For categorical evidence, look no further than HBO series Lifestories: Families in Crisis. Let’s be honest…Ben Affleck, not so great of an actor. And when you combine his poor acting with heavy-handed afterschool special-ish TV, you get this gem about steroid addiction. Check out Ben Affleck’s roid rage from Body to Die For: The Aaron Henry Story.
Roid Rage is thrown around quite a bit by the media, often in sensationalist ways. But one needn’t look further than the grounded portrayal of steroid addiction painted above to understand the gravity of the problem. Particularly the smashing, woman punching, and floor humping involved.
Beverly Hills 90210’s Dylan McKay (Luke Perry) was always the quintessential rebel with a heart of gold. Presumably gold due to all of the Goldschlager running through his veins. Dylan liked the drugs and, more importantly, the alcohol. In the clip below, he walks into a benefit and finds that Brandon (Jason Priestly) is dating his on-and-off girlfriend Kelly (whatsherface). If there’s a problem kicking your feet up on the table and drinking wine out of the bottle can’t solve, I haven’t seen it.
Fans of the show would be dismayed to find Dylan upon his return to the show casually drinking champagne with the rest of the 90210ers. Because alcoholics who went to rehab always like to hang out with some alcohol after achieving sobriety yet somehow avoid relapses. Truly a realistic depiction.
