Since Room Tone and the Blog of Hilarity have now been squished into one hub, like a wacky comedy with mismatched roommates, you’re now getting the fine work being done there right on this very page. Today’s Guest writer is former BoH writer and Room Tone Editor, Tomas. Let’s see what he has to say.

I’m sitting on a couch at a mall near my parents’ place in Florida. Natural light is pouring into the atrium, where I am joined by a few old guys waiting for their wives at Dillard’s. The air conditioning is on blast, so I’m staying cool while enjoying the highlight of my day: my hour of internet access.

About ten days ago, I started my morning like every other. I rolled out of bed, emptied my bladder, sipped some orange juice, and turned on my computer. When I went to check out my morning headlines, my browser greeted with the famous white box on the gray page: “ADDRESS NOT FOUND.” My internet was out, and no amount of turning modems and routers and computers off and on brought it back. The cable company came the next day and replaced the wires behind my parents’ home. The TV looked clearer, but so did “Page Load Error” on my screen. We waited a week for the cable company to address the source issue before canceling the service and signing up for DSL from the phone company. A few days later, I’m writing this offline and hoping to post it via magic.

I’ve been coming to the mall every day since. I grab a wireless signal and try to take in the internet for an hour a day. In the atrium where I sit, the sound system loops a piano covering pop hits. It’s a pretty classy touch for a mall. The first time I came to use my computer, I thought the piano was coming live from the baguettes-and-wraps joint behind me. I was corrected when I heard “Circle of Life” twice in a half-hour. Between that and covers of “I’m Still Standing” and “Benny and the Jets,” I figured out that the Earl of Sandwich (or its manager) is an Elton John fan.
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