Dec.09.2008 Kiss makes Chinese girl go deaf
Everyone knows the dangers of kissing a woman…herpes, getting into a relationship, cooties…but now you can add another one to the list: Making her go deaf.
A young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend.
The 20-something from Zhuhai in Guangdong province arrived at hospital having completely lost the hearing in her left ear, said local reports.
“While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution,” wrote the China Daily.
The doctor who treated the girl in hospital was quoted in the paper explaining what had happened.
“The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear.”
The chorus of warnings was echoed by the Shanghai Daily, which wrote: “A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in the air pressure between two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum.”
The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months.
It kind of sounds like Chinese propaganda to me but I guess we can pretend this is totally legit. What the fuck kind of sea monster do you have to be to suck so much air out of the girl (or blow so much air in) that she her ear drum explodes? You’re not supposed to kiss someone like you’re blowing up an innertube. In fact, there are rarely situations when sucking air out of or blowing air into an orifice will lead to anything good.
Ironically for me, when I kiss a girl, I often get a lot of ear pain afterwards. Usually from her prattling on about shoes or our future together or why is her vagina burning so badly and was I recently tested. You know, usual relationship nonsense.
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